Fischer: God Hates Looking at Gay Sex

Bryan Fischer says that God is so disgusted by gay sex that it “causes him to recoil,” just like he thinks all human beings do. But you really have to feel sorry for God if he doesn’t like gay sex because, being omnipresent, he has to watch it all the time. Apparently he isn’t nearly as disgusted by, oh I don’t know, people killing and raping one another.

httpv://youtu.be/dJSCsna6yk8

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Moggie

    See, God is exactly like me and agrees with me on everything. Also, God isn’t too keen on music today, has a bit of a paunch, and will totally join a gym… maybe next month.

  • matty1

    An omnipresent being recoiling could be tricky. He backs away to somewhere he already is while at the same time remaining in the place he is trying to get away from.

  • Chiroptera

    But you really have to feel sorry for God if he doesn’t like gay sex because, being omnipresent, he has to watch it all the time.

    Well, that could explain why he seems cranky all the time.

  • imrryr

    Being omniscient, God’s not only seen all the gay sex there ever has been and ever will be, but He presumably would’ve seen it all before He even created anything. You’d think He’d be used to it by now.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    This introduces a philosophical conundrum. Does being omniperceptive mean that you literally have to see everything, or can you choose not to see something?

  • Mr Ed

    #5 Reginald Selkirk: Just like elevator music or conversations in a crowded room I just tune out anything i ‘m not interested in.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Apparently he isn’t nearly as disgusted by, oh I don’t know, people killing and raping one another.

    On the contrary. The old guy really gets off on it (not really surprising he’s into porn, after all: no nookie for more than 6000 years!)

    Whatever the reason, he specifically commanded His people do do a lot of that killing and rape stuff.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    To be fair, regular sex is pretty gross, too, from the begging before to the stumbled mumbling during to the apologizing after. Or so I’ve heard. I’ve never had any problems with it. When I’m involved, it’s not sad or pathetic or comically bad or anything. Quite the able swordsman, I am. Ladies.

  • skinnercitycyclist

    With apologies to Peter Sellers, Jerzy Kosinski, and Hal Ashby:

    Dennis Watson: Ah, tell me, Mr. God… have you ever had sex with a man?

    God: No… I don’t think so.

    Dennis Watson: We could go upstairs right now.

    God: Is there a TV upstairs? I like to watch.

    Dennis Watson: You like to uh, watch?

    God: Yes.

    Dennis Watson: You wait right here. I’ll go get Warren!

  • Randomfactor

    Can’t we take up a collection and buy Him a Roku box?

  • Artor

    DC Sessions, you forgot about that well-publicized rape of a young virgin about 2000 years ago.

  • D. C. Sessions

    DC Sessions, you forgot about that well-publicized rape of a young virgin about 2000 years ago.

    Well, that was adultery too. She was not only betrothed, she was married.

  • raven

    God is all powerful. This means he can do anything!!!

    So why can’t god just…look away or not see it?

    Even little kids can change the channel. If god isn’t as competent as a little kid,….why call him god?

  • cptdoom

    You know, I have a deep, visceral, negative and, as far as I know, natural reaction to lady parts, at least the naughty ones. Sure, I can tell you when a woman is attractive (particularly when she’s fully clothed), but I am totally grossed out by the idea wanting to, you know, do it with a lady. I’ve always chalked that up to being gay, but apparently it really means that God hates straight sex. Thanks for clearing that up Bryan.

  • some bastard on the internet

    I guess this means that the best way to prevent hurricanes is to send as many gay people as we can to any area about to get hit, and have them start doin’ the nasty!

    After all, every time a hurricane or other natural disaster strikes, there’s always someone shouting, “GODDIDIT!!!!!” in the aftermath. Therefore, if God recoils, he won’t be there to send them.

    WHY ARE WE NOT FUNDING THIS!!!!!

  • busterggi

    God HAS to watch gay sex? There are twelve step programs for porn addiction but I guess Yahweh can’t join because he can’t admit tho a higher power.

