Next Up for Sorbo: Chemtrails

Fresh off his absurdly over-the-top performance as the evil atheist philosophy professor in God’s Not Dead, has-been actor Kevin Sorbo will again perform in a movie that appeals to the Tea Party types. This time it’s a movie about the non-existent threat of chemtrails.

In Poison Sky, yet another film that caters to conservatives who lack any understanding of the real world, Sorbo plays a Norwegian shipping magnate who sells chemicals to the United States government–yes, for CHEMTRAILS.

The movie will feature footage from Arizona state Senator Kelli Ward’s ridiculous hearing on the tin-foil-hat theory that the United States government is spraying chemicals to alter weather patterns, kill residents, and other dastardly aims.

While Ward’s hearing was entertaining, it only served to legitimize ridiculous claims that the contrails left by aircraft are anything but water vapors…

At the meeting, residents expressed their idiotic concerns.

“Every time they do chemtrailing there is some dramatic change in the weather. I noticed it this weekend and then it got very windy,” one resident said. “I’m not a scientist and I don’t know what’s in the (chemtrails). I think we have a right to know instead of worry about it every day.”

Another resident said that the “chemtrails” may be “extraterrestrial weapons, chemical, biological, environmental, climate, or tectonic weapons.” Another sagely added, “Really, we are being sprayed like we’re bugs and it’s really not okay.”

One resident offered a “scientific” test for chemtrails: “There’s a simple test you can take with hydrogen peroxide and red wine in your mouth. And when you spit it out, you will see all those nanoparticles collect in the bowl. Every single one of you are affected. Every single one.”

Hey, a guy’s gotta eat, right?

"You could make a case that the burning and hanging of witches and heretics was ..."

Swanson Thinks Burning Man Wants to ..."
"They want to burn "...literature with liberal, democratic tendencies / attitudes..."Presumably that includes the US ..."

White Supremacists Cancel Book Burning in ..."
"A toddler is a human being. It's not a full grown human being. But it ..."

The ‘We Should Just Ignore Them’ ..."
Follow Us!
POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    “extraterrestrial weapons, chemical, biological, environmental, climate, or tectonic weapons.”

    Someone ought to do a BOTE on how much you’d have to drop from a plane to cause an earthquake. I am guessing the plane would have trouble taking off.

  • caseloweraz

    Nah, because the planes are using alien antigravity technology.

    Of course, the correlation between vapor trails and earthquakes is notable mostly for its absence. But still, “Tectonic! Yeah, that’s it, that’s the ticket!”

  • Childermass

    A guy has gotta live in style…

    And the only people willing to pay Sorbo a salary of a “B” movie actor are not making mainstream movies.

    Okay, I lied. He probably a “C” in the movies. But it still pays better than guest roles on cable TV.

  • caseloweraz

    I’ll have to look up the video of Kelli Ward’s hearing — to find out if anyone attending declared, “I saw Bigfoot once.”

    (h/t: Close Encounters of the Third Kind)

  • coragyps

    “And when you spit it out, you will see all those nanoparticles collect in the bowl. ”

    What. The. Everlasting. Fuck?

    Peroxide made oxygen bubbles back in my day. And why is the red wine even in there?

    Even in 1969 I never found any hallucinogens as strong as this guy has……

  • alanb

    I’ll have to look up the video of Kelli Ward’s hearing — to find out if anyone attending declared, “I saw Bigfoot once.”

    It is rare for a conspiracy nutter to believe in only a single conspiracy. Some can give you lists of dozens. For some reason, I have found a strong correlation between chemtrail believers Sandy Hook Truthers.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    Forget the H2O2—just drink the damn wine!

  • caseloweraz

    Word is that Kerry Bentivolio of Michigan promised a chemtrails hearing last fall. But he thought better of it, apparently, and cancelled for lack of evidence.

  • Mr Ed

    One only need look at a map to see this is true. California has several major airports and earthquakes, metro New York has three large airports and superstorm Sandy. What else could it be. If that wasn’t enough both the White House and Congress are no fly zones, why else would that be.

  • caseloweraz

    coragyps: Peroxide made oxygen bubbles back in my day. And why is the red wine even in there?

    For contrast — so you can see the white nanoparticles against the white bowl. <cough>

  • coragyps

    caseloweraz – White nanoparticles?? Those are the least harmful kind! Muave ones are the dangerous ones!!

