'Prophetic Messenger' Has Key to Stopping Gay Agenda

John Burton, a self-declared “prophetic messenger” from God who lives in the Detroit area, says he has the key to stopping the dreaded gay agenda dead in its tracks. God gave it to him personally, he says, so you’d better listen to him. No more “love the sinner, hate the sin,” he says. You need to learn his one weird trick for getting rid of The Gay.

As I was considering this in prayer, God suddenly and powerfully revealed a clear, easy-to-understand strategy that will, without question, stop the fast-moving gay agenda in its tracks.

The church just has to make it happen. Spoiler alert: We have to pray, in unity, with one language, in the Holy Spirit.

The gay agenda is driven by a spirit. We must keep this in mind. Of course, we don’t wrestle with people. We wrestle with unholy spirits. But it’s true that many people are in alliance with those very spirits we are battling, so it’s unfortunately common for there to be collateral damage. Don’t mistake that collateral damage with fighting against flesh and blood. When we deal with evil spirits, those who renounce them will be set free, while those who embrace them will experience their judgment…

Pray that the Holy Spirit draws many to renounce the spirits that are holding them captive as this massive strategy that I’m calling Operation Babel unfolds….

Simply stated, we must have a movement of Holy Ghost-infused intercession. A mass advance of people praying in tongues is non-negotiable if we hope to move ahead in great unity. As we do this, we will stand in powerful agreement and pray for confusion to come to the enemy’s camp—so the millions of slaves held there can drop their bricks and be free.

The stories of Babel and the Exodus have key parallels.

The confusion at Babel and the plagues at Egypt got the job done.

Some will radically reject God at that time and be dispersed, while others will fall in love with Jesus and move out of slavery and into the glorious encounter.

Pray for God to continue to raise up mighty men and women of God in the spirit of Moses to deliver people from horrific bondage.

Pray for God himself to come down and bring confusion to the homosexual movement.

Wow, prayer. That’s the secret plan. Good thing that’s never been tried before. But this time they’re going to pray “in tongues,” which will apparently make all the difference. Have they just been praying in the wrong language? Does God not have a translator on hand so he didn’t understand their prayers? Funny stuff.

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  • steve78b

    THAT WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING!

    Prayer works. It has cured …… It has stopped the war in ….. It changes ….

    Forgot myself for a moment. Prayer doesn’t work. Thousand of years of history has proven that it doesn’t work.

    Carry on.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    And when it doesn’t work, they will realize their religion is a sham.

    Or not.

  • John Pieret

    Wow! Tongues are going to bring the gays down? In a certain sense, it might even work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/charlie.cain chuck c

    Pray in one language, or pray in tongues? Make up your alleged mind.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    ‘to pray “in tongues,” ‘

    In toungues?!?

    Would that be, like, French praying?

  • anachronistes

    But you’re not looking at the Truth! Don’t you all know how many wars, epidemics, homicides, droughts, and accidents and suffering and deaths have been prevented because of PRAYER?

    …neither do I.

  • whheydt

    The whole “speaking in tongues” thing has a curious twist… My wife, who was a graduate student in Linguistics had occasion to observe some Pentacostals doing it. What she noted was, that while what they said was gobbledy-gook, all of the phonemes and canon (what sounds go in what order) used were American English.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    “toungues”

    ???

    God made me spell it that way/

  • Deacon Duncan

    Now if they could just find the key to stopping stupid gullibility in its tracks.

  • corporal klinger

    I frequently visit family on the mediterranean coast of Spain. Every couple of days bodies are washed on the coast, bodies of people who found a horrible death, drowned in the attempt to cross the street of Gibraltar and every time I read of a new body, I think to myself how many of those people must have been desperatly praying while they were drowning? What kind of an asshole one has to be to let this happen, when you are supposidly omnipotent?

  • corporal klinger

    Forgot halfway what I wanted to say…….. I suppose those poor people didn’t speak the right language, too.

  • moarscienceplz

    Hey, this just might work! If someone approaches a gay couple and starts babbling nonsense sounds at them, they will fall to the ground laughing and won’t be able to get married. Brilliant!

  • Kevin Kehres

    Well, I for one will encourage the pastor and his followers to continue to do this activity as their exclusive activity to stop the gay agenda.

    Just prayer. No other activity counts. In fact, other activities distract you from prayer. Just pray. Always pray. Nothing else but pray.

  • Anthony K

    Whheydt, that’s to be expected, of course, from a secular understanding (or just ‘understanding’) of linguistics.

    I would actually be interested in hearing recordings of American Pentecostal glossolalia compared with Pentecostals from other linguistic backgrounds. I knew a couple where the husband was Zanzibari and the wife Jamaican (she didn’t speak Patois as far as I know). She was Pentecostal (not sure if he was church-going), but I certainly never accompanied them to church. Would have been interesting to hear.

  • http://www.clanfield.net janiceintoronto

    One more fundie lunatic…

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    As we do this, we will stand in powerful agreement and pray for confusion to come to the enemy’s camp—so the millions of slaves held there can drop their bricks and be free.

    It’s just like when the Isrealites prayed for God to get the Pharaoh to free them [from having to tolerate other people getting gay married].

  • Kevin Kehres

    I don’t “get” most of Christianity, but this whole Pentecostal “speaking in tongues” thing has to be the funniest stuff I’ve ever come across.

