John Rocker Gives Financial Advice

Former major league pitcher and all-around punchline John Rocker’s latest Worldnetdaily column purports to be financial advice, though it’s pretty much substance-free. Gee John, I should save money for retirement? Why didn’t I think of that? It’s also hilariously ironic, for reasons I’ll mention shortly.

But there’s one thing both professional athletes and recent college graduates do have the ability to do and that’s understanding the importance of being financially literate.

We don’t need to find humor in the 49ers signing with Wealthfront any more than we should consider forcing banks to be less parsimonious when it comes to lending to people with poor credit scores: We should be encouraging every American to be responsible with their earnings from whatever vocation they find themselves employed so they can save their money and see it mature through investing or by the miracle of compounding interest.

This is the key to creating healthy communities and cities, which in turn create a healthy state and nation.

But individuals – be they professional athletes, a plumber, an engineer, or a young feminist saddled with a mountain of debt that paid for her women’s studies degree (now working at Starbucks) – stuck in a never-ending cycle of paying interest on debt are not free to save money and are instead a slave to their financial mismanagement…

But scroll back up a few paragraphs and recall the incredible percentage of professional athletes who declare bankruptcy or are broke upon retirement and you’ll see a strange metaphor for the liberal belief in entitlement; individuals must always be prepared to accept the blame for their decisions.

Yes, of course. Liberals are to blame for rich people who don’t invest wisely. But wait…last time we saw John Rocker he was looking quite pathetic sitting behind a folding table in Cooperstown during the hall of fame induction weekend selling xenophobic t-shirts and raffle tickets for $5 for the opportunity to go to the bar drinking with him. But I’m sure that’s because he invested his money so wisely, not because he’s broke or anything. In related news, next week he’ll be giving a seminar on how not to be a bigoted, ignorant douchebag.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • oranje

    Great. Now I’ll go to Alan Greenspan for help with my curveball.

  • Alverant

    Conservatives believe in taking personal responsibility for one’s actions … unless they can blame liberals for them.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=730511544 billdaniels

    “The miracle of compound interest”?

    Magnets? Child’s play.

  • busterggi

    “a young feminist saddled with a mountain of debt that paid for her women’s studies degree (now working at Starbucks) ”

    Glad to see he’s keeping the image of the misogynistic jock alive.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    busterggi “Glad to see he’s keeping the image of the misogynistic jock alive.”

    He’s just mad because she makes him run the til.

  • eric

    We don’t need to find humor in the 49ers signing with Wealthfront any more than we should consider forcing banks to be less parsimonious when it comes to lending to people with poor credit scores

    What the heck is wrong with a company providing it’s employees with a benefit like this? The players, if they choose, get free financial advice from a company that now has an incentive not to cut and run/do a Madoff. Seems like a pretty good deal to all parties to me.

    Oh, that’s right. Rocker is like many conservatives – pro-free market as long as the market doesn’t offer any service he dislikes. When it does…socialism! He seems to think that the individual subcontrating a service out to someone else is not the individual having control over their choices.

    Seems to be a very wierd but somewhat common trope. A “change your own oil, paying someone to do it for you is communism” view of capitalism.

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    But I’m sure that’s because he invested his money so wisely, not because he’s broke or anything.

    I really am curious about this. Did Rocker invest his money wisely (or simply save it), or did he fritter it away? The google machine isn’t much help. One thing is for sure, he’s out there hustling for every penny (book deals, a stint on Survivor, and now the WND column). That’s not behavior you’d expect from a guy who earned several million and was good with money.

  • cjcolucci

    Maybe Rocker ought to talk to Lenny Dykstra.

  • http://mostlyrational.net tacitus

    Baseball Reference has Rocker earning $5 million in his time in the major leagues. While he wasn’t a highly sought after player for long, no doubt he must have had some lucrative endorsement deals before he blew everything up, so it’s probably safe to say he earned at least six to seven million dollars all told.

    Of course, he would have been expecting a long career, so probably spent a lot of it before he was done, but nonetheless, if he was a smart investor and lived within his means, he would still have at least a million or two in the bank left over right now, even 12 years later.

  • smrnda

    What Rocker is assuming (with no evidence) is that you can actually avoid debt and still live. If your earnings are less than your expenses (and eventually you run out of cheaper alternatives) there is no other option. People do not set their wages, nor do they set prices – those who do have a strong incentive to suck you into debt by giving you no other choice.

  • pamsmigh

    Rocker, like most right-wing spouters, makes two fundamental (and fundamentally incorrect) assumptions: that everyone can hold a job and that the job offers enough income for saving.

    “We should be encouraging every American to be responsible with their earnings from whatever vocation they find themselves employed ” – bad grammar too.

    They don’t, John. Some people just don’t have the skills to hold down a job. Not even a job cleaning up slop at a hospital. And some people can’t save from their pittance. No matter how much in your golden parachute, pull-yourself-up world, you might want that to be true.

    If we would peg corporate taxes to profits/payroll ratios and use the add’l income to offset the services of those who can either not hold a job, or not hold a job that pays above poverty, we’d be a long way out of the mess if inequality and “austerity” we’re in.

  • coffeehound

    “John Rocker gives financial advice”

    And tomorrow in our continuing webinar series, Cliven Bundy…” Let me tell you about the blacks- profiles in race relations”……

  • http://www.aquaticape.org anthrosciguy

    Remember, Rocker is the wuss who thinks he should have a right “to speak freely without fear of chastisement”.

    What a maroon.