Wingnut: Every Natural Disaster Since 1991 a Sign From God

Gordon Klingenschmitt had self-declared “prophet” John McTernan on his amusing little internet show this week, who told him that virtually every natural disaster that had taken place in this country since 1991 was God punishing and warning us for daring to disagree with something the Israeli government wanted.

As McTernan explained to Klingenschmitt, just about every major natural disaster that has struck the United States since 1991 has been as a result of America trying to force Israel to give up land for peace. McTernan said that President George H.W Bush’s vacation home in Maine was damaged when the US co-sponsored the Madrid Peace Conference as a sign from God and, since then, America has been hit by massive natural disasters every time this nation has tried to “pressure Israel to divide the land.”

“That includes the North Ridge Earthquake,” McTernan said, “It includes Hurricane Andrew, Hurricane Katrina, it includes the tremendous tornado outbreak in Joplin, Missouri and many, many, many other of these massive disasters and there is an Israeli component at the very time of the disasters.”

Wait, I thought it was because of gays? Or abortion? Or because we “took God out of schools.” I wish you guys would make up your mind.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/eo.raptor.3 eoraptor

    e.) All of the above.

  • suttkus

    Funny how they are indistinguishable from the natural disasters that occurred before 1991. I wonder how we’re supposed to tell the difference.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    I thought ALL natural disasters were ‘Acts of God’

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    …For at least the last 6,000 years.

  • Skip White

    Funny how they are indistinguishable from the natural disasters that occurred before 1991. I wonder how we’re supposed to tell the difference.

    Well that’s because God’s aim is so bad, He not only misses in space, but time as well.

  • keithb

    I wonder what he would think about the xkcd about hurricanes http://xkcd.com/1407/

  • Doug Little

    America has been hit by massive natural disasters

    Can they be called natural if a supernatural being caused them?

  • Brent

    John McTernan looks like he still lives at home in his mother’s basement. Makes me want to run out and check my local sex offender registry. You’d think that Almighty God, omnipotent creator of heaven and earth, would choose better-dressed prophets.

    These guys would be the first to criticize anything Obama does involving sitting down and treating another country with respect as a massive giveaway of American sovereignty. But they apparently don’t see the hypocrisy of giving Israel a blank check to dictate our foreign policy. What morons.

  • Doug Little

    Wait is that…. Newman.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    Brent: “You’d think that Almighty God, omnipotent creator of heaven and earth, would choose better-dressed prophets. ”

     

    Actually I think that it’s traditional to have prophets looking really grotty.

    For example the guy who said ‘Cleanliness is next to Godliness’ obviously hadn’t read the Bubble

  • Pingback: Wingnuts say the most idiotic things | The Shoops Roost()

  • eric

    So for 23 years God has been warning us that we better change our ways right now, huh?

    Also, the two-state solution with borders fixed at the pre-1967 borders has been pushed by the UN (and US) since 1974, so I have no idea why they’re going with a 1991 cutoff.

  • D. C. Sessions

    I wish you guys would make up your mind.

    I realize it’s a typo, but sometimes “in typo veritas.”

  • lorn

    They only make one substantial claim so I figure I might look it up.

    Looking up reports of the day in 1991 they variously report the estate “damaged” or “heavily damaged”. I suspect eh later to be an overstatement simply because photographs showed the house to be still standing and largely intact. Most of the damage seems to have been to seaward exposures such as windows, beach erosion and undercutting, and to the driveway and stone entry arch. Wikipedia claims damage was estimated as $3 – 400,000. A small fraction of the value of the property. None of the reports claimed the house was destroyed.

    Is it possible these boys are bullshitting us?

  • Ethan Myerson

    I really feel like we should give the wingnuts a whole corner of the country. Lets give them all of the southeast. They can make whatever theocratic rules they want. They can put whatever monuments they like on their courthouses, ban whatever behavior they want, mandate that everyone pray once a day and twice on Sunday to their god. Then, when the hurricanes hit, they’ll have to examine if maybe they were completely wrong about what causes weather.

    Of course, long before their society is wiped out by natural phenomena, a United Nations Tribunal would have sanctioned them for their inhumane human rights violations.

  • laurentweppe

    Gordon Klingenschmitt had self-declared “prophet” John McTernan on his amusing little internet show this week, who told him that virtually every natural disaster that had taken place in this country since 1991 was God punishing and warning us for daring to disagree with something the Israeli government wanted.

    Really? I thought it was God punishing us for releasing to much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.

  • whheydt

    One is reminded the story about Iceland converting to Christianity…

    The islanders noted that Christian missionaries were having some success and decided that it wasn’t going to work if the populace were part Christian and part Pagan. So they did what they usually did with important decisions. They called an Alting. During the debate, a local volcano started erupting and one of the debaters pointed to the resulting lava flows and said, “See? The gods are angry. We need to remain Pagan.” Another debater rose, and pointing to an old, cold lava flow and said, “At what were the gods angry when that lava flowed?”

    (England may be considered the “Mother of Parliaments”, but that makes Iceland the Grandfather.)

  • dingojack

    So Fruity –

    Mount St Helens was satan’s doing?!?

    The haboob that stymied Operation Eagle Claw, satan?*

    The 1989 Loma Preita Earthquake & Hurricane Hugo**, satan?

    And what did your god to stop these works of satan, eh fruity?

    @@

    Dingo

    ——–

    * Instrumental in the defeat of (the very Christian) President Carter, and the election of the candidate, clearly, of satan

    ** total dead (US) 110, total cost (US) approx. 38.6 billion dollars (in 2013 dollars)

  • Hatchetfish

    Ethan: “Then, when the hurricanes hit, they’ll have to examine if maybe they were completely wrong about what causes weather.”

    Like hell they will. That’ll be the sign they need to go forth and purify the rest of the continent. Remember, Dog’s signs are there to tell you you’re right and the sinners should burn, always.

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    What’s so special about 1991?

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    I mean it was Ayrton Senna’s last F1 championship and all but still ..

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Also Bill Clinton pressured Israel’s Ehud Barak to give up land for peace in 200-2001 talks with Arafat. Much later than 1991. Brarak caved and offered the Palestinians almost everything they demanded in their most unrealistic ambit claim – but Yasser Arafat still turned it down and walked away without even a counter-offer. (So much for the Arab “Palestinians” actually just wanting a state of their own, huh?)

    Then Ariel Sharon gave up Gaza to fucking Hamas back in the mid 2000’s (gee that sure bought peace eh? NOT!) under his own steam entirely.

    Much later than 1991. Huh. Go figure.