Klingenschmitt: Polis to Join ISIS and Behead Christians

Last weekend, bigoted moron and Republican state legislative candidate Gordon Klingenschmitt sent out an email to his followers accusing Rep. Jared Polis of wanting to join ISIS and start beheading Christians in Iraq and the United States. He’s now “apologized” for saying this:

“The openly homosexual Congressman Jared Polis (D-CO) introduced a revised bill to force Christian employers and business owners to hire and promote homosexuals with ZERO RELIGIOUS EXEMPTIONS for Christians who want to opt out.

“Polis ‘wants sexual orientation and gender identity treated the same way as race, religion, sex, and national origin, when it comes to employment protections,’ claims the Advocate, under the headline “Polis trims ENDA’s religious exemption.

“Dr. Chaps’ comment: The open persecution of Christians is underway. Democrats like Polis want to bankrupt Christians who refuse to worship and endorse his sodomy. Next he’ll join ISIS in beheading Christians, but not just in Syria, right here in America.”

After officials from both parties in Colorado condemned him for this, Klingenschmitt issued what may be the lamest notpology ever. After accusing Democrats of lacking a sense of humor over his “hyperbole” he issued a “personal apology” and then immediately tried to distract attention from it by having a bucket of ice water dumped over his head and challenging Polis to take the ice bucket challenge. Gordo, you aren’t fooling anyone.

httpv://youtu.be/onBpjGHFGxc

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About Ed Brayton

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

  • Abby Normal

    Klingenschmitt did the ice bucket challenge?! Okay, I admit I’m somewhat distracted from the his contemptible but, totally unsurprising, statement/nonpology about Polis. He’s the last person I’d expect to promote stem cell research. Now that’s news!

  • Chiroptera

    The openly homosexual Congressman Jared Polis (D-CO) introduced a revised bill to force Christian employers and business owners to hire and promote homosexuals with ZERO RELIGIOUS EXEMPTIONS for Christians who want to opt out.

    *sigh* Just like poor Hovind, a martyr to laws that force Christians to pay taxes with ZERO RELIGIOUS EXEMPTIONS for Christians who want to opt out.

    Next thing you know, Christians are going to be forced to obey speed limits!

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    The openly homosexual Congressman Jared Polis (D-CO)…

    Ick. What happened to my country? Am I the only one horrified by this? What happened to morality? It’s disgusting that Jarel Polis would publically admit that he’s a congressman.

  • http://anexerciseinfutility.blogspot.com tommykey

    I nominate Klingenschmitt for the Bowling Ball Bucket Challenge!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730511544 billdaniels

    He did the ice bucket challenge? And he didn’t melt? “What a world! What a world!”

  • busterggi

    “race, religion, sex, and national origin” in all fairness I’m sure Klingy would love to treat all of these in the same bigoted way he treats homosexuals.

  • cry4turtles

    The Youngstown diocese condemned the ice bucket challenge because of stem cell research, then they didn’t condemn it, then they just condemned the dollars that go to non-adult stem cell research, then they didn’t condemn those dollars. Now Saint Everything in Youngstown is doing the ice bucket challenge. I’m not sure WTF they’re condemning now?

  • rationalinks

    Ah Youngstown, my hometown. If it ain’t the mafia, it’s the church. Then again, I’ve always thought the church was a front for the mafia there.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    rationalinks “Then again, I’ve always thought the church was a front for the mafia there.”

    Now you’re just being ridiculous. It’s the other way around.

  • http://composer99.blogspot.ca composer99

    Come for Ed’s posts, stay for Modusoperandi’s comments.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Come for Ed’s posts, stay for Modusoperandi’s comments.

    Who’s “Ed?”

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    D. C. Sessions, Ed from Ed’s Posts, the internet’s third most popular fencing wholesaler, behind Barb Beyer’s Barbed Wire and James Hink’s Chain Link.

  • grumpyoldfart

    Gordo, you aren’t fooling anyone.

    On the contrary. I think he will have successfully fooled every single member of his audience.

  • howardhershey

    He could do the water board challenge. Just heard that ISIS has done this to prisoners under its control. Wonder what der Klingle thinks about that? And what he thought about it when Bush and the CIA were doing it?

  • vereverum

    re Abby Normal #1

    Klingenschmitt did the ice bucket challenge?! Okay, I admit I’m somewhat distracted from the his contemptible but, totally unsurprising, statement/nonpology about Polis. He’s the last person I’d expect to promote stem cell research. Now that’s news!

    I wonder if Polis will pick up on that. Might get some political mileage out of it.

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