    I once saw a TV preacher (hey, it’s a hobby) quite literally say “shamalamadingdongfriedeggsandwich” once, and then he opened his eyes and grinned like he had just won the lottery. I fell out of my chair laughing.

  • shadowwalkyr

    In one language? Can I nominate Enochian?

    Of course, they’ll have to learn Enochian first, which should take them out of the arena for a few years.

  • robertfoster

    Phew. Just some prayer. As I was reading this I thought for sure he was going to suggest going to the local gay dance club with a stake and some fire and start cleansing everyone who came out after a night sinning revelry.

  • tsig

    Ohlalulahahajajanaoetggolgatspunyornsandliesgatpatmatsatbatvvbytrem.

    There, that’s it for teh ghez.

    Ahooooooo! ahoooooooo!!!

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Funny how none of these people ever bother to ask God why he doesn’t fix the problem himself.

  • bbgunn

    Ah, speaking in tongues. Evangelical or Pentecostal ululation.

  • roggg

    I agree with Burton. If you want to stop teh gay, you just need to pray more and better. If there’s any gay left, then clearly you did it wrong and should feel shame. Go home and practice some more please. I’ll come around and let you know when you.ve succeeded.

  • eric

    I’m pretty amused that he cites the Tower of Babel story as a reason God will help out Christians coming together to work in a unified fashion on a large project.

  • DaveL

    Of course, we don’t wrestle with people. We wrestle with unholy spirits.

    I’m sorry to break it to ya, Mr. Burton, but the guy who told you that wasn’t a spirit, and that wasn’t “wrestling”.

  • Randomfactor

    God’s been around a long time. They’re going to have to write their prayers in Fortran.

    Hey, maybe that’s their problem. He wasn’t Y2K compliant.

  • Sastra

    Operation Babble just might work:

    Some will radically reject God at that time and be dispersed, while others will fall in love with Jesus and move out of slavery and into the glorious encounter.

    You get together a large group of people who are all speaking in tongues and I can virtually guarantee two things will happen.

    1.) Some of the folks doing the swaying and chanting will suddenly want to reaffirm their love for Jesus and His saving grace.

    2.) People who are not part of this group will ‘disperse.’

  • Larry

    Just to get them started, might I suggest the following little prayer:

    owadagoo’siam <rinse, repeat>

  • teawithbertrand

    Even funnier than speaking in tongues, funnier than prayer being a new idea in the anti-gay movement, is this guy’s assertion that god TOLD him to pray. I’ve never understood that. It’s just god saying “I know what you want, but you’re not gonna get it without begging.”

  • Friendly

    @whheydt #7 and @Anthony K #14,

    All studies on the phenomenon have shown that people who “speak in tongues” use their native language’s sounds and speech patterns and that the “speech” being produced is devoid of actual meaning.

  • http://wanderinweeta.blogspot.com Susannah

    The stories of Babel and the Exodus have key parallels.

    Yes. They’re both fiction set in an alternate universe.

  • freehand

    richardelguru says: “toungues”

    ???

    God made me spell it that way/”

    .

    So you were spelling tongues in tongues. Hmm.

    .

    As I recall, the first such miracle was a number of the apostles speaking to a crowd in the various languages spoken by some of the people there. I don’t think those folks would have considered babbling unintelligibly to be very impressive.

    .

    Still, I would be entertained by this crowd fighting gay rights by literally babbling at TV cameras.

  • D. C. Sessions

    All studies on the phenomenon have shown that people who “speak in tongues” use their native language’s sounds and speech patterns and that the “speech” being produced is devoid of actual meaning.

    You mean like doesi dotesun maresi doats butlitt lelamse divey?

  • Nick Gotts

    all of the phonemes and canon (what sounds go in what order) used were American English. – whheydt@7

    Duh! Well of course. God’s an American, after all.

  • Electric Shaman

    You people obviously don’t understand how prayer works. Prayer doesn’t prevent things from happening, prayer just makes sure God isn’t as evil as he initially intends to be. It goes a little something like this…

    God: “Oh boy, feeling good this morning! I reckon I can smite all the Americans today. That’ll show those bastards they can’t let the gays get married! Wait, what…oh man! Some people are praying that I don’t smite all the Americans because they’ve allowed the gays to get married. Shit. Fine, but I’ve got a hankering for some smiting. I’ll just make an earthquake in China. I guess.”

  • jonathangray
  • dingojack

    You know I call you

    I call you on the telephone

    I’m only hoping that you’re home

    So I can hear you

    When you say those words to me

    And whisper so softly

    I gotta hear you”.

    Oh I’m sorry, I thought this was the ‘post random lyrics’ thread.

    @@

    Dingo

  • birgerjohansson

    richardelguru,

    “toungues”

    is that the cockney British spelling? As an Outlander, I know `mercun english deletes the “u” in some words, but I have no idea which.

    .

    “god TOLD him to pray”

    maybe this is just like a rigged election, Zod wants the appearence that he gives a damn about what people ask. And then he STILL won’t grant the wishes.

    .

    “I don’t “get” most of Christianity, but this whole Pentecostal “speaking in tongues” thing has to be the funniest stuff I’ve ever come across”

    -Glossolalia exist in some non-Christian religions too.

  • macallan

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

    There. Repeat that as often as you can.