The Real Reason for the Alex Jones – Glenn Beck Rivalry

I think I’ve discovered the real reason why Alex Jones and Glenn Beck hate each other. It’s because they’ve been locked in a battle over who can cry the loudest and most often. Luckily, some enterprising Youtubers have compiled the video for us. Here’s Alex Jones wailing:

httpv://youtu.be/uVoVIyL-ERU

And Glenn Beck:

httpv://youtu.be/DmXjxgy6MUo

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • matty1

    The Beck one includes footage of him practising, should he be giving away that it’s all a con like this or are his fans not likely to make the connection?

  • daved

    That Alex Jones one is just embarrassing to watch. I felt like a peeping Tom.

  • blf

    I suggest rubbing some onion, garlic, or chili in their eyes to make it more convincing. And then shoving the pieces up their nose to ensure the performance isn’t still, somehow, faked.

    Of course, that does means you’d first have to pull each ones head out of an arse (presumably their own, albeit this isn’t entirely clear). I suggest heavy construction equipment and a full biosafety “moon suit”.

    On the plus side, a temporarily head-free arse does provide another entertaining spot to shove the garlic, onion, or chili.

  • John Pieret

    they’ve been locked in a battle over who can cry the loudest and most often

    Beck should have no fear on that front. While his crying is transparently staged (as that photo shoot demonstrates), Jones’ crying is the sort of staging you’d expect from a first grade pageant.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Sometimes I’m glad that the prison firewall blocks videos.

  • Dexeron

    Someone needs to make a mashup of these two videos.

    (This old Alex Jones “Super Saiyan” one still makes me chuckle whenever I see it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhqUk28OwHs )

  • blf

    Someone needs to make a mashup of these two videos.

    Wouldn’t work. Doctor Who monsters have some plausibility, even you have to squint. A mash-up monster would a complete rewriting of optics, as well confinement to a safe area, such as inside the event horizon of a black hole.

  • http://www.clanfield.net janiceintoronto

    Oh, those poor men are sad…

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Following in the hallowed footsteps of Jim Bakker and Jimmy Lee Swaggart – such respect for tradition, it kinda makes ya misty-eyed, don’t it?

  • Sastra

    Okay, I’m going to call this one in favor of Alex Jones. Beck’s sniffling seemed mostly involved with thanking his audience or concern for the handicapped, which are at least in the ballpark of things grown adults might cry over in public. And those last three minutes or so look like he’s deliberately hamming it up in a photo shoot which is supposed to produce something funny-looking or satirical, so I’m not going to count it.

    But Jones … that was painful to watch and hear. And every time he mentioned what set it off it was invariably something painfully stupid. Fluoride? Even with twice the time, in my opinion Beck wasn’t much competition here. Jeez, the reporter who handled the explosion of the Hindenburg kept more cool.

  • John Pieret

    Jeez, the reporter who handled the explosion of the Hindenburg kept more cool.

    And the reporter was actually watching people die before his eyes, not sitting in some nice studio, crying about some imaginary “event.”

  • felidae

    I have heard that the sign of a really good actor is the ability to cry on cue