Fighting the Devil: There’s an App for That

Are you sometimes tempted to do naughty things like masturbate or think for yourselves? Well that’s the devil talking, son, and now there’s a smartphone app that promises to give you “The power to silence Satan …

in your pocket!”

Inspired by his own book Silence Satan, ministry leader Kyle Winkler of Kyle Winkler Ministries (catchy name) developed an app to help get those damned demons out of yer pretty little head. The app is called “Shut Up, Devil!” As Winkler explains, it’s a “weapon for spiritual warfare.”

He even touts that, “Soon, you realize that you’re no longer under attack, but you’re on the attack. And over time, issues you once dealt with will no longer plague you. And the lies the Devil launches at you, will no longer influence you.”

The Youtube video explaining the app is simply hilarious.

httpv://youtu.be/JAsZ3AgLygc

Here’s the website.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Kevin Kehres

    What’s the verse for when a police officer has you in a choke hold?

  • http://zenoferox.blogspot.com/ Zeno

    Five years ago a teenager gained some temporary fame by creating a “prayer app” to facilitate the process of importuning one’s deity. Seems like Kyle Winkler’s “new” app is rather derivative and more narrowly specialized. As to how much good it will do anyone, we might ponder the fate of the prayer-app kid, who was run down in a hit-and-run incident. If God is out there, he spends a lot of his time looking the other way.

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    This is app is good. It helped me become a Level 4 Laser Lotus.

  • blf

    Since fundie xians seem to lie and scam at higher-than-usual rates, what’s the possibility that this is malware? Deduce $X from your account every month as a “donation”, or something even more odious?

  • Mr Ed

    Brilliant. It requires access to your contacts, facebook page GPS and credit card. After only a few weeks the real power of the app kicks in. “We’ve noticed that every Thursday when your wife is a women’s bible group you list adultery and your location is a neighbor’s house. We can provide a DISCREET bible verse for only $9.99.”

  • Larry

    Is that Satan in your pocket…

    … or are you just glad to see me?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002214596243 ethanhobart

    I want a ‘Shut up, Jesus!’ app. Someone get to work on that.

  • dingojack

    “…and now there’s a smartphone app that promises to give you ‘The power to silence Satan … in your pocket!’ ”.

    Just switch satan to ‘silent mode’. (Don’t put him on ‘vibrate’ ’cause that can get messy!)

    Dingo

  • http://Www.metalmischief.com YOB – Ye Olde Blacksmith

    Is it just me, or does he sound an awful lot like James Tiberius Kirk trying to be “compassionate”?

    …because *pause* it puts the power *pause* of the word of god *pause* in your pocket.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    Where’s the “Lord, protect me from your followers” app?

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    Is there an app to fix stupid, yet?

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    I want a ‘Shut up, Jesus!’ app.

    The Romans had one.

  • http://www.clanfield.net janiceintoronto

    I often see prominent atheists asking other atheists not to call religious people stupid.

    I beg to differ.

    What kind of idiot would use this crap?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    I preordered for the dual gold Desert Eagles.

  • dougtaron

    The iPower of Christ compels you…

  • busterggi

    Christians please take a little advice – give in to temptation once and a while and it won’t always be a constant threat for you to worry about.

    Obsessive-compulsive prayer isn’t working.

  • vmanis1

    Satan makes me giggle when I read about grift like this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000263140906 Donovan
  • lorn

    Kevin Kehres @ #1:

    I’m thinking these might be appropriate for a choke-hold situation, depending how it is going:

    On the plus side: Ezekiel 37:5

    Thus saith the Lord GOD unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live.

    Or

    If thing don’t seem likely to go well: Psalms 146:4

    His breath goeth forth, he returneth to his earth; in that very day his thoughts perish.

    I’m sure, either way, those verses will provide great comfort and solace as you are being choked out.