Klayman Wants to Nuke ISIS

Larry Klayman, the dumbest lawyer in American not named Mat Staver, can always be counted on to be calm and rational in his approach to public policy. Case in point: He thinks ISIS is going to kill us all if we don’t drop nuclear weapons on them.

Let us finally face it and stop pussyfooting around. We are in a religious war! In the end, it is either them or us. If we intend to have any chance of survival, it is also time that we face reality. Either we kill these radical Muslim ISIS cockroaches – all of them – before they spread like cancer and infest the globe, or in time they will kill all of us.

Gotta love the baseless paranoia. I’d love to hear some plausible explanation for how 30,000 people who are hemmed in even by their fellow Muslims (Kurds hate them, so do the Iranians, and Saudi Arabia is terrified of them) are going to spread across the globe and kill us all.

It is survival time, boys and girls. No time for the weak at heart. God understood this when he sent a plague to kill the Egyptians, allowing Moses to flee with his enslaved people for the Promised Land. God acted similarly when he destroyed the Roman Empire and the Jewish high priests after they conspired to crucify his Son. How can we humans, with the divine grace and guidance of the Father and his Son, act differently under these dire circumstances?

Wait, what? The Roman empire was only a few decades old when Jesus was around and after his death it became far larger and more powerful and prosperous. It was about 450 years later that the Western Roman empire fell and another 1000 years before the Eastern part ended. In fact, it didn’t fade away until after it had become officially Christian under Constantine. Those who ignore history are doomed to sound like morons when they write about it.

Indeed, in taking on the Muslim caliphate, now being spearheaded by ISIS, we need to take a lesson from President Harry Truman in ending World War II. Showing real grit and leadership, Truman and his advisers correctly concluded that even if thousands of Japanese civilians had to be sacrificed in dropping atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, this seemingly unthinkable strategy would save countless lives in the end. And, not just the lives of U.S. servicemen who were then fighting in the Pacific theater, but by bringing the war to a close quickly also countless Japanese lives as well.

Had “W” and Dick Cheney similarly authorized the use of tactical nuclear weapons on the Taliban in the days following Sept. 11, not only would Osama bin Laden had been killed many years earlier, but the United States could have wiped out this terrorist group completely and we would not be faced today with its resurgence. And, as importantly, we would have taught the Muslim enemy and our adversaries around the world – including but not limited to the Nazi-like Russian President Vladimir Putin and Islamic Iranian leaders – a strong lesson. Namely, attack the United States and its people, and we will wipe you out, period. Instead, Bush and Cheney decided to respond in kind, and we see the results today. Notwithstanding the Muslim president’s traitorous acts furthering the planned Islamic caliphate over the last six years, Bush and company sowed the seeds that Obama then exploited to further the insidious plans of his Middle Eastern Muslim brothers to again enslave Jews and now Christians to a world where Shariah law rules the school under the devilish hand of their god, Allah.

Their god doesn’t exist, Larry. Neither does yours. And it’s the very same non-existent god, by the way. As for nuking ISIS, doing so would also kill off most of the people being oppressed by them, all in the name of stopping this ridiculous, paranoid narrative in your head.

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  • busterggi

    Now why do Christian Dominionists hate Sharia law? Its the exact same set of laws they want to enact in the alias of the supposedly same god.

  • keithb

    The Roman Empire was a few decades old? The Punic wars lasted many decades before 100 BC. One could argue that the Empire existed at least by then.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    To be fair, it probably sounded better in the original German.(*1)

     

    As for nuking ISIS, doing so would also kill off most of the people being oppressed by them…

    Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius.*

     

    *1. h/t Mollie Ivins.

    *2. h/t SLC/colnago80.

  • eric

    Had “W” and Dick Cheney similarly authorized the use of tactical nuclear weapons on the Taliban in the days following Sept. 11, not only would Osama bin Laden had been killed many years earlier, but the United States could have wiped out this terrorist group completely and we would not be faced today with its resurgence

    Had they done that, we would’ve looked like completely incompetent assholes and made a bunch of the country uninhabitable for no good reason, since Osama wasn’t in Afghanistan, he was in Pakistan.

