Fischer: Jesus is the Strong Nuclear Force

There are few things more ridiculous than when ignorant fundamentalists start blabbering about science when they know absolutely nothing about it. Bryan Fischer provided a perfect demonstration of this on his radio show last week when he declared that scientists have no idea what holds the universe or atoms together and he has the answer: It’s Jesus.

“What’s keeping the universe together right now?” said Fischer on Friday. “It’s Jesus Christ.”

Fischer then began to read from the Bible’s book of Hebrews, “He upholds the universe by the word of his power,” and added, “So what’s keeping the universe from flying apart into fragments?”

“There is some magic force” in the physics of atoms and planetary bodies, he said. “Scientists don’t even know what it is, it’s called the strong force because it keeps the nuclei together. They don’t know what it is.”

“But we know who it is,” he continued. “Jesus Christ is the strong force that holds the universe by the word of his power.”

Sounds legit.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Childermass

    So this idiot is aping Jack Chick’s “Big Daddy” now?

  • David C Brayton

    What an idiot. Everyone knows that magnets hold the universe together. Duh.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Well, as a metaphor it’s an interesting one — the strong force has a range much smaller than a single atom and has a half-life of less than 10^-20 seconds.

    In other words, near enough to zero here and now as to be completely negligible.

  • Dunc

    C’mon – it’s got a light side, a dark side, and it binds the galaxy together: duck tape.

  • whheydt

    So…. Jesus is only effective over distances of 1 to 3 femtometers? No wonder prayer doesn’t work.

  • Alex

    It makes perfect sense though. The structure group of the strong force is SU(3), which surely stands for the trinity. At nuclear distances, because of asymptotic freedom (i.e., the salvation through christ), the force is effectively transmitted by bound states called pions, i.e. by the nucleus is held togeher by pure piety. Any questions?

  • boadinum

    #2 @ David C Brayton: No, no, no. Have you ever held two magnets with their opposite poles facing each other? They repel each other. This is what causes the universe to expand. The force that counteracts the expansion, and thus holds the universe together, is static cling. Duh yerself.

  • corwyn

    So, when he was dead? Nothing was holding the Universe together? Or he didn’t *really* die?

  • corwyn

    Should scientist discover what the strong force is, that will prove your religion false?

  • Kevin Kehres

    Um…why do you think the force has a name if they don’t know what it is? This isn’t Star Wars, you know.

  • colnago80

    If Yeshua ben Yusef of Nazareth is holding the universe together, he better do something about dark energy. Maybe dark energy is the work of Satan.

  • dugglebogey

    “It’s a series of tubes!”

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    And static electricity is the Holy Spirit. True story.

  • a_ray_in_dilbert_space

    5 and a half years colliding neutrons with nuclei to get my PhD in experimental particle physics, and not once did I see Jebus fly off and get caught in our detector!

  • Mr Ed

    If Jesus holds the universe together then Jesus is gravity. This really brings up a lot of science/theological questions. If we have a perpetually expanding universe does the mean Jesus isn’t all powerful? Should I get a bumper sticker that reads: Jesus is gravity and Newton is his prophet. If Jesus is gravity would God the father be electromagnetism and what would the holy spirit be. Is Satan dark matter or antimatter?

  • Loqi

    I now have a mental image of a teeny, tiny human, arms outstretched to the sides, holding a proton and a neutron together like a strongman holding the two pillars together in a world’s strongest man style competition.

  • eric

    The protons go in, the protons go out…you can’t explain that!

  • eric

    5 and a half years colliding neutrons with nuclei to get my PhD in experimental particle physics, and not once did I see Jebus fly off and get caught in our detector!

    To be fair, did you have any spectre-ometers set up?

  • briandavis

    So, when he was dead? Nothing was holding the Universe together?

    That’s when inflation happened.

  • Richard Smith

    It’s Fischer’s Grand Crucified Theorem.

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Dafuck!?

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    Its crackers and cheap red wine all the way down, eh?

