Victoria Jackson Lost. Damn It.

I‘m very bummed to report that Victoria Jackson lost her bid for a seat on the Williamson, Tennessee County Commission, where she would have kept me in stitches blathering on about Agenda 21 and Obama’s Marxist Muslim agenda while deliberating on whether to grant a waiver for a gas station to put up a new sign. But fear not, she won’t be going away. And besides, she didn’t really like math anyway.

On a personal note, my campaign, the office of “County Commissioner of Williamson County District 2″ was pushed aside as unimportant. The TV coverage seemed to ignore that office. But, my friends and I were very curious. Did our efforts mean anything? Was anyone listening? The doors I knocked. The sweat that poured from my pores as I walked the street next to rush hour traffic on Columbia Pike, holding my sign, pushing my “push cards,” the videos, articles, enduring the barbs from the liberally biased media… All for naught?

After we celebrated the win of ‘conservative values,’ and hugged our amazing candidate friends, my friends Chris and Brenda started watching the Brixx TV looking for my thing. Finally, the TV reported that Betsy and Judy, my opponents, got 1,000 something votes each and I got 600 something. 2 commissioners of 3 are chosen. I lost!

My first reaction? Hmmm. Well, I don’t really like numbers, and Commissioners mostly talk about numbers, the budget.

Well there ya go. Oh, and it might have something to do with her persona:

I do portray a “ditz” extremely well and have been paid well for that…gift. My persona could be a stumbling block. My voice. The bow.

Yes, the fact that you’re a moron might have had something to do with why you lost.

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • colnago80

    Yes, the fact that you’re a moron might have had something to do with why you lost.

    Since when is being a moron an impediment to holding public office. Case in point, Louie Gohmert.

  • John Pieret

    Yes, the fact that you’re a moron might have had something to do with why you lost.

    It hasn’t stopped Michelle Bachmann, Steve King and Louie Gohmert.

  • wildbill

    Don’t forget governor Oops (Texas is breeding ground for these folks)

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    @ 1 & 2

    Wow! A photo finish!!

  • dugglebogey

    Driven by hunger, a fox tried to reach some grapes hanging high on the vine but was unable to, although he leaped with all his strength. As he went away, the fox remarked ‘Oh, you aren’t even ripe yet! I don’t need any sour grapes.’

  • chilidog99

    What’s wrong with the water in Tennessee?

    Stacey “don’t say gay” Campfield lost as well.

  • moarscienceplz

    dugglebogey beat me to it, but I gotta say that is the first time I’ve heard the sour grapes defense applied to actual numbers. I wonder if the odd number are more sour than the even ones? Or, considering the source, maybe the only numbers she like are irrational ones.

    😉

  • pocketnerd

    On a personal note, my campaign, the office of “County Commissioner of Williamson County District 2″ was pushed aside as unimportant. The TV coverage seemed to ignore that office.

    I feel for poor Victoria. In a similar act of negligence, the lamestream media has refused to cover the mayoral elections for my town. Even Fox News has ignored them — so much for being “fair and balanced.” It’s almost like those ivory-tower egghead elitist Beltway Insider Hollywood liberals running the news media think local elections aren’t nationwide, prime-time news.

  • Uncle Ebeneezer

    Also too, numbers have that whole Arab history thing so Victoria should avoid them at all costs so people won’t assume she’s an Al Qaeda/ISIS supporter. /snark

  • Chiroptera

    I do portray a “ditz” extremely well….

    Whoa! She’s only portraying a “ditz”? Her performance is…uncanny!

  • busterggi

    Just a few cartwheels more and she’d have won by a landslide.

  • Crimson Clupeidae

    Clear evidence that god doesn’t really exist.

    Sorry Ed.

  • pianoman, Heathen & Torontophile

    “Clear evidence that god doesn’t really exist. ”

    Probably one of the biggest reason I began to question things years ago. I had a hard time with the idea of a creation by a god whose end product should have had a “Made In China” sticker on it.

  • dan4

    @6: Uh, you’re a fan of both Victoria Jackson and Stacey Campfield? Seriously?

  • rockofrages

    I never understood Victoria’s schtick. Now I know why. It’s not schtick.

  • skinnercitycyclist

    Was anyone listening? The doors I knocked. The sweat that poured from my pores as I walked the street

    Yeah, having a sweaty Victoria Jackson show up at my door giggling and pushing cards at me is a pretty canny electoral ploy… she woulda had my vote fo’ sho’.