Satanist vs Satanist in Michigan

As someone who finds either brand of satanist to be mostly annoying, I’m going to enjoy watching two groups of satanists in Michigan battle it out. It’s the Satanic Temple vs the Temples of Satan in a fight over who is the most authentic satanists. And I had no idea there was such a thing as a Tea Party satanist.

The Rev. Tom Erik Raspotnik, 49, of Oxford decries the Satanic Temple’s atheism and progressive ideals. He said his Temples of Satan honors the deity of Satan, and he and others with him are pro-life and believe in animal sacrifices.

“I would be like a tea party Satanist,” Raspotnik said, adding that he has participated in tea party events, but that people at the events might not have known he worships Satan.

So the Temples of Satan are actual Satanists, believing that there is a deity called Satan and worshiping him. The Satanic Temple are just atheists whose parents didn’t get upset enough when they told them they were atheists, so they decided to wear pentagrams and play pretend to get the attention they wanted. And then there’s the Church of Satan, which doesn’t recognize any other group:

Even the Church of Satan, claiming thousands of members worldwide, is quick to distance itself from the Satanic Temple, despite agreement on atheism, individualism and affinity for pentagrams.

“We see nothing of value in the actions of this handful of individuals,” High Priest Magus Peter Gilmore of the Church of Satan said in an e-mail.

He also said the Church of Satan only applies the term “Satanist” to itself; the others are called “devil worshipers or demonolators, not Satanists,” Gilmore said in the e-mail.

Personally, I have little use for any of them. If you actually worship a deity you call Satan, you’re just another religion. If you’re an atheist, calling yourself a satanist is just an annoying plea for attention. Just be an atheist, for crying out loud. So I’m just gonna pop the popcorn and watch them lob verbal bombs at each other.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • bushrat

    SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!! It’s the Battle of the Century!!! Two Dark Lords will battle it out for the right to be the All-Time Heavyweight Champion of Darkness!!! That’s right, it’s Satan vs Satan. One’s a smarmy, belligerent drama queen that likes preforming rituals in Oklahoma involving pee and naked women. The other is a super-cereal politic activist that loves babies, animal sacrifice and is involved with the tea party. So, come on down to the Metroplex this SUNDAY for the Revel with the Devil. MISS IT IF YOU DAARRRREEEE!!! Kids get in at half price.

  • busterggi

    I thought the Council of Nicea was supposed to have prevented this sort of thing.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    To be fair, all these schisms and sectarian/denominational infighting prove it’s a real religion.

  • raven

    …And I had no idea there was such a thing as a Tea Party satanist.

    You need to get out more. AFAIKT, almost all of the Tea Partyists are functionally satanists.

    There isn’t much difference between fundie xianity and satanism.

    Based on hate. check

    Based on lies. check.

    Worship a Monster god. check

    Practice human child sacrifice by medical neglect and torture murder check

    The main diffrerence is that satanism more or less doesn’t exist while there are tens of millions of fundie xians. Most satanist groups are atheistic and mostly seem to call themselves satanists to rattle the xians.

    The Rev. Tom Erik Raspotnik, 49, of Oxford decries the Satanic Temple’s atheism and progressive ideals. He said his Temples of Satan honors the deity of Satan, and he and others with him are pro-life and believe in animal sacrifices.

    “I would be like a tea party Satanist,” Raspotnik said,

    Looks exactly like a fundie xian who just substituted the word satan for god.

  • Larry

    I went to a satanic black mass and a Monty Python Life of Brian skit broke out.

  • Mr Ed

    ‘Judean People’s Front’. We’re the People’s Front of Judea! ‘Judean People’s Front’.

  • John Pieret

    I’m just gonna pop the popcorn and watch them lob verbal bombs at each other.

    Wake me when they decide to settle it with nude mud wrestling.

  • eric

    Sounds like sour grapes to me. The ToS is getting press attention because they are actually doing social activism, such as handing out pamphlets in Orange Co., FL. IMO the other two groups are making a stink about the ToS not being satanic enough because they’re jealous.

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    If you want to cheese off all of the groups, just point out that they are nothing more than a Christian heresy.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    Nooooobody expects the satanist inquisition!!

