Keith Ablow: Super Genius

Dr. Keith Ablow, the fraud of a psychologist that Fox News pays to spout idiocy on their network, is back with yet another absolutely brilliant position. He says Obama is using the World Cup to distract attention from…well, from what? Benghazi? He doesn’t say.

After “Outnumbered” co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle admitted she, too, was wrapped up in World Cup enthusiasm, Fox News’ in-house psychoanalyst Keith Ablow cut in to argue that the Obama administration was using the World Cup in order to distract from its many failures and scandals, copying a propaganda trick with roots stretching all the way back to the Roman Empire.

“At a time when there’s so many national issues and international issues of such prominence, I am a little suspicious of yet another bread and circus routine,” Ablow intoned.

Imagining the secret meetings among White House string-pullers, Ablow pretended to be an administration official laying out her scheme: “Let’s roll out the marijuana, pull back the laws and get people more crazy about yet another entertainment event.”

But Ablow isn’t so easily fooled. “This is to distract people. This is like Rome,” he said. “I can see why Obama would love the World Cup.”

I know, right? Just like he created the Olympics from scratch just to distract attention from Benghazi. This dumbass does realize that the World cup has been going on since before Obama was born, right?

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • gshelley

    Doesn’t quite match Ann Coulter levels of idiocy, but it’s pretty dumb

  • Chiroptera

    Obama invented soccer itself as a distraction from Benghazi.

  • D. C. Sessions

    This dumbass does realize that the World cup has been going on since before Obama was born, right?

    Well, as long as you have a time machine …

  • Al Dente

    Obama controls FIFA. That just shows how evil he is.

  • Pyra

    Oh no, there’s supposed to be a storm. I better pay extra attention to the president today so that the storm doesn’t distract my miniscule capacity for attention to more than one thing at a time!

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    As usual, he’s missing the real story. Every country has its defining characteristic. For example, Kenyans love soccer.

  • John Pieret

    Keith Ablow: Super Genius

    No doubt he got his Ph.D. from the Acme School of psychology. Beep beep.

  • dan4

    “Let’s roll out the marijuana, pull back the laws,…”

    Huh?

  • John Pieret

    Let’s roll out the marijuana

    Because Obama used George Soros’ mind control ray to make the voters in Colorado and Washington state vote for recreational use or maybe because he didn’t send in the National Guard to seize all the pot and frustrate the will of the people they talk about so much when it comes to gay marriage bans.

  • colnago80

    Re John Pieret @ #7

    Actually, Ablow got his undergraduate degree from Brown and his PhD from Johns Hopkins. Only goes to show that even prestigious schools graduate the occasional clunker (e.g. Duane Gish and Jonathan Wells, U.C. Berkeley, Kurt Wise, Un. of Chicago and Harvard).

  • matty1

    Actually Phillip Bump in the Washington Post has revealed the truth

    The true reason that Barack Obama has never released a birth certificate that meets the exacting standards of evidentiary scientists like Jerome Corsi is that his birth certificates have been doctored to obscure not the place of his birth, but the date.

    Barack Obama was born in Chicago, Illinois in 1871. (The great fire was also his fault, conspiracy theorists.) His political ambitions began immediately. In grade school he made two key friends that would stay with him throughout his life: David Axelrod (born 1874) and Jay Carney (1872). Within 20 years, Obama’s ascent to power had been mapped out; within another 10, the trio realized the problems that awaited them this month.

  • suttkus

    Look, it is obviously silly to suggest that Obama invented soccer or controls FIFA. Let’s be serious here. Soccer’s been around for a long time now. BUT! How did people suddenly get interested in it? Huh? Nobody* cared about soccer before this year! Now, suddenly they do! DAMN YOU OBAMA! We didn’t want to like soccer, but you made us!

    * “Nobody” determined by a poll of white male Americans in my age group that happened to be in shouting distance, who, naturally, constitute a good polling sample.

  • JoeBuddha

    You misspelled “Sooper”…

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Has anyone checked if Ablow had his named changed from Ablowhard at some point?

  • Doug Little

    matty1 @11,

    That link was awesome. Definitely going to have to add that to my reading list.

  • Doug Little

    suttkus @12,

    Look, it is obviously silly to suggest that Obama invented soccer or controls FIFA. Let’s be serious here. Soccer’s been around for a long time now. BUT! How did people suddenly get interested in it? Huh? Nobody* cared about soccer before this year! Now, suddenly they do! DAMN YOU OBAMA! We didn’t want to like soccer, but you made us!

    Not if you were wearing your standard issue tinfoil hat.

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    Does anyone remember how, four years ago, conservatives were horribly victimized by the World Cup, their oppressors shoving the game down their throats by doing things like making commercials and televising the matches? Also, soccer is like communism because you can’t use your hands.

  • sugarfrosted

    The world cup got more popular in the US because media realized they could use another big sports event to make even more money from advertisers. So they started talking about soccer more on ESPN and hyped it up more than they used to. I guess this is part of Obama’s plans as a socialist to make rich people richer?

  • Crimson Clupeidae

    Ed, you have to include the middle initial in the title for that line to really work.

    It is, after all, Wile E. Coyote, Suuuuuuperrrrr Geeeenuis.