Manning: Hubble Telescope Proves the Evils of The Gay

James David Manning, the utterly deranged pastor of the ATLAH World Missionary Church in Harlem, has yet another absolutely bizarre video message to his congregation, claiming that NASA has proven that being gay is evil and wrong and the Bible is right. Wha? Yep.

“The entire universe rebukes sodomy, it rebukes same-sex marriage, it rebukes man lying with man.”

Manning said that the Hubble Space Telescope and NASA’s Voyager spacecraft had looked into the universe and proved that “everything has an opposite.”

“As far as our scientists have been able to discover, everything has an opposite,” he shrugged. “There’s nothing in the universe that agrees with same-sex [marriage], there’s nothing in the universe that agrees with the Sodomites… The Sodomites can’t get a witness from anywhere in the universe except their own perverted testimony, nothing in the universe will agree with them. Everything in the universe says it must be male and female.”

Two words: asexual reproduction. Very common all over the planet. To say Manning isn’t very bright is an insult to not very bright people. But he sure can rant:

The pastor then explained that demons were convincing LGBT people that homosexuality was normal, which triggered a rant about how life was not created in the rectum.

“There is no life that will come out of a rectum!” he exclaimed. “You cannot produce life, it’s only death! There’s nothing in a rectum except waste, refuse and death!”

Manning continued: “And without the true, authentic creation that God has put in order, all Sodomites would die! Because there’s nothing but death and refuse in the rectum! No life can come out of the rectum! The rectum is designed to get rid of death and waste! It’s designed for that one purpose, and the Sodomites are cheering on and praising the rectum!”

“I mean, that’s demonic!”

httpv://youtu.be/CEfLdwsIS8Y

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • http://inmyunbelief.wordpress.com TCC

    “There is no life that will come out of a rectum!”

    I disagree. Manning seems to give birth to many ideas from that orifice.

  • Rasalhague

    …had looked into the universe and proved that “everything has an opposite.”

    Apart from gravity. You know, the force where mass is attracted to other mass?

    “There is no life that will come out of a rectum!” he exclaimed.

    But no shortage of arguments.

  • Chiroptera

    Manning said that the Hubble Space Telescope and NASA’s Voyager spacecraft had looked into the universe and proved that “everything has an opposite.”

    Do those opposites have goatees? ‘Cause Manning might be confusing Star Trek reruns with NASA science videos.

  • D. C. Sessions

    “There is no life that will come out of a rectum!” he exclaimed. “There is no life that will come out of a rectum!” he exclaimed.

    Dude sure ain’t no chicken farmer, that’s for sure.

  • http://Reallyawakeguy.blogspot.com somnus

    Bacteria are alive, and come out of the rectum. His argument is invalid.

  • John Pieret

    Thank goodness he isn’t obsessed with rectums!

  • lldayo

    The Pillars of Creation photo from Hubble seems to indicate God likes wieners.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    If God was okay with sodomy, He wouldn’t have made it so enjoyable!

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    He is right. The opposite of straight/”traditional” marriage is same-sex marriage. The universe demands opposites! It was inevitable!!

    And/or the opposite of gay marriage is lesbian marriage? Again, more opposites.

  • bushrat

    Manning is the type of person you want to knock down, sit on them, then make them slap themselves with their own hands while saying ‘”Quit hitting yourself, quit hitting yourself, quit hitting yourself.” until they start crying and wet themselves. That seems like the same level of maturity as his rants anyway.

  • busterggi

    “There is no life that will come out of a rectum!”

    Well it sure won’t come out of itdamnednearkilledhim.

  • chilidog99

    Tide comes in, tide goes out.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1017276335 Strewth

    But… sperm and urine…urethra…

  • eric

    “As far as our scientists have been able to discover, everything has an opposite,” he shrugged. “There’s nothing in the universe that agrees with same-sex [marriage],

    @2 nailed it. I’ll take “what is Gravity” for 200 please, Alex.

  • Larry

    It’s so cute when fundy nitwits dress up to play scientist.

  • elpayaso

    well, where do we get LAWYERS, then Reverend Smarty Pants Manning?

  • eamick

    It’s doubly absurd when you remember the Hubble Telescope is optical; photons have no antiparticles, so the very device he claims proves everything has an opposite works using something that disproves his claim.