  • dhall

    Sounds like battling Christian denominations, different versions of Islam hating each other, etc. I agree with Modusoperandi.

  • Richard Smith

    So I’m just gonna pop the popcorn and watch them lob verbal bombs at each other.

    Sounds like a very devil-may-care attitude…

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    @ Mr. Ed

    ‘Judean People’s Front’. We’re the People’s Front of Judea! ‘Judean People’s Front’.

    Splitters!

  • Chiroptera

    As someone who finds either brand of satanist to be mostly annoying….

    I don’t see Satanists electing officials to local, state, and national offices and using these offices to enact irrational policies that hurt people, nor have I heard of all that many kids who’ve died because their Satanist parents denied them medical treatment, so I guess I don’t find them all that annoying myself. On the other hand, I don’t know any Satanists personally, so that might make a difference.

  • cjcolucci

    Disappointing. There doesn’t seem to be a man of wealth and taste in the lot.

  • Leo T.

    I dunno, I can respect the Satanic Temple to the degree that they essentially use religious-themed trolling as a means of protecting the Establishment and Free Exercise Clauses.

  • steve78b

    Well, Leo T, you really must have some sympathy for the devil.

    Steve in OK

    …….. couldn’t get tickets for the Black Mass of Oklahoma….. try again…

  • steve78b

    Sorry, commented to the wrong commenter….

    Meant to say ….cjcolucci. Who may or may not have sympathy for the devil.

    Steve

  • robertrichter

    I find that certain Satanists serve as a useful foil against those pushing to integrate Christian rituals into public life.

    Atheists don’t have rituals, but Satanists do, and they’re offensive to Christians.

  • frankb

    Lions don’t molt!

    Yeah, but Satanists do.

  • Crudely Wrott

    Satanic Temple vs the Temples of Satan.

    Imagine someone in a black robe trying to out flank their reflection in a mirror in an unlit room in a coal mine at midnight.

    Heh! Throw ’em all in a Hall of Mirrors at the county fair and let the Viper* sort ’em out.

    ________

    *Der Vindow Viper; you vant you vindows viped, ya?

  • dingojack

    What I want to know is who’s going to stop these terrible Satanists, The Judean People’s Front or The People’s Front of Judea*?

    Dingo

    ———

    * pikers!

  • martinrundkvist

    Could someone with a bit of theological insight please tell me — what is worse from a fundamentalist Christian point of view, worshiping Satan or not believing Satan even exists?

  • skinnercitycyclist

    I guess I must be the one missing something here. I fail to understand Ed’s disdain for Satanists. They are clearly a satirical “religion” along the lines of the FSM, only more so in that they go right to the heart of Xian fear and superstition. None of the statements or acts I have heard attributed to them smacks of anything but world-class trolling of Xians. You want a Ten Commandments monument? OK, we will have a statue of Satan with a lap children can sit on. Perfect.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=523300770 stuartsmith

    I’m curious about the ‘thought’ process that leads from “Satan is real, and worthy of worship” to “abortion is wrong.”

  • lofgren

    I’m sure both breeds of Saganist would agree that Satanism implies a wider breadth of principles than mere atheism. Much as one can be a humanist and an atheist, one can be both an atheist and a Satanist. My beef with Satanism is its high (anecdotal) correlation with libertarianism. That’s less a beef with the philosophy itself and more with the people who are attracted to it I guess, though there are some unavoidable points of similarity. Much like skinnercity above, I have never understood why Ed is so disdainful of what is basically a satire of Christianity. You can argue it’s not particularly funny, but that’s really just a matter of taste.

  • cjcolucci

    martinrundkvist@23

    I don’t know much theology, but that eminent theologian Keyzer Soze said the Devil’s greatest trick was convincing people he didn’t exist.

  • Michael Heath

    cjcolucci writes:

    I don’t know much theology, but that eminent theologian Keyzer Soze said the Devil’s greatest trick was convincing people he didn’t exist.

    Which is of course funny. But I’ve also found it particularly funny because it’s a disingenuous circular argument. That’s a rare sighting; I find most to be both boring and moronic.