  • dingojack

    Ethanol and hydrogen peroxide and a catalyst (such as potassium permanganate or ferric chloride) plus a match, dumbass!*

    Dingo

    ———

    * don’t try this is your own kitchen — use someone’s you don’t like. :)

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Oh, sure, they’re just trying to sucker us in to going to the movie theater so that they can fill us up with popcorn “butter”. Think about it!

  • John Pieret

    … dramatic change in the weather … extraterrestrial weapons, chemical, biological, environmental, climate, or tectonic weapons … hydrogen peroxide and red wine in your mouth. And when you spit it out, you will see all those nanoparticles …

    And we let these people wander around without supervision and probably even vote.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1017276335 Strewth

    This is why you don’t cut funding for public education and mental health care.

  • lldayo

    And we let these people wander around without supervision and probably even vote.

    I think it’s because nobody wants to get that close to them.

  • caseloweraz

    In retrospect, I wish I could have attended that chemtrails hearing. It would have given me a chance to declare, at the appropriate moment, “I saw nanopaticles once. Gave me eyestrain like you wouldn’t believe!”

  • howardhershey

    You can see nanoparticles? My eyesight must not be that good anymore.

  • raven

    One resident offered a “scientific” test for chemtrails: “There’s a simple test you can take with hydrogen peroxide and red wine in your mouth. And when you spit it out, you will see all those nanoparticles collect in the bowl. Every single one of you are affected. Every single one.”

    This has nothing to do with chemtrails.

    If mixing hydrogen peroxide and red wine in vivo creates nanoparticles, the solution is simple. Don’t drink hydrogen peroxide and red wine!!!

  • blf

    As someone here at Dispatches (I think) pointed out recently, if you really wanted to inject something nasty into the air for people to breath or whatever, spike the petrol / diesel / catalytic converters. Exhaust fumes at street-level would be so much more effective.

    (Or just fluoridate the water…)

  • D. C. Sessions

    I really should send Senator Ward pictures of the Eighth Air Force over Germany seventy years ago.

    Chemtrails everywhere. Absolute picture proof of chemical warfare — the bombs were just props to hide the chemical tanks on the planes.

  • Michael Heath

    I wonder; what percentage of people concerned about toxins in chemtrails are also global warming denlialists?

  • Moggie

    There’s a simple test you can take with hydrogen peroxide and red wine in your mouth. And when you spit it out, you will see all those nanoparticles collect in the bowl.

    You fool, those are particles of Jesus, because of the wine! You shouldn’t interrupt him mid-transubstantiation!

  • Doug Little

    Say it ain’t so Hercules. As least there’s still Xena.

  • JustaTech

    Good grief. Someone over at SyFy needs to dig up a script out of the “D movies/shows” file and put Sorbo in it just to keep him out of the rest of this crap. If everybody chipped in $10 that’d fund a SyFy show for, what, 5 years? Better bad TV about aliens than bad TV that thinks aliens are real.

  • dingojack

    blf (#20) – like here, for example? *

    Dingo

    ——–

    * keep reading till you get to the sulphur dioxide guy. Hilarious!

  • busterggi

    Chemtrails – if only angels would stop eating beans…

  • feeves

    I had to look up the wine claim.

    http://youtu.be/a2mC7wqCha0

    Because what goes into your mouth has to e the exact thing as what comes out, right?

  • Rowan vet-tech

    Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???? I grew up watching H:TLJ. It was my favorite show. I attended conventions and cosplayed as a late teen. Why must he ruin my nostalgia???

  • https://www.facebook.com/danny.shell.77 Danny Shell

    A lot of stupid people have looked to the sky and saw it filled with shit that shouldn’t have been there. These stupid people have no idea of what they see going on most every day but they are smart enough to say something about what they no nothing about. All of you stupid fucking Hippocratic people including the ones that publishes the so called chem trail site should spend some time looking up for something no good is going on. Do a search for blue sky on your computer and see for yourself what the sky used to look like. After that go outside and look up you will notice that the sky is no longer BLUE . It is a hazy shade of grey. The sun used to be a big orange ball in the sky. Now it is a big silver very bright ball. Think to your selves what has made these changes in the sun and sky. When you were children you could not walk across the clover blooming in your back yard bare footed for you would get stung by a honey bee while chasing monarch butterflies. Now go to your back yard and find one honey bee if you can and I guarantee you will not find a monarch. When you older people were in school most of you did an insect collection. Now children don’t do it because most of the insects have died off and their is no more insect collections to be done. 20 years ago (two decades) is when the started spraying the sky’s full time and in that time everything that I spoke about above has occurred. This has had to cost in the trillions of dollars. I say I do not know whats going on, but i am not denying that something is. The earth is in the biggest die off of species ever and its the insects that’s dying. All of you people that can see nano sized particles should open your mind and investigate this for your selves. After you learn about whats happened to your world with out you knowing anything about it…………….. GET MAD………….. And try to find out who is doing it.