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    I now have a mental image of a teeny, tiny human, arms outstretched to the sides, holding a proton and a neutron together like a strongman holding the two pillars together in a world’s strongest man style competition.

    That’s not as cool as my new theory:

    STRING THEORY JESUS

    Imagine, if jesus was like a little bitty invisible stretch armstrong with infinite stretch and super powers, and … um… oh, shoot, could you pass me the balloon again?

  • http://heb712.blogspot.com heddle

    #19,

    That’s when inflation happened.

    Nice.

    Oh, and why not the obvious use of the C in QCD?

  • John Pieret

    So, if I pray to Jesus, he can do something about the saggy elastic in my shorts?

  • bmiller

    colnago80: One of my favorite “progressive metal” bands, Hail Spirit Noir, has a song titled “Satan is Time” which posits Satan as inertia/time/the inevitable force that dissolves the universe. :)

    http://www.releaselyrics.com/b8d6/hail-spirit-noir-satan-is-time/

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    Actually, it is gravity that holds the universe together.

  • http://heb712.blogspot.com heddle

    Gregory in Seattle,

    Actually, it is gravity that holds the universe together.,

    Actually, it is gravity that is failing to hold the universe together, losing in a battle with dark energy.

  • Taz

    I love how these people talk about protons, neutrons, and the charges on particles like it’s just common sense. But the Strong Nuclear Force? That’s crazy talk!

  • D. C. Sessions

    5 and a half years colliding neutrons with nuclei to get my PhD in experimental particle physics, and not once did I see Jebus fly off and get caught in our detector!

    I may be going out on a limb here, but … was your detector cross-shaped? If not, that might explain it.

  • Larry

    Before scientists discovered how electromagnetism and the weak nuclear force worked, the answer, then, was, of course, Jesus!

    And, just recently, other scientists discovered how those rocks on the Racetrack playa in Death Valley moved. Wind and ice. Up until then, Jesus was pushing those rocks around.

    It seems as though, until mankind figured out how the mysteries of the natural universe work, Jesus was always responsible.

  • whheydt

    Re: Mr. Ed @ #15….

    The Holy Ghost would be the Weak Force.

    Strong Force? Maybe the FSM.

  • shadowspade

    @a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    “5 and a half years colliding neutrons with nuclei to get my PhD in experimental particle physics, and not once did I see Jebus fly off and get caught in our detector!”

    Well clearly you just didn’t do your experiments with enough sincerity and faith!

  • DaveL

    Actually, it is gravity that is failing to hold the universe together, losing in a battle with dark energy.

    When I got to the part of “So what’s keeping the universe from flying apart into fragments?”, my immediate thought was “I’m pretty sure it is flying apart into fragments. Really, really big fragments.

  • a_ray_in_dilbert_space

    OK, here’s a theory. Maybe Fisher asked whether we don’t know what holds nuclei together, and the response was “Jesus, Fisher!”

  • Synfandel

    “Jesus Christ is the strong force that holds the universe by the word of his power.”

    Holds the universe by the word of his power? What the hell is that supposed to mean?

  • whheydt

    Re: Synfandel @ #36….

    It means the Fisher is completely innocent of any knowledge of Physics…and his grasp of theology isn’t much better.

  • thebookofdave

    @whheydt #32

    The Holy Ghost would be the Weak Force.

    The entire Holy Trinity is the Weak Force, with the Holy Ghost carried by the Z-boson.

  • http://dontlinkmebro F [i’m not here, i’m gone]

    “There is some magic force” in the physics of atoms and planetary bodies,

    He’s talking about at least 3 forces: The aforementioned strong nuclear force, the electromagnetic force, and gravity.

    If these were equivalent, the universe flying apart would be the least of our worries.

  • Pingback: Bryan Fischer: The Strong Force is Jesus | WIMPs and Neutrinos()

  • Kevin Kehres

    This is very typical fundy: I don’t understand it, therefore “magic”.

  • joe321

    This is a dilemma for Fischer. Should he submit his findings to Nature or to Science?