Wiles Exposes Obama’s Fiendish Plot to Turn Americans Muslim Through Beards

You really gotta hand it to Rick Wiles. Try as Obama does to fool him, his eagle eye catches everything. On his radio show last week, Wiles exposed Obama’s infernal plot to turn Americans into Muslims by putting fashion ads on websites featuring models with beards. Oh, and he’s also spying on Wiles.

I saw a small advertisement in the lower right hand corner of the news website, it was the website of a big-name U.S. newspaper, the ad was sponsored by a store selling men’s clothing. The ad featured a typical 30-year-old white American male model in a dark blue business suit. So what was so shocking about the ad? Well the young man had a beard. What’s so shocking about a beard on a young man? Nothing, except it wasn’t an American-style beard, it was that long, scraggily, dirty-looking, flea-infested Islamic beard you see on jihadists. So who is conditioning the American people through advertising to accept the Islamic beard on American men?

Folks, this thing is coming down fast, we’re being taken over from the inside and the chief rat is in the White House. I just can’t figure out why somebody is breaking into our office and stationing cars and men on the street next to my office for hours each day, could it be something I said?

It’s kind of cute how he thinks he matters enough to get spied on.

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  • felicis

    “…it wasn’t an American-style beard, it was that long, scraggily, dirty-looking, flea-infested Islamic beard you see on jihadists.” or, perhaps, on the Duck Commander?

  • alanb

    @felicis,

    Well clearly Duck Dynasty is Obama’s doing as well. It’s all part of the same plot.

  • alanb

    Folks, this thing is coming down fast, we’re being taken over from the inside and the chief rat is in the White House. I just can’t figure out why somebody is breaking into our office and stationing cars and men on the street next to my office for hours each day, could it be something I said?

    Or why these snakes are crawling all over me or why a voice keeps telling me to do awful, awful things. Surely, it must be something that I said.

  • Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    @alanb #2:

    Well, yeah. Because “Duck!” is what we’ll all be yelling when the jihadists attack.

  • dingojack

    Oooh Rick have I got a collection of ads for you….

    a) As Islamic as McBacon and Cheese?

    b) Or perhaps as Muslim as Skittles?

    Dingo

  • dugglebogey

    The theory I’ve heard is that beards are more popular now because of the obesity epidemic. A beard hides a double chin. Sounds credible to me.

  • dingojack

    Let’s not forget that staple of Islamo-terrorists everywhere, Coca Cola!

    Dingo

  • dingojack

    Don’t get Rick started on Eurovision.

    :) Dingo

  • dingojack

    Even Australia has gone Islamic. (Don’t tell Tony. It’ll ruin his re-elect chances! [Whattashame])

    :) Dingo

  • vmanis1

    Santa Claus????

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    HIPSTERS ARE ISIS!!!

  • kantalope

    ” I just can’t figure out why somebody is breaking into our office and stationing cars and men on the street next to my office for hours each day…”

    I would suggest: http://zapatopi.net/afdb/

    that will quiet the anxiety and block out the voices.

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    I wonder if he watches baseball. Lots of long beards floating around the majors in recent years. So maybe Obama is using his Muslimising Ray on baseball players as well.

  • caseloweraz

    Rick Wiles: So what was so shocking about the ad? Well the young man had a beard. What’s so shocking about a beard on a young man? Nothing, except it wasn’t an American-style beard, it was that long, scraggily, dirty-looking, flea-infested Islamic beard you see on jihadists. So who is conditioning the American people through advertising to accept the Islamic beard on American men?

    Some clueless clothing company, evidently. Or a clothing company which signed a contract with a clueless advertising agency.

    I mean, how effective at selling clothing is an ad which uses models with “long, scraggily, dirty-looking, flea-infested” beards? (Of course, we have only Wiles’s word that the beards were of that type.)

    And could it be the fact that Wiles is being spied on (or thinks he is) that prevents him from naming the “big-name U.S. newspaper” or the “store selling men’s clothing”?

    (Today’s lesson in conspiracy theory: It must have been the Men’s Wearhouse. This was the reason George Zimmer was suddenly removed from the leadership of that company. President Obama drafted him into the plot. His role is to spy on people like Wiles.)

  • caseloweraz

    There was an old man with a beard

    Who said, “It is worse than I feared.

    A senior Wahhabist

    And four wild Jihadists

    Have all made their nests in my beard.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/charlie.cain chuck c

    I’m reminded of the Python skit about everyone turning into Scotsmen…

  • lorn

    Kind of cute how Rick Wiles thinks it is all about him.

    The story about Obama, it simply has to be Obama because nobody anywhere does anything except that nefarious spark plug of a plotter Obama, planting miniscule ads on news websites screams displaced fear. We can’t talk about the really scary things, like the gutting of the middle class in the US or how multinational corporations now write most of the laws, so we focus on the safe scary plots like … Obama planting clip-art of men with beards in advertisements in a plot to get people over the shock of seeing beards.

  • colnago80

    You know who else had a beard? Yeshua ben Yusef of Nazareth.

  • dingojack

    I’m sensing some deep-seated Pogonophobia. Perhaps Little Ricky has some unresolved ‘daddy-issues’?

    Just a thought.

    Dingo

  • dingojack

    SLC – Don’t you mean Joshua von Frankheimer of Nazareth? At least be a little consistent.

    :S Dingo

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Wiles is running about a generation behind, which for him represents major progress.

    When will he notice the now ubiquitous manifestation of the grubby 36-hour unshaven look, first popularized by Miami Vice in obvious tribute to Yasser Arafat?

  • Pen

    #wotaboutzemenz – you Americans should be ashamed of yourselves all this calling out of your president on his lack of fashion sense if he was a woman you’d all have been called sexist by now but because he’s a menz you think it’s okay and you can get away with it you’d better get your acts together before next time in case you get a woman.

    (end snark)

    PS – I think the lack of punctuation adds a certain something, no?

  • Michael Heath

    It’d be arguably credible to attribute beard popularity on gay men, which was then aped by baseball players.

  • colnago80

    Re Chihuahua @ #20

    It’s Yeshua and Yusef as there is no equivalent to J in Hebrew.

  • Chiroptera

    …and stationing cars and men on the street next to my office for hours each day….

    Yikes! Parking cars on a public street? People walking on a public street? That certainly sounds suspicious!

  • John Pieret

    Really, Wiles has to be doing some Stephen Colbert-like shtick! No one could be that divorced from reality and be able to feed himself, negotiate a bathroom and find his way to his studio.

  • Alaric

    Ed, I am pretty sure I saw the same ad on you website, However I just interpreted it as a conspiracy by Rick Wiles trying to get men to look like the stereotypical version of Jesus.

  • Mobius

    I thought the NSA was spying on everyone.

  • vereverum

    @ dingojack #19

    I’m sensing some deep-seated Pogonophobia.

    AND the picture Wikipedia uses is of… Friedrich Engels. That’ll make him examine the woodwork.

  • steve78b

    Remember that ISIS backwards is SI SI…… as in what the people coming over the border would say.

    Seriously, everyone is in on the conspiracy but me. And I don’t trust me.