    Secondly, this guy seems to have about the same grasp of nuclear weapons capabilities as colnago “an Iranian nuke could take out all of Israel’s armed forces and so cannot be tolerated” SLC. A nuke takes out a maybe a couple of square miles in terms of direct damage. Afghanistan is 252,000 square miles. We could not get him with nukes any more than we could get him with conventional explosives, and for the exact same reason – because we would have to know where he was first, and we didn’t.

    Lastly, the success of ISIS has very little to do with our strategy or success in Afghanistan and pretty much everything to do with Bush’s decision to topple Saddam Hussein. Remember him? The (autocratic dictator) not harboring WMD and not promoting terorrism but rather suppressing it within his borders?

  • bryanfeir

    The Roman Empire was a few decades old? The Punic wars lasted many decades before 100 BC. One could argue that the Empire existed at least by then.

    Well, presumably he’s differentiating the Roman Empire (after Julius Caesar’s coup in 49-48 BC) from the Roman Republic that preceded it. Actually, Wikipedia puts the demarcation between Republic and Empire at 27 BC, when Octavian/Augustus managed to get the Senate to pretty much grant him full dictatorial powers.

  • jws1

    And now we’re gonna find out if SLC has the balls to try to out-snark Modus.

  • Mr Ed

    #2 keithb

    I was taken aback by that also. I think Rome became an empire when it was ruled by an emperor starting in 27 BCE before that it was a militaristic republic.

  • jws1

    Also, love how vaporizing old men, women and children saves countless lives of old men, women and children.

  • John Pieret

    It was about 450 years later that the Western Roman empire fell and another 1000 years before the Eastern part ended.

    The mills of God grind slowly …

    keithb:

    The Roman Empire was a few decades old? The Punic wars lasted many decades before 100 BC. One could argue that the Empire existed at least by then.

    Well, it called itself a republic up until Augustus was proclaimed emperor, though it was never more than an oligarchy, and Julius Caesar was an emperor-in-fact before Augustus.

  • http://aceofsevens.wordpress.com Ace of Sevens

    He’s not even right about Japan. There’s little evidence they surrendered because fo the nukes. It’s more the war became unwinnable and they knew they could surrender to the US or wait for the USSR to invade and surrender to them. This actually would a be great anti-Communist narrative, and an honest one, but right-wingers would rather go for the pro-nuke lie.

  • alexmcdonald

    Completely OT but about the new site.

    My McAfee is going crazy every time I load the main page http://www.patheos.com/blogs/dispatches with a Torjan warning for Exploit-SWFPoP. Anyone else seen that?

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    @ busterggi

    Now why do Christian Dominionists hate Sharia law? Its the exact same set of laws they want to enact in the alias of the supposedly same god.

    Fatwa-envy. ISIS is succeeding where the Dominionists are still struggling.

  • dhall

    Augustus was never proclaimed emperor, as he did not want to suffer the same fate as his stepfather. He went to great lengths to make it appear that he was restoring the republican form of government, actually, once he defeated Marcus Antonius and Cleopatra VII. He was given the authority of a tribune–which gave him the authority to bring legislation before the Senate as well as arrest any public official, and the Senate gave him the governorship of several provinces (which gave him command of most of the military). He was also given imperium since he served as consul before–which gave him the right to command the military, assemble the people, and legally carry out executions. Then he resigned his temporary dictatorship, and was known from then on as the Princeps, or First Citizen. It was largely a carefully constructed fiction, as he was emperor in every way but name. However, the Senate was packed with men who had either served Julius Caesar (who was never officially proclaimed emperor either, but only temporary dictator in the old Roman sense), or his own allies. All he would allow was the deification of Julius Caesar and the Senate changing his name from Octavian to Augustus. The process from temporary dictator to Princeps went from around 31 to 27 BCE. His own stepson, Tiberius, would be the first one actually proclaimed emperor.

