Pat Robertson Has Annual Halloween Freakout

It’s October, so it’s time for Pat Robertson to tell his ignorant and credulous followers that if they let their kids trick or treat on Halloween, they’re going to come home possessed by demons. And he’s invented a whole new story for why that’s the case:

“The whole idea of trick-or-treating is the Druids would go to somebody’s house and ask for money and if they didn’t get money they’d kill one of their sheep, that was the sheep and it was serious stuff. All this business about goblins and jack-o’-lanterns all comes out of demonic rituals of the Druids and the people who lived in England at that particular time.”

Robertson suggested that churches instead “turn it into a Christian festival and that’s what we ought to do, we need to redeem these days, but that day was given over to Satanic things.”

CBN years ago actually published an article claiming that the candy companies actually brought in witches to put curses on the candy to infect kids with demons. No evidence of this, of course, but since when does Pat Robertson’s target audience care about evidence?

httpv://youtu.be/JKtnPVUnw0c

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • John Pieret

    candy companies actually brought in witches to put curses on the candy to infect kids with demons

    Did you ever have Red Hot Devil Chews? That stuff is pretty evil.

  • raven

    The War on Halloween is late this year. Usually the kooks start up their Fear and Hate machine much earlier.

    Hard to say why. Maybe they are preoccupied with real problems for once. We have an Ebola epidemic that as of yet, shows no sign of winding down. Wars everywhere (oddly enough most with a religious component), some of which we are involved in. Plus the mediocre economy that shows signs of life but not much more than that.

    Whatever. Don’t forget the big one. The War on the War on Xmas!!! It will be here before you known it. Then the War on Easter which also wasn’t much last year.

  • raven

    Robertson suggested that churches instead “turn it into a Christian festival and that’s what we ought to do, we need to redeem these days,

    The crypto-SBC fundie church down the road tried that. They used to have a Harvest Festival with candy and pumpkins. It seems to have gone away though.

    I don’t know too much about them (or care) but a lot of churches including the SBC don’t have many families with kids any more. The membership is often just old people. My parents medium size church with a few hundred people has a sunday school. The number of kids attending runs around…zero.

  • http://www.electricminstrel.com Brett McCoy

    “turn it into a Christian festival”

    Wait, I thought it was all part of a Christian festival already: October 31 – November 2 is Allhallowtide, encompassing All Hallow’s Eve, All Hallow’s (All Saint’s Day) and All Soul’s Day. There just happens to be some pre-Christian stuff leftover, juts like there is for Christmas.

  • D. C. Sessions

    It’s really sad when Pat isn’t even funny any more.

  • garnetstar

    It’s really quite sad, until rather recently no one had ever even thought to complain about Halloween. Little children greatly enjoyed dressing up, trick-or-treating, and other innocent amusements. It was one of the most secular of major holidays, no religious nonsense still associated with it.

    Now it’s irretrievably tainted for many people, for good. For some, it will never recover. (I’ll bet a lot of Republican politicians deny that they let their kids participate.) Religion spoils everything.

  • raven

    …until rather recently no one had ever even thought to complain about Halloween.

    It’s a fundie thing.

    They live in mortal, complete terror that somewhere, someone might be having…fun.

  • D. C. Sessions

    So when do they start picketing stores that sell Halloween stuff?

    Or is this one of those things they tell each other, but don’t have the courage of their faith to speak out on it in public?

  • raven

    The fundies did have some success with their War on Halloween though.

    1. My local elementary school doesn’t have a kid’s Halloween party. They do have a Fall and Harvest party which is similar.

    They also don’t have any Xmas or Easter parties either. They have Holiday parties of some sort.

    So they won on Halloween and lost on Xmas and Easter.

    2. It might have ended up being a counterproductive war though. A lot of kids are going to wonder what is wrong with fundies. They are bright enough to know that witches, demons, Zombies, Vampires, etc.. are make believe and surprised that some adults can’t tell movie and TV fiction and ancient superstitions from…reality.

