Gheen: Terrorists Not Attacking Because They Love Obama

William Gheen, the virulently racist head of the Americans for Legal Immigration PAC, has a rather bizarre theory for his followers (who are the type that really go for bizarre theories). He’s just sure that terrorists are pouring through the Mexican border, but they’re not attacking because — wait for it — they just love what Obama is doing.

William Gheen, president of Americans for Legal Immigration PAC or ALIPAC, said Babeu is just the latest in a long line of sheriffs growing increasingly frustrated by the federal government’s lack of interest in border security.

“Here you have a sheriff trying to do his job with no support,” said Gheen. “Large numbers of terrorists have already exploited the inadequate patrol of our borders, and the reason they are not attacking us is because they are so pleased with the way things are going under President Obama.”

Gheen said he believes thousands of potential terrorists have entered the country but are not attempting any attacks because they are quite happy with current policies coming out of the White House and the feeble Republican leadership.

“If there were another 9/11 style attack, it would increase the public pressures to secure the border. Illegal immigration and Obama are doing more to destroy America than any terrorist attack could ever hope to achieve, so why would any terrorist want to upset what is already happening?” Gheen asked. “The cartels are the same. We know there are thousands of cartel members all around us in America, but they’re not killing in the volumes they do in Central and South American because their agenda is proceeding and they are harvesting billions of dollars of wealth in America by turning our children into addicts of their chemical weapons, primarily cocaine and methamphetamine.”

You see, we know they’re here because Obama wants them here (to launch a terrorist attack that will allow him to declare himself dictator, I’m sure). And the fact that we can’t find them and they’re not actually doing anything is because they love Obama so much. Makes perfect sense.

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  • http://anexerciseinfutility.blogspot.com tommykey

    Yeah, wingnuts always win.

    If we have a mass casualty terrorist attack in this country during Obama’s presidency, it’s because Obama’s weak and emboldened the terrorits.

    If we don’t have a mass casualty attack in this country during Obama’s presidency, it’s because the terrorists support him.

  • John Pieret

    The voices in Gheen’s head must be terribly distracting … given all the empty space they can echo around in.

  • Loqi

    Ah yes, the terrorists just love what we’re doing. That’s why they’re always holding pro-America rallies, holding “life to America” signs, and spontaneously bursting into “USA! USA!” chants.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    To be fair, during his initial presidential campaign, Obama did promise “A chicken in every pot and a Muslin under every bed”.

  • alanb

    To be fair, during his initial presidential campaign, Obama did promise “A chicken in every pot and a Muslin under every bed”.

    Oh, dear. I thought he promised pot for every chicken and I ran out and bought a chicken farm.

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    So Gheen is essentially saying, “Vote for the GOP, get another 9/11”? I hope his followers really believe that, so long as they think it would be a bad thing for another 9/11.

  • eric

    So…these southern sherrifs are growing increasingly frustrated because they can’t arrest people who haven’t done anything? That actually sounds about right.

    And I’m sure Osama Bin Ladin isn’t attacking because he’s pl…oh wait.

  • grumpyoldfart

    It’s easy to understand the lone madman inventing conspiracy theories. The really puzzling thing is the number of not-quite-so-mad people who take the theories on board and run with them.

  • D. C. Sessions

    And I’m sure Osama Bin Ladin isn’t attacking because he’s pl…oh wait.

    Have you seen his body? Or are you taking Obama’s word that ObL is dead?

  • busterggi

    “Have you seen his body? Or are you taking Obama’s word that ObL is dead?”

    Seen it? Hell, I bought it on ebay!