    I took lots and lots of Roman history in grad. school, and I’ve taught lots of classes taught since then.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    Bit OT, but all this talk of the decline and fall of the Roman Empire comes while I’m reading it, Gibbons I mean*, and just last night I came across a great passage “The various modes of worship, which prevailed in the Roman world, were all considered by the people, as equally true; by the philosopher, as equally false; and by the magistrate as, equally useful.”

    _____________________

    *Not to be confused with Rome’s ‘Decline and Fall of the Gibbon Empire’

  • colnago80

    Hey, apparently Putin want’s to get in on the action. Maybe we can induce him to drop a couple of Tsar bombes on the ISIL.

    http://goo.gl/qgmy57

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    jws1 “And now we’re gonna find out if SLC has the balls to try to out-snark Modus.”

    Good luck to him with that. He can arm himself with whatever rhetorical weapon whatever he wants; I already brought out Latin. It’s a language complete made of Harry Potter spells.

  • Chiroptera

    Ace of Sevens, #10:

    And I’ve always suspected that the decision by US officials to drop the bombs wasn’t “to save lives” but to get Japan to surrender before the Soviets invaded and “cheat” us out of our “rightful” spoils.

  • Chiroptera

    Heh. ISIS delenda est.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    …and anyway we don’t want too many Modioperandi, do we?

  • John Pieret

    dhall; That’ll teach me to go by memory … at my age!

  • dhall

    #17 – Chiroptera: Getting Japan to surrender probably had to do with the knowledge that Stalin was already reneging on the agreements he made with the the US and UK over the political restoration of the Eastern European states, especially Poland, but other states too. The Cold War was already getting underway by then, so Truman wanted the USSR to stay out of Japan–you’re right about that–but the reasons didn’t have much to do with spoils of war. Soviet troops moved into Manchuria anyway.

    #20 – John Pieret – sorry; I can get carried away sometimes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    There was no way W and Darth Cheney were ever going to nuke Northern Iraq. What, and contaminate all of that beautiful oil?

  • Alverant

    It’s people like Klayman who gives credibility (and thus help) to the islamic extremists like ISIS when they say the West wants to destroy islam.

  • alanb

    Does Obama have enough nukes to wipe out ISIS, the Taliban and al Qaeda, and still have enough left over to use on American citizens?

  • magistramarla

    d hall @ 13

    Brava! I often used the exact some argument that you so eloquently wrote when my students would try to tell me that Julius Caesar was the first emperor of the Roman Emperor. They told me that they were repeating what they had been taught by a middle school history teacher – bah!

    Chiroptera @18

    Brava to you too! I love it!

    If I were still teaching, I would steal this.

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Klayman is another one of those guys who apparently never considers the idea that if America starts using nukes, so will the other guys, treating US usage as permission.

  • CJO, my other shoes are Verbal Jackboots

    His own stepson, Tiberius, would be the first one actually proclaimed emperor.

    Imperator really only ever meant “one with imperium“. As I understand it, Augustus certainly used the title, and it was conferred by the Senate in a sense, as they gave him imperium in the first place and never took it back. The difference with Tiberius wasn’t so much the formal granting of the title, but that explicitly granting it in perpetuity was taken to mark the accession to princeps starting with him. Before that, as you note, there was no established position to accede to, and after that imperium became for the first time the exclusive power of one person.

    The issue as I see it isn’t really the exact form of government or the associated titles; the Republic certainly governed an empire, and had since achieving hegemony over the entire Italian peninsula in the 3rd c. BC. But whatever, the traditional cut-off is the end of republican government in anything but name, and traditionally that happened at the accession of Octavian to princeps.

  • dingojack

    ” Either we kill these radical Muslim ISIS cockroaches – all of them – before they spread like cancer and infest the globe, or in time they will kill all of us.”

    I’ll take mixed metaphors for $100 thanks Alex.