  • John Pieret

    some bastard on the internet @ 15:

    WHY ARE WE NOT FUNDING THIS!!!!!

    I love it! We could call them “Gaybusters”:

    If there’s some hurricane in your neighborhood

    Who ya gonna call?

    GAYBUSTERS!

    If God’s all weird ‘n up to no good

    Who ya gonna call?

    GAYBUSTERS!

  • dugglebogey

    God is a latent homosexual?

    Wow, you really do learn something new every day!

  • forestdragon

    Sorry some bastard and John, you’re gonna have to share the shiny new Internet; I can’t afford two.

  • logicgrrl

    Bryan Fischer is soooo wrong! Here’s something from God himself:

    https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/god-loves-gays-billboard-project

  • moarscienceplz

    Me: “Why does God allow little children to die of cancer?”

    Xtian Fundie: “It must be part of God’s Plan. We mere humans are just not capable of understanding it.”

    Me: “Oh. Well, why are you so harsh to gay people?”

    Xtian Fundie: “Because God hates gay sex! It says so in the Bible.”

    Me: “The Bible also says you must not eat bacon.”

    Xtian Fundie: “God wasn’t serious about that bit.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    If an onmipresent being recoils, doesn’t that mean the place he is recoiling from ceases to exist?

  • freehand

    Reginald Selkirk says: This introduces a philosophical conundrum. Does being omniperceptive mean that you literally have to see everything, or can you choose not to see something?

    .

    So, to the question

    “Can God create a rock so heavy he can’t lift it?”

    we can add

    “Can God create something that he doesn’t have to be aware of?”

  • hexidecima

    hmmm, if God can know when to look away, then does he have to know the details? And golly, I sure would hate to need this god’s help and he’s chosen not to look. But, again, that seems to be happening since this god evidently intentionally ignores all of the vile behavior in its name. You’d think it would know what someone intended and zap them since the intent is just as bad as the act. Then no harm done and people still get damned! :)

  • lorn

    The selectivity of concern is, IMHO, related to simple optical effects; this closer to you an issue is the more important it seems. Fischer doesn’t consider rape or murder to be pressing problems because he he doesn’t have issues with that sort of behavior. Those issues are distant concerns at best. Like a lion seen from a great distance they are only potential dangers.

    Which raised the question of why Fischer is so concerned with, obsessed over, homosexuality. I suspect the issue is much closer to home.

  • Crudely Wrott

    God is so disgusted by gay sex that

    . . . perhaps it shouldn’t look?

    . . . it should reconsider the original design?

    . . . it should just give it up as a bad job and start over?

    Salient factor: they cannot decide. Dog’s wisdom has them buffaloed.

  • dragon

    @13 raven

    So why can’t god just…look away or not see it?

    From sometimes listening to Xian AM radio, I think I have the answer: You see according to those radio station programs it all is magical due to the Trinity (not the one from The Matrix), The Big Guy sees everything, and must punish sin. But if you believe The Little Guy donated some of his blood to the cosmic Red Cross, then The Little Guy will hide your sin from The Big Guy. So the Big Guy never sees it. In effect, being the Trinity allows cognitive dissonance in the extreme. One part of the three gets to know something, but can hide it from the other two just like it never happened. So they remain omniscient, but don’t know anything.

    And this explains why his followers are so enthralled of their personal cognitive dissonance. They are just following his example.

    So The Big Guy sure can look away. The Big Guy just needs the Invisible One of the three to block his view. She can view it and even enjoy it to her heart’s content. Because Three and Magic and because Fischer wants it that way! Or something. But Fischer, like the Invisible One, still knows the ghey sex exists somewhere. And Fischer just can’t stop thinking about those naked muscular bodies doing those things to each other. Because he hasn’t achieved a divine level of cognitive dissonance yet. So he has to, has to I say, think about it all the time. And he needs to warn us not to think of ghey sex. Fischer will think about it enough for all of us.