Swimp: Gay Marriage Bringing on the End Times

Stacy Swimp is the most outspoken of a group of right-wing black ministers here in Michigan, routinely saying the most inane things about pretty much any subject. In an interview with a fellow anti-gay bigot, he says that gay marriage is going to bring on the end times, just like in Noah’s day.

If the Supreme Court were to issue a favorable marriage equality ruling, Swimp told Cleveland anti-gay activist Molly Smith in a September 23 interview, “I see America looking like what Jesus said the world looking like. He said, ‘As it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be when the Son returns.’”

“You see,” he continued, “in Noah’s day, you had complete lawlessness, men did what was right in their own eyes, according to the Bible, and there were no moral boundaries that men respected. And so we are at the threshold in our global society.”

“If this happens to become law, you’re going to see complete chaos and lawlessness,” he said, adding that such a ruling would lead to “broken families” and “escalated crime.”

I’ve got news for you: Noah didn’t exist. He was a character in an older story that was borrowed by the men who wrote the book of Genesis. There was no global flood. These are myths. But even so, shouldn’t he be thrilled that the end times are upon us? Shouldn’t that be a good thing to him?

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POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    To be fair, he’s right. Since we legalized gay marriage here it’s been chaos! Why, just this morning a roving band of gayhomos roughed me up. They call it “Queer Fists for the Straight Guy”, which is a reference I can’t even pretend to understand. And then they sped away on their float, dance music thumping away for the whole hour it took for the float to get out of sight.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Because, of course, people forming long-term committed relationships is infinitely worse than slaughtering each other by the millions, rape, devastating vast stretches of land, killing the life in the oceans, driving a large percentage of the Earth’s species to extinction, …

    Got it.

  • http://www.twisted-lines.com ambrosethompson

    The whole ‘broken family’ claim logically makes no sense. If someone is heterosexually married and is gay then the family would be broken through separate interests, but allowing two people to marry who are currently separate only creates a new family. People don’t stay in unhappy marriages if same-sex marriage is illegal; they break up and live alone. So allowing same-sex marriage actually creates more families, not less, if a family must live in the same house together to be counted.

    binary

    math still

    counts

  • John Pieret

    If this happens to become law, you’re going to see complete chaos and lawlessness

    Yeah! The once great Commonwealth of Massachusetts has been reduced to a smoking hulk like a third-world country.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    ModusOperandi @ # 1 – I have great confidence that float was out-of-sight before you even saw it.

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    And as usual you have an American who thinks God is only interested in America, a country not mentioned once in the Bible. All those other places that preceded the US in introducing gay marriage are totally irrelevant. It’s only when some America states start to have gay marriage that sudden God starts ramping up the Doomsday Machine.

  • Scott Hanley

    you had complete lawlessness, men did what was right in their own eyes, according to the Bible

    That’s actually from the book of Judges, long after Noah, long after Abraham, Isaac, Joseph, and Moses. The way God’s favored people were living when Samuel warned them that they wouldn’t enjoy having a king.

  • jnorris

    …shouldn’t he be thrilled that the end times are upon us? Shouldn’t that be a good thing to him?

    Exactly, I don’t see a downside to this at all.

    For John Pieret at #4, don’t forget what happened to Canada !

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    “If this happens to become law, you’re going to see complete chaos and lawlessness,” he said, adding that such a ruling would lead to “broken families” and “escalated crime.”

    He’s got a point. Who can forget how Canada broke down into complete chaos, broken families and escalated crime since they legalized the gays? It’s gotten so bad not even Australians are willing to go there these days.

  • John Pieret

    jnorris & sigurd jorsalfar:

    Don’t forget the Dutch! The Netherlands sank beneath the sea when they legalized SSM, didn’t it?

  • Randomfactor

    The Noah verse goes on to explain that it has nothing to do with universal wickedness, but that people would be going on about their business normally when the end came.

    But I’m with Ed–does this guy mean that by following all the precepts in the Bible (except the obviously erroneous ones about shellfish and bacon, but the adjacent verse about icky gay stuff) we could actually prevent the Second Coming from happening? Foul up the Divine Plan by human action? Is THAT what he’s suggesting?

  • https://www.facebook.com/credulous.skeptic Annie Skepptik

    And here all this time, I never believed in Swimp:

    http://www.somethingawful.com/news/district-bulletin-commendation/