    Dingo

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1246980039 caseyboucher

    First, I was hoping that you’d cover this. For all the scary rhetoric coming from the wingnut fringe, the notion that the rise of a relatively toothless group of extremists with no strategically-significant power projection capability warrants taking hundreds of thousands of innocent lives is among the scariest.

    Second, and I say this only out of nit-picking, Constantine did not make Christianity the official religion of the Roman Empire, that was done by Theodosius I about 50 years after Constantine died.

  • birgerjohansson

    Dingojack,

    Someone lease tell him that natural obstacles like oceans usually stop cancers from taking that 8000-mile leap. Unless the cancers learn to fly planes.

    .

    “Muslim ISIS cockroaches”

    I read that as “mutant ISIS cockroaches” which would be a much more formidable threat. Remember that old B-film, “Them!” ?

  • birgerjohansson

    “the Muslim caliphate” ended once and for all after the fall of Baghdad to the Mongols and the crushing of the western caliphate under the pressure of hispanic states.

    .

    BTW, is there any way to use stupidity to power generators to produce electricity? Then we won’t need Middle East oil anymore.

  • laurentweppe

    Now why do Christian Dominionists hate Sharia law? Its the exact same set of laws they want to enact in the alias of the supposedly same god.

    Because they fear that under Sharia Law, all the wealth and power would end up concentrated in the hands of a few inbred brown-skinned aristocrats of arabic descent instead than in the hands of a few inbred white-skinned aristocrats of european descent as Jesus intended.

    ***

    Lastly, the success of ISIS has very little to do with our strategy or success in Afghanistan and pretty much everything to do with Bush’s decision to topple Saddam Hussein.

    Toppling Saddam Hussein was not it itself the cause of ISIS emergence:

    It was toppling him at a time when his subjects

    Plus

    Doing so a mere decade after The Very Same People had refused to tople him while a bona fide rebellion against his regime was begging the West for help.

    Plus

    Doing so for transparently despicable reasons (daddy issues plus plundering the country resources plus finding pretenses for giving more corporate welfare handouts to Cheney’s parasitic buddies

    Plus

    Using even more transparent lies to justify it.

    Plus

    Doing it at a time when anti-arabic racism and it’s pseudo-intellectual pretense islamophobia was on the rise in Europe and Northern America*

    Plus

    Becoming the de facto patrons of a sectarian revanchist government hellbent on settling the score with the social and ethnic group which used to be favored by Saddam’s regime.

    Plus

    cravenly hiding in a fake neutrality regarding the Assad regime even when it became clear that it was deliberately allowing the fundie faction to grow in Syria so its Hezbollah-funding dynast could present himself as a recourse against islamist fundamentalism (yeah, this one is not on the GOP’s head, although I seriously doubt they would have done any better had they been in charge)

    which helped kickstart and fuel ISIS.

    _____

    *And you can bet that the murderous bullshit spewed by Klayman and his ilk will at one point or another be used by ISIS propagandists: “See? We told you they want to exterminate us!” they’ll say “We were Right to wage war against them and their lackeys!”: genocidal discourses like Klayman’s (or Cass’, or Harris’) create way more would-be jihadists than fundie clerics’ and preachers’ rhetoric.

  • laurentweppe

    It was toppling him at a time when his subjects

    Screwed up my copy pasting one again: you should read:

    It was toppling him at a time when his subjects were not actively rebelling against him

  • dingojack

    Laurent – one could argue that preventing democratic processes from producing local leaders with broad support (for fear they’d nationalise resources, waterways and etc. and hurt western interests), plus the habit of western powers of putting the weakest (and therefore most pliable) faction with the smallest support base in charge (in addition to the points you mentioned above) set the, almost inevitable, course for the rise of ISIL-like groups in the aftermath of the overthrow of ‘our S.O.B’ .

    Dingo

  • jnorris

    Does Mr Klayman want Pres Obama to nuke the Mega-ISIS Muslim Army hiding at the Texas and Arizona / Mexico borders? Would doing so mutate the ebola virus they all have into something that only kills White American True Christian Males ™?