  • Chiroptera

    CBN years ago actually published an article claiming that the candy companies actually brought in witches to put curses on the candy to infect kids with demons.

    lol wut?

    Did the article explain why the candy companies would want kids to be infected with demons?

  • grumpyoldfart

    Americans. Such funny little characters.

  • Owlmirror

    Did the article explain why the candy companies would want kids to be infected with demons?

    To increase candy purchases, of course. Non-demon-possessed children don’t like candy much, and eat carrot sticks and celery with peanut-butter as snacks.

  • mordred

    The whole idea of trick-or-treating is the Druids would go to somebody’s house and ask for money…

    He seriously beliefs the Druids walked from door to door collecting *money*?

    I think he is confusing celtic paganism with his own cult!

  • Al Dente

    CBN years ago actually published an article claiming that the candy companies actually brought in witches to put curses on the candy to infect kids with demons.

    Candy companies would not find it cost effect to hire extra employees to do something with no visible effects.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    This means the War on Christmas can’t be that far away!

  • dhall

    Druids? That’s going to surprise the Romans. He could at the very least have one of his minions conduct a wee bit of research to explain the real origins of the holiday. But it’s probably easier just making up crap instead.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Rightwing Outreach Programs:

    1. Anti-Immigrant immigrant outreach

    2. Anti-Uterus women’s outreach

    3. Anti-Gay Rights gay outreach

    4. Anti-Voter’s Rights minority outreach

    and now…

    4. Anti-Halloween children’s outreach.

     

    You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear they were just a bunch of scared old white men.

  • matty1

    Has anyone considered the possibility Pat Robertson is a demon?

  • lorn

    Is it just me, or does Robertson look tired, and a little thread worn? He is no spring chicken but he usually has a bit more fire in the eye.

  • http://drx.typepad.com Dr X

    @Matty:

    Has anyone considered the possibility Pat Robertson is a demon?

    Of course he’s a demon. How else could an elderly man leg press 2,000 lbs.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Actually, he’s a robot, sent back from the future to whatever the opposite of learn what it means to be human is.

  • iangould

    “Wait, I thought it was all part of a Christian festival already: October 31 – November 2 is Allhallowtide, encompassing All Hallow’s Eve, All Hallow’s (All Saint’s Day) and All Soul’s Day. There just happens to be some pre-Christian stuff leftover, juts like there is for Christmas.”

    Pat means real Christian not that Papist filth.

  • thebookofdave

    CBN years ago actually published an article claiming that the candy companies actually brought in witches to put curses on the candy to infect kids with demons.

    I had completely forgotten about that moral scare, but it gives me the best idea ever for Halloween treats: fortune cookies containing a few customized demonic taunts.

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    It’s really quite sad, until rather recently no one had ever even thought to complain about Halloween.

    Oh, I remember the fundies having issues with it when I was a kid growing up in the deep South. They got about as much traction with it back then as they’re likely to get now — none, since everyone loves Halloween and they’re swimming against the tide of culture.

  • whheydt

    Somebody should give Robertson the fright of his life…dress up as a Federal Judge and ring his doorbell. For a little extra charge, bring a same-sex couple along…say a pair of women in wedding dresses with bouquets or a couple of men in tux and boutonniere.

  • weatherwax

    #14 Al Dente says : “Candy companies would not find it cost effect to hire extra employees to do something with no visible effects.”

    You’ve obviously never worked for a large company. You’d be amazed at what some manager will decide is productive use of time and money.

  • anubisprime

    “The whole idea of trick-or-treating is the Druids would go to somebody’s house and ask for money and if they didn’t get money they’d kill one of their sheep”

    Err!…no Pat …no they didn’t!

    About 1000AD the church usurped the ancient tradition of Samhain and transplanted it with ‘All souls-day’ in an attempt to eradicate the Pagan old by redressing it with the righteous new.

    But they kept the bonfires and masquerade’s to keep the plebs happy.

    ‘Trick-or-treating’ is mainly an adapted Americanism added to the festival probably a century ago although it is thought that Irish and Scottish immigration early on actually brought versions of the idea of ‘souling’ to America, where it became an apparently recognised fixture around 1951 …it has no real basis in reality, a bit like Pat!