  • tsig

    A man in love with his own rectum.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    ck “…photons have no antiparticles”

    They do. Where do you think dark comes from?

  • Kevin Kehres

    Oh Modus…that’s bad, even coming from you.

  • Kevin Kehres

    Can someone please report this guy to his 8th grade science teacher so they can retroactively fail him?

  • Michael Heath

    Modusoperandi is a damn genius.

  • http://www.jafafahots.com Jafafa Hots

    He’s at least demonstrated the opposite of knowledge.

  • chris69

    The idiot is forgetting hermaphroditic species as well as asexual reproduction. Oh wait how can he forget something he probably never learned.

  • dingojack

    Manning – two words for you: Hawking Radiation.

    Dingo

  • birgerjohansson

    “There is no life that will come out of a rectum!”

    .

    Birds

    Reptiles.

    Fish.

    Amphibians.

    Monotremes (platypus).

  • birgerjohansson

    NASA’s Voyager spacecraft has looked into the solar sytem… the rest of the universe, not so much.

  • dingojack

    Of course he has it ass-backward, quite a lot of life on earth comes from the anus, including humans.

    Dingo

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Manning said that the Hubble Space Telescope and NASA’s Voyager spacecraft had looked into the universe and proved that “everything has an opposite.”

    So the opposite of a star is .. ?*

    The opposite of a galaxy is .. ?**

    The opposite of a planet is?***

    Even if true – and it isn’t dafuck has that gotta do with sodomy which is practiced by many hetero couples as well?

    * Binary stars pair up even near-identical spectral types – Spica + , Capella ++, Hadar / Agena (Beta Centauri)+ and Acrux+ et tu Alpha Crucis!?

    + Spica = Pair of blue giant stars. Alpha Virginis FWIW. Ditto Hadar except that’s the second of the “Pointers” to the Southern Cross and Acrux is a stellar foursome – heavenly polyamory for the win!

    ++ Pair of yellow giant stars similar spectral class to our sun but much bigger and more massive – and a pair of red dwarfs orbiting it as well if memory serves. (Might be thinking of Castor there tho.)

    ** Andromeda and our Milky Way are attracted to each other are falling together and will one day combien as Milkomeda. Our galaxy is gay?! Lesbian even considering its connection with breasts (Heras’) and Andromeda’s mythical gender?

    *** Planets perturb other planets orbits – and like it! Jupietrand Sturn swing Neptune and yes, Uranus, waaay out of position early in our solar systems history! Our biggest planets are swingers! Teh Horreur, teh horreur!

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Dangnabbit! Italics closing bracket fail. Guess y’all an figure out where there.

    Also checked and, yup, Capella is a stellar “same sex” metaphorical foursome as well :

    Two yellow giants paired with two red dwarfs!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capella#Companion_binary

    Kinky eh?

  • StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Goshdurnnit! Missed the opportunity to write in # 29 that early our solar system Jupiter and Saturn (maybe Neptune too!) had their way with Uranus in a planetary threesome! (Or moresome!)

    Plus how could I leave out all the binary asteroids like 1998 WW31 out beyond Neptune’s orbit :

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1998_WW31

    Plus Jovian trojan asteroid 617 Patroclus itself named for Achilles male lover and so many others, incl. Rosetta’s cometary companion Churyumov -Gerasimenko and … ewell there all those moons too all tidally locked and thus permanently presenting their backsides to their various planetary partners as well!

    (Ju-ust a few double entrendres possible there, yeah? Esp. given what “moon” is slang for!)

    Oh &, yeah, bye-the-bye Mr Manning Voyager II was incidentally a twin to a companion spacecraft Voyager I that it worked very closely with as well!

    Spose I’m giving this silliness more rebuttal than it really deserves here but oh well. Manning can blow it out his arse!

  • http://Www.metalmischief.com YOB – Ye Olde Blacksmith

    “Everything has an opposite”???

    So what is the opposite of an apple?

  • greg1466

    To be fair, the Reverend Manning is a fine example of being the opposite of quite a few things. Rational, intelligent, reasonable, enlightened, moral…

  • thebookofdave

    No life can come out of the rectum!

    There are no apparent signs of life upstairs, Pastor Manning. It’s okay to pull your head out of your rectum.