All Sarah Palin, All the Time

Following in the path blazed by Glenn Beck and continuing her never-ending quest to bilk as much money out of the few people who still take her seriously, Sarah Palin is starting her own online TV network: The Sarah Palin Channel. Presumably, it’s for those who find Fox News a little too complicated.

The Sarah Palin Channel, which costs $9.95 per month or $99.95 for a one-year subscription, will feature her commentary on “important issues facing the nation,” as well as behind-the-scenes looks into her personal life as “mother, grandmother, wife and neighbor.” Palin serves as executive editor, overseeing all content posted to the channel.

“I want to talk directly to you on our channel, on my terms — and no need to please the powers that be,” Palin, who is also a Fox News contributor, said in a video announcing the channel. “Together, we’ll go beyond the sound bites and cut through the media’s politically correct filter.”

Now that’s just funny. As if she has anything to offer other than soundbites full of empty platitudes and catchphrases. And it costs more than Netflix, for crying out loud.

Subscribers to the Sarah Palin Channel will have the ability to post their own videos to the website, submit questions to her, and participate in online video chats with her and other subscribers.

Oh, now that should be fun. Watching videos uploaded by Sarah Palin fans? That’s almost worth the ten bucks a month right there. Watch this video, then imagine the kind of person who would find it anything but incredibly annoying. Rob Tinaisai got off the best line, saying the channel costs $99.95 for a 12-month subscription, which “will actually be 6-month subscription when she quits halfway through.” Ouch.

httpv://youtu.be/NTp8qdzlLWw

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About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • doublereed

    Cenk Uygur had a lot of fun with the advertisement.

  • John Pieret

    Okay … NOW I believe in hell!

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @ ^ John Pieret : Well, they do say hell is other people don’t they?

    Seems they just didn’t specify which other person!

    What an a-Palin thought.

  • http://queershoop.wordpress.com/ Tony! The Queer Shoop
  • Artor

    “…Which will actually be 6-month subscription when she quits halfway through.”

    This. I can’t envision Palin having the patience to actually follow a TV production schedule for longer than 6 months. If the channel continues for a whole year, I will be very surprised.

  • cag

    The content can actually be played backwards and still convey the same message. This is called a Palindrone.

  • http://mikejmayberry.com blorf

    I wonder what kind of filtration she will have on those uploads? I would love to see Tina Fey SNL clips, Upworthy videos and the like sent to it…

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Why would she quit? It’s easy. All she has to do is make one six-second Vine video and use that as the same video for each new page. She’s automating her own career.

  • Trebuchet

    I can’t envision Palin having the patience to actually follow a TV production schedule for longer than 6 months. If the channel continues for a whole year, I will be very surprised.

    I can. It’s not as if she’ll be doing any actual work. She has hired help for that. All she needs to do is sit down occasionally and spend five minutes ranting about something. She can probably record a couple dozen of those in a day and take the rest of the month off.

  • Blanche Quizno

    What kind of fresh hell is this?? I still can’t understand why her walking off her job as an elected political servant to go a-whoring after the spotlight had no negative repercussions.

  • caseloweraz

    In the announcement shown by Cenk Uyger, Sarah Palin says: “That’s what I’m most anxious about — hearing from you.”

    Quite right. So she should be.

  • Trebuchet

    In the announcement shown by Cenk Uyger, Sarah Palin says: “That’s what I’m most anxious about — hearing from you.”

    Quite right. So she should be.

    She’ll never see any negative responses. Again, that’s what the hired help is for.

  • Doc Bill

    Colbert does a brilliant takedown of the Sarah Palin Channel but the very end of the bit is Absolutely Brilliant!

  • Alverant

    I think Tinaisai is being a bit optimistic about how long the channel will last. On one hand, she does love the spotlight. On the other hand she hates work and running a TV channel is hard work. I’d give it 100 days before it goes down and no refunds to those suckers who bought a year’s pass.

  • busterggi

    Isn’t there also a new cable network for those who find Faux too liberal? I don’t want to check my serive for it as I don’t want to encourage the crazy.

  • Michael Heath

    Ed writes:

    [An annual subscription to Palin's channel] costs more than Netflix, for crying out loud.

    A nice illustration on the idiocy and delusion of Palin’s subscriber fans. I excuse the press that will watch this channel in order to glean the best bits for our entertainment, analogous to Ed’s reporting on WND.

  • Michael Heath

    Sarah Palin:

    Together, we’ll go beyond the sound bites and cut through the media’s politically correct filter.

    [. . .]

    Subscribers to the Sarah Palin Channel will have the ability to post their own videos to the website, submit questions to her, and participate in online video chats with her and other subscribers.

    I’m confident that cogent criticisms of Ms. Palin will censored. If so, that will illustrate Palin’s pre-existing, hypocritical, propensity for psychologically projecting her own failures onto her critics.

  • rationalinks

    Don’t we already have this channel? Isn’t it called Maverick TV or some such. How much more stupid can we possibly squeeze onto our airwaves?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Michael Heath “A nice illustration on the idiocy and delusion of Palin’s subscriber fans.”

    Ten bucks a month is a small price to pay for Freedom!

     

    rationalinks “How much more stupid can we possibly squeeze onto our airwaves?”

    You Liberal naysayers have been predicting Peak Wingnut for years!

  • Trebuchet

    I think Tinaisai is being a bit optimistic about how long the channel will last. On one hand, she does love the spotlight. On the other hand she hates work and running a TV channel is hard work. I’d give it 100 days before it goes down and no refunds to those suckers who bought a year’s pass.

    Again? She won’t be DOING any work. Just blathering when she feels like it. She has minions to do the actual work.

  • Sastra

    … as well as behind-the-scenes looks into her personal life as “mother, grandmother, wife and neighbor.”

    Oh boy howdy, that’s a relief. I’ve been trying to find me a way to get ahold of the recipe for that sure fire good potato salad Sarah brought to the last block party. Said it was from her auntie — but I betcha she added her own special touches like she always does. Now at last there’s a way for us plain folks to talk directly to Palin herself, with no need to please the Politically Correct media down there in Washington.

  • cjcolucci

    There’s only one thing that would make me watch. It would be politically incorrect to say what that is, but it might result in — er — starbursts.

  • yoav

    How long before she realize running a web site actually involves work and quit?


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