Republican House Candidate: Gay People are Like Gremlins

Anthony Culler is the Republican candidate challenging Rep. James Clyburn in South Carolina. And while most of his fellow wingnuts compare gay people to Nazis and say they’re demon-possessed, he’s got a whole new analogy: They’re like gremlins, cute but if you get them wet, they’ll try to kill you.

Same-sex “marriage” is a pestilence that has descended on our society, against our will, by those in the courts and government that do not value the traditional family. These people, like my opponent SC-6 Congressman Jim Clyburn who OPENLY supports same-sex “marriage,” seek to destroy the traditional family and the values we cherish…

If you believe in traditional families and that marriage is defined as an institution between one man and one woman then I ask that you start acting like it and START VOTING like it! Do not buy the “cuteness” and “What will it hurt?” arguments whispered in your ears and marketed to our children. Same-sex couples that seek to destroy our way of life and the institution of marriage are NOT cute and cuddly but rather (for those of you that are old enough to remember the movie), Gremlins that will only destroy our way of life.

Yes, they’re evil gremlins who will DESTROY OUR WAY OF LIFE. How exactly will letting gay people get married destroy anyone’s way of life? He doesn’t say, of course, because what the hell could he say? There is no coherent argument for such a conclusion, so better to just declare the conclusion without trying to support it. His followers will eat it up because it fits with the narrative in their heads even if it doesn’t fit with actual reality.

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  • Chiroptera

    They’re like gremlins, cute but if you get them wet, they’ll try to kill you.

    And don’t feed them after midnight.

    How exactly will letting gay people get married destroy anyone’s way of life?

    Well, I was forced to bake cakes for gay people. AND I’M A COLLEGE MATH INSTRUCTOR!

  • John Pieret

    How exactly will letting gay people get married destroy anyone’s way of life? He doesn’t say, of course, because what the hell could he say?

    The truth, of course … it will destroy our way of life of separating “us” from “them” and end our right to use the law to punish “them.”

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    How exactly will letting gay people get married destroy anyone’s way of life?

    Marriage will get all icky once The Gays cover it in their homogay mansex. Homosexuality is the mayonnaise on the fries of marriage.

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    Look, it’s the same “way of life” that was at stake in the 1860s and again in the 1960s. There’s this group of people who are not like us. Our way of life demands that we treat them like something less than human. If society starts expecting that we treat them as equal citizens, our way of life will go away.

  • Sastra

    How exactly will letting gay people get married destroy anyone’s way of life?

    Because in the halcyon past people who weren’t Christian used to look over and marvel at their strong sense of duty, their noble values of right and wrong. Christians were once envied for their moral fiber. Now people call them bigots. That’s because of the gays.

    And soon people will hear they are “Christian” and roll their eyes. That’s the job of the atheists.

    Actually, it all comes from the values of the modern enlightenment shining into their dark corners. But no, they want a “villain” who took away their belief that their way of life was generally admired as the Gold Standard.

  • lofgren

    Gay people are more like the Gremlins in Gremlins 2, who experiment with body modification, crossdressing, erudite television commentary, overeating, slapstick, telephone hacking, and mind altering chemicals. Or basically just like straight people.

  • Loqi

    …but gremlins *aren’t* out to destroy your way of life. Will someone please tell these people the goal they’re shooting on is their own? I can’t do it, because they look so darn happy with how well their doing that I can’t stand to tell them they’re not actually winning.

  • scienceavenger

    Same-sex “marriage” is a pestilence that has descended on our society, against our will, by those in the courts and government that do not value the traditional family.

    I count 6 errors of fact in that sentence, that’s got to be some sort of nonPalin record:

    1) They are really marriages in every way that counts.

    2) It is not a pestilence,. It does not cause death, or anything close.

    3) It did not descend on us from without, it rose from within.

    4) It did so quite voluntarily.

    5) It wasn’t the courts and government that did it, but ordinary people, most of the time fighting the courts and government every step of the way.

    6) The courts and government have and continue to support the traditional family.

  • eric

    How exactly will letting gay people get married destroy anyone’s way of life? He doesn’t say, of course, because what the hell could he say?

    He could say the truth: allowing gay marriage and gay rights will normalize it in society,increasing the chances that your children will disagree with you on whether being gay is evil/sinful. It will contribute to them rejecting your belief and authority on this matter, and once they realize that their parents are wrong about one such fundamental issue, it will cause them to question your teaching and authority on many other issues too.

    That’s what they’re afraid of, and they are right to be afraid of it. The eyeroll my generation reserved for bigot grandpa, this generation will use on their fundie parents.

  • cptdoom

    Same-sex couples that seek to destroy our way of life and the institution of marriage are NOT cute and cuddly but rather (for those of you that are old enough to remember the movie), Gremlins that will only destroy our way of life.

    My secret Gremlin power is shopping – every wedding present I’ve purchased has all my homogay cooties on it and they inevitably infect the couple to make them hate marriage. I’ve only managed to destroy about 6 of my cousins’ marriages, and only two of my friends (ok, the substance abuse and adultery helped), but I keep trying with every “congratulations” I give to happily married couples.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    If anything, they are not like Gremlins. The Gays are more like Ford Pintos; you rear end them and they burst in to flame. What do you mean I’m not helping?

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Shouldn’t he have compared them to Critters instead?

  • marcus

    MO @ 3 Oh, thanks a lot! Now I’m hungry again!

  • typecaster

    A little good news – the state GOP has walked away from this loon, saying that while they agree with his position on same-sex marriage, they won’t associate themselves with this sort of name-calling. So they get very limited partial credit on pulling funding and other support, while still staying majority asshat on the issue.

  • Crimson Clupeidae

    So, he admits he finds those gay couple cute?

    Isn’t that the takeaway we should all get from his verbal diarrhea? :-)

  • John Pieret

    Modus @ 11:

    No fair topping yourself in the same comment thread when the rest of us can’t top you in the first place.

  • otrame

    @16

    You know you’ve been reading too much fan fiction when “no fair topping yourself” causes you to think about contortionists and lots of lube.

  • John Pieret

    You know you’ve been reading too much fan fiction when “no fair topping yourself” causes you to think about contortionists and lots of lube.

    It was only after I punched the “Post Comment” button that I realized that I should have added “* Metaphorically speaking”. Itchy trigger finger … metaphorically speaking.

  • John Pieret

    It appears Culler doubled down on his original comments:

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/anthony-culler-gays-gremlins?utm_content=buffer63fb3&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

    I can’t find the video now, so it was probably taken down.

    But screen shots show that, not content with shooting himself in the foot, he did the second video leaning up against a cannon … aimed at his midsection.

  • dingojack

    Ed: They’re like gremlins, cute but if you get them wet, they’ll try to kill you.

    Only if you get ’em hot and wet, silly.

    Chiroptera: And don’t feed them after midnight.

    A small musical interlude.

    :) Dingo

  • busterggi

    He’s right, gays are like gremlis. Just check out the drivethru lanes at fast food places after midnight.

  • joyfulatheist

    Jesus Christ, Culler. The 2004 Bush Campaign called, they want their already-outdated talking points back.