  • dingojack

    “… Hippocratic people .. ”

    Those darn doctors … [shakes fist] 😉

    “After that go outside and look up you will notice that the sky is no longer BLUE . It is a hazy shade of grey. ”

    OMG, he/she is RIGHT!. Last weekend it was fine and sunny (though DRY & COLD), today it’s overcast and slightly drizzly (and COLD). Or that could be an off-shore high pressure cell driving on-shore, cold moist winds.

    But OMG, PANIC!!!

    “The sun used to be a big orange ball in the sky. Now it is a big silver very bright ball.”

    Wait now, someone swapped our G-class sun for a K-class, then an F-class star without anyone noticing. This is bigger than we thought people!

    “When you were children you could not walk across the clover blooming in your back yard bare footed for you would get stung by a honey bee…”

    Nope — Bouteloua dactyloides tends to strangle out anything else. Locally, the larger problem were Soliva sessilis patches. Far more common than clover-attracted bees.

    ” When you older people were in school most of you did an insect collection.”

    Again nope — I had a life.

    “Now children don’t do it because most of the insects have died off ”

    Wow — that’ll be news to entomologists. All this time they’ve been studying (mostly) figments of they’re own imagination! Fancy that!

    Have you considered that other causes of the die-off, such as AGW, would be far, far more likely?

    Stick around – you’re almost as amusing as Sulphur Dioxide Guy.

    Dingo

  • Quantum Mechanic

    Och, Dingo, ya’ beat me to it. Although, around abouts where I grew up, Tribulus terrestris is more likely. Perhaps that’s what the gov’mint’s been spraying with those chem trails?

  • oranje

    The sky is blue here. Maybe those chemtrails all have azure paint in them up here.

  • freehand

    Hi, Danny Shell. you’re new here.

    .

    You probably mean hypocritical, not Hippocratic, but I’m not sure why you wold accuse us of that.

    .

    Yes, bees of many species are disappearing; it seems to be largely from the use of neonicotinoids, a class of pesticides targeting insects that are used by farmers and landscapers far too freely, and are killing off bees around the world. The bees are also under stress from global warming (heat waves, loss of flowers, drought, etc.) and toxins other than the neonicotinoids.

    .

    Our sky here in the Columbia Basin in Washington State is pretty greyish brown right now. This is mostly from the fires burning in the Cascade Mountains, also a result of global warming. Also, the wind is getting somewhat stronger on the average, and that kicks up the dust, especially here in the West where the droughts are spreading slowly but steadily. California is burning. Oregon and Washington and Canada is burning. The Siberian tundra and forests are burning. Even Sweden is burning. Droughts dry the forests, wind picks up dust, bark beetles (which are spreading faster because of the warmer summers) are killing the trees, which then are ignited by dry lightening storms.

    .

    However, con trails (note the spelling) are simply cloud stuff: water vapor. When jet fuel is burned, one of the by-products is water vapor. It comes out of the jet engine as invisible steam, but a moment later it cools and precipitates out as visible water droplets – the same stuff as fog and clouds.

    .

    What you are seeing are real observations, but you need science to understand why it’s happening. Just making stuff up isn’t an explanation. We know who’s doing it:

    1. Greedy powerful people who make money by selling fossil fuels (coal, oil, and natural gas). They aren’t trying to destoy the world (probably). They simply don’t care.

    2. Foolish people who let themselves get distracted with fantastic conspiracy theories, because they don’t understand science and want emotionally satisfying answers.

    .

    (Also, too, nanoparticles can’t really be seen, and we’re nowhere near the stage of technology where they would be useful for spying, population mind control, etc.. When you rinse your mouth out with any liquid and spit it out, there will be stuff floating around in there. )

  • Pingback: Enviroment – Wednesday – 8_13_2014 | Headline News()

  • http://dontlinkmebro F [i’m not here, i’m gone]
    “Every time they do chemtrailing there is some dramatic change in the weather. I noticed it this weekend and then it got very windy,” one resident said. “I’m not a scientist and I don’t know what’s in the (chemtrails). I think we have a right to know instead of worry about it every day.”

    It’s beans.