    Thing is Pat it is an xtian version already, it has already been jeebusfied…except no one really gives a toss…oh dear how sad never mind.

    That Pat has no clue about the festival origins, especially in this present age just confirms that fact.

    Trick or treating never really was a part of Halloween in England when I were knee high to a grasshopper, it was all fun and screams and apple bobbing etc etc….which actually now seems to be a tradition bleeding into ‘Guy Fawkes night’ but whatever, trick or treating crept in and became popular largely since the 70’s and really took off in the 80’s when it was realised just how much dosh could be made from selling tat and rubber bats…the candy is just a bonus for the kiddiewinks…the real reason in the profit motive, a point that it would be assumed that Pat would agree with?

    It did not really work

  • theignored

    CBN years ago actually published an article claiming that the candy companies actually brought in witches to put curses on the candy to infect kids with demons.

    I have got to see that article!

  • John Pieret

    theignored:

    My Google-fu is strong this morning. Although CBN scrubbed the article, it was, in fact, a reprint of an article by Kimberly Daniels that originally appeared in Charisma magazine and which can be found here, after it was republished by the magazine in 2013:

    http://www.charismamag.com/spirit/spiritual-warfare/7134-why-celebrating-halloween-is-dangerous

    Some interesting bits:

    Lucifer is a part of the demonic godhead. Remember, everything God has, the devil has a counterfeit.

    And here I thought Manichaeism was considered a heresy by most Christians!

    It is a time for the gathering of evil that masquerades behind the fictitious characters of Dracula, werewolves, mummies and witches on brooms. The truth is that these demons that have been presented as scary cartoons actually exist.

    Remember! Dracula is real! And the Blade movies were documentaries!

    And, of course, the pièce de résistance:

    These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

    What a strange world these people live in.

  • D. C. Sessions

    What a strange world these people live in.

    It’s all about fear. Read up on the conditions that promote high-RWA personality types and a short desription is “isolation and fear.” Closed communities with everyone on the same page (and generally in the same picture) plus lots of fear.

    And fear is addictive. If there’s nothing around to be afraid of, manufacture some. Especially if it maps into being afraid of … them.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    Halloween is deadly.

    Zombie Slayer bus slays zombie

  • Reginald Selkirk
  • http://Www.metalmischief.com YOB – Ye Olde Blacksmith

    For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches.

    Where do they get all those witches to do all of that praying? I looked on Monster.com and didn’t find any listings?

    Also, isn’t there an awful lot of candy sold during Christmas? Is that candy dedicated, or is it just seasonal work for those witches?

  • Pingback: Monday Religion and Atheist Digest | Evangelically Atheist()

  • http://www.facebook.com/charlie.cain chuck c

    if they let their kids trick or treat on Halloween, they’re going to come home possessed by demons

    If this movie hasn’t been made yet, it should be.

  • lamacher

    Along with much else, Pat knows nothing about the Druids. They were, in fact, the wisdom-holders of the Celts, knew a great deal of local geography, had an astounding wealth of astrophysical knowledge, laid out solstice-lines for long-range travel and roads all over Europe, roads that the Romans could use later in their blitz of Europe. Many of their observances and holy days entered into Christian practice later, facts that a jackass like Robertson can now twist into his demented view of history. His malignant ignorance, putrid because it is willful, fills ‘his’ airways with a fetid odor. K

  • =8)-DX

    CBN years ago actually published an article claiming that the candy companies actually brought in witches to put curses on the candy to infect kids with demons

    & chuck c #34:

    if they let their kids trick or treat on Halloween, they’re going to come home possessed by demons

    If this movie hasn’t been made yet, it should be.

    Thou of little faith: watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer, season 2, episode Halloween. And any number of B-movies have this motif, but I’m darned if I can think of one.

  • mikeym

    These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them

    At least they have good manners.

  • Pingback: Get Rid of Herpes is Best Treatment of Its Kind | KBase Online | Herpes Survival Kit()