Manning: Go to Starbucks, Get the Gay Ebola

James David Manning, the absolutely deranged pastor of the ATLAH World Missionary Church in Harlem, has important advice for people: Stay out of Starbucks because gay people go there and spread Ebola by exchanging bodily fluids. Oh, and don’t accept shoes from older men or you’ll give your mother Ebola. Seriously.

“Because of the clientele,” Manning says. “Generally upscale sodomites who sit there with their computers, it’s a meeting place, they exchange a lot of body fluids.”

“Especially the Starbucks in the urban areas,” he says, because “a large number of the sodomites and the LGBT crowd that usually and continue to approach the idea of sex and intercourse and dating on a lower, less-visible, less social scale because of the nature [of] what they want to do and who they are, the reason why they’re fighting so hard to get public recognition and legality of what they’re doing so they don’t have to stoop to dark-alley measures that [they] have to seek after for having sex.”

Manning also claims, falsely, that there is an Ebola “pandemic” in America.

Oh, and I forgot: Obama is gay, too.

httpv://youtu.be/doBkuAC8X38

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  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    “Go to Starbucks, Get the Gay Ebola”

    Isn’t that just one of their crazy coffee names?

    Like for Halloween??

  • dingojack

    Before we go to Starbucks, do we really have to don now our gay apparel (fa-la-la-la-la-la-la)?

    Dingo

  • Trebuchet
  • Chiroptera

    …the ATLAH World Missionary Church in Harlem….

    I just looked it up: there is Starbucks in Harlem. You’d think this would be an easy thing to check out.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    upscale sodomites

    Dibs on band name!

  • John Pieret

    Sorta OT, remember a few days ago when Louie Gohmert said gays shouldn’t be in the military because they’d spend all their time getting massages and would be vulnerable to terrorist attack? Well, Stephen Colbert noticed and the results were predictably hilarious:

    http://thecolbertreport.cc.com/videos/whfeyg/louie-gohmert-on-gays-in-the-military

  • eric

    it’s a meeting place, they exchange a lot of body fluids.”

    Coffee is not a bodiy fluid. At least not for most of us. Okay I take that back, it really is a bodiy fluid for most of us.

  • LightningRose

    And here I thought I avoided Starbucks because their coffee is crap.

  • blf

    What’s a “star” buck?

    Ok, ok, I fink I once saw a Starbucks in Paris, and there’s apparently around all of 60-or-so of them here in France, but mostly the place is a Starbucks-free real café zone. With cheese.

    I guess frogland is missing out on the ebolagay scene…

  • Die Anyway

    Ebola Gay…wasn’t that the plane that dropped the atomic bomb? That explains everything.

  • dingojack

    ‘Starbuck’ Ebola Gay – wasn’t he in the gay-porn version of Battlestar Galactica’?

    Or so I’ve heard….

    :) Dingo

  • Dave Maier

    Right, the Ebola Gay — good catch, Die Anyway! I’m also remembering a brand of margarine made from corn oil, and their jingle (“Ebo-ola, corn goodness!”) keeps running through my head nowadays …

  • basementmatt

    Coincidentally, this Starbucks ad with two wonderful drag queens came out today.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkyTQP27H6s

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Manning seems to be like a lot of these cranks. He thinks gay men walk around with permanent erections, ready at the first opportunity, no matter where they are, to shove said erection into a waiting orifice. And in his case he apparently thinks they sit in Starbucks having orgasms and spewing semen on every surface at regular and random intervals.

  • grumpyoldfart

    He’s just a silly old man trying to make a name for himself – but what about the parishioners who go along with him and even pay him money to say those things? How stupid are they?

  • matty1

    having orgasms and spewing semen on every surface at regular and random intervals

    Well who doesn’t?

  • http://tierra-de-antilopes.blogspot.com.ar/ tierra de antilopes

    Exchange of lots of body fluids… I guess that’s why their coffee is so creamy

  • dingojack

    Manning, clearly, hasn’t got the memo on the sanctity of all our precious bodily fluids. Perhaps General Ripper might be able to help him out…

    😉 Dingo

  • caseloweraz

    “Especially the Starbucks in the urban areas,” he says, because “a large number of the sodomites and the LGBT crowd that usually and continue to approach the idea of sex and intercourse and dating on a lower, less-visible, less social scale because of the nature [of] what they want to do and who they are, the reason why they’re fighting so hard to get public recognition and legality of what they’re doing so they don’t have to stoop to dark-alley measures that [they] have to seek after for having sex.”

    According to this, they go to Starbucks because they seek a lower, less-visible, less-social venue for sex. So that’s why they’re fighting so hard for public recognition. Makes poifect sense — soitenly!

  • dhall

    #11 – Or he could be Starbuck, Cap’n Ahab’s first mate aboard the ‘Pequot.’