Barton’s God is Going to Beat Us Up. Again.

If there is one refrain we hear constantly from the Christian right these days, it’s the claim that if we don’t adopt the policies they prefer, their big bad buddy is going to beat us all up. Here’s David Barton trotting out this moronic idea on his radio show for the 15 millionth time:

As Barton explained, God measures the righteousness of a nation “by the public policies they have and how well those policies conform to God’s standards.” Repeating his false claims about the non-discrimination ordinance passed last year in San Antonio, Texas, Barton warned that everyone in San Antonio, even those who opposed the ordinance, will now suffer “because the city has taken a position God cannot bless.”

Just as, in the Bible, all of Israel suffered because of the wickedness of Ahab and Jezebel, so too will everyone in America suffer for electing leaders who do not base public policy on the Bible, he added.

“Even the good guys had to go through the national judgment brought on by bad policies from national leaders,” Barton said. “Even if you disagree with those policies, even if you disagree with non-discrimination ordinances, if your city has one, God’s not going to be able to bless that.”

Oh, those poor Christians! They’re just collateral damage in God’s eternal war against freedom and equality. See, that’s why they should all move to Russia, where Putin is creating a Christian paradise where they can pummel those pesky gay people to their heart’s content. Because if they don’t, God is going to send floods and locusts and who knows what else and they could be hit too.

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  • D. C. Sessions

    Because if they don’t, God is going to send floods and locusts and who knows what else and they could be hit too.

    Mostly by tornados ripping up the Bible Belt. Well, that and droughts in the deep-red agricultural regions of the southern States.

  • busterggi

    Two millenia of empty threats does not make Yahweh credible.

  • Kevin Kehres

    But if you move to Russia, you’ll have to convert to Russian Orthodox. Otherwise, no borscht for you!

  • lofgren

    Empty threats? Have you read a newspaper recently? Clearly God is just toying with us, like a child plucking the legs off an ant. And the worst part is that he’s surrounded the entire planet with billions and billions and billions of miles of vacuum, so we can’t escape.

  • eric

    Just as, in the Bible, all of Israel suffered because of the wickedness of Ahab and Jezebel, so too will everyone in America suffer for electing leaders who do not base public policy on the Bible, he added

    Because collective punishment when you know who the guilty parties are is love, you know.

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    @ D.C. Sessions

    Mostly by tornados ripping up the Bible Belt. Well, that and droughts in the deep-red agricultural regions of the southern States.

    A-yup. That’ll teach those Marxist hippie libruls a thing or three. If God’s willing to do that to good Republican folk, just imagine what he might do people who really piss him off.

  • dingojack

    “Just as, in the Bible, all of Israel suffered because of the wickedness of Ahab and Jezebel, so too will everyone in America suffer for electing leaders who do not base public policy on the Bible, he added.”

    So the ‘Great White Whale’ was called “Jezebel”? Who knew?

    Dingo

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    How come Yahweh never seems to punish those nations where Christians are the minority?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Just as, in the Bible, all of Israel suffered because of the wickedness of Ahab and Jezebel, so too will everyone in America suffer for electing leaders who do not base public policy on the Bible, he added.

    I’m sorry. God is judging us all as unrighteous because of me. I’ve been meaning enact laws allowing and encouraging the mistreatment of homosexuals, I really have, but who has the time these days?

    When I get a chance, I’ll put forward my bill, the “Things I Don’t Like Are Bad Act of 2014”. Be patient. As St Reagan said, “Government isn’t the solution”. In my case, it’s the problem.

  • arakasi

    Just remember, boys and girls:

    Using the state to enforce God’s laws that relate to punishing people for having unapproved sex = GOOD

    Using the state to enforce God’s laws that relate to feeding the hungry, healing the sick, clothing the naked, and welcoming the stranger = BAD

  • howardhershey

    I noticed you said Russia rather than the equally (if not more) intolerant of gays Uganda. I presume that is because if there is one group that the right wing hates more than gays, its people with an unfortunate skin condition.

  • grumpyoldfart

    Barton must laugh when he counts up how many silly things he said each day, and how many dollars he was paid for saying them.

  • lamacher

    @dingojack: Ahab and Jezebel got a lot of bad press, from a writer just a little biased toward the local god. Secular scholars find that that reign was much better for Israel than most, before or after.

  • kantalope

    So did the big guy punish the US for having slavery or for getting rid of it. I can’t quite tell.

  • magistramarla

    Yeah, San Antonio is punishment for a liberal person alright – hellishly hot, horribly polluted and there’s no escaping wingnuts who are constantly praising jeebus and telling you “have a blessed day”. However, all of that has nothing to do with the non-discrimination ordinance.

    Since Julian Castro left town, I’m a bit worried that our new mayor will cave to the howls of those who were opposed to it and bring it up for a new vote or something that might undermine it. She has already killed our chances at light rail or a modern streetcar in town, thanks to the conservatives and their big oil backers. If you are like me, and unable to drive, it’s impossible to get around in this town.

    I simply can’t wait to escape from Texas!

  • cptdoom

    Hey Barton’s totally right, y’all! In Massachusetts they passed the same kind of law back in the 1990s and now every winter it’s bitterly cold and white stuff falls from the sky! It takes all the prayers of good Christians to stop the nightmare, and it usually doesn’t end until like April.

  • Michael Heath

    magistramarla writes:

    . . . there’s no escaping wingnuts . . . telling you “have a blessed day”.

    I’m increasingly being told to do this in meat world. I’m increasingly finding it: juvenile, cowardly, and disingenuous. I can’t perceive even one reason to consider this is a beneficial proclamation.

  • otrame

    Hey, magistramarla. Don’t be dissing my town.

    Although the hellishly hot part is true and the lack of light rail is true. And it is true that SA is very spread out and public transportation is not considered a priority because that only benefits all those poor people, most of whom are rather brown.

    Still, and quite seriously, I do love this town. Move to the northwest quarter. We have cookies. And remember San Antonio went firmly for Obama and is one of the bluest parts of the state. Like many other places with large minority population, the trick is to get out the vote.

    As for God’s displeasure, I think he won’t go for floods or droughts. We are in drought roughly all the time and (paradoxically) this part of Texas is the most flood-prone area in the US. We probably wouldn’t even notice if he sent us floods. We have a huge dam and a series of tunnels under the city to funnel flood water past downtown, so he would have to really exert himself to make much of an impression here. And besides, he’ll probably aim for SA and hit Dallas.

  • hexidecima

    still waiting here in southcentral PA for something to happen to Dover, PA as promised by various TrueChristian twits.

    and @#16/ White stuff falling from the sky? Oh noes, it’s the albino brain chiggers!

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    hexidecima, I wondered why you had two right arms.

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