Bachmann Thinks She’ll Be Relevant After Leaving Office

Retiring Congresswoman Michele Bachmann has no plans to go gently into that good night after she leaves office in January. Promising to spread “my voice and my thoughts as far and wide as I possibly can,” she amusingly seems to think that she has something unique to add.

As the only Republican woman to ever participate in televised presidential debates and “the only woman Republican candidate who ever won a presidential contest,” Bachmann asserted that “I occupy a unique space” in public sphere and therefore she intends to be “heavily involved in the 2016 race, in particular if Hillary Clinton is the nominee for president on the Democrat [sic] side.”

Uh, Michele…you didn’t win a “presidential contest.” You won the Iowa Straw Poll, which is so meaningless even in Iowa that you still dropped out of the race before the actual Iowa caucuses.

Nonetheless, Bachmann has big plans to “be in the national media,” speaking around the country, appearing on radio and writing weekly columns and perhaps even a book.

“I intend to have my voice and my thoughts as far and wide as I possibly can,” she pledged, “to bring in the perspective of the conservative movement in this upcoming race in 2016. It is the pivotal race in our lifetime and I wanna be involved.”

Of course you do. And I’m sure Fox News will be happy to let you blather incoherently about things just like they do Sarah Palin. Hey, maybe you can start your own online TV channel like she and Herman Cain did.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • marcozandrini

    Yeah, she’ll be in the media-late night comedians need the material!!!

  • D. C. Sessions

    I hear that Charles and David are handing out money to Republican thought leaders. She should give them a ring.

  • John Pieret

    Bachmann has big plans to “be in the national media

    Just don’t forget your big red rubber nose and floppy shoes so everyone can recognize you, Michele!

    It is the pivotal race in our lifetime and I wanna be involved

    I’m sure Hillary is lighting a candle somewhere.

  • Larry Kearney

    Her thoughts will spread far and wide much like the farts of your Grandpa after eating a huge Thanksgiving meal.

  • Melvosh

    They’re all just parodies of each other at this point, we don’t need all of them. Let’s run Thunderdome until there are just a couple left, then send them out into the desert. Whoever makes it back can have a tv channel funded by the Kochs.

  • cptdoom

    In another report I saw last week, she also said she wanted to be the next Newt Gingrich, so a future as a Fox commentator and perennial “maybe” candidate seems likely. Of course, she also could be signalling that she’s about to leave Marcus for a female Congressional staffer.

  • Dexeron

    Hey, it worked for Palin, right?

  • scienceavenger

    Uh, Michele…you didn’t win a “presidential contest.” You won the Iowa Straw Poll, which is so meaningless even in Iowa that you still dropped out of the race before the actual Iowa caucuses.

    She also never led the primaries in the polls, despite much commentary to the contrary. The media was so smitten with their “new leader every month” meme that they didn’t let the facts get in the way when it came to her surprising ride to second place, before the inevitable crash after they let her talk.

    But one thing she did get right, she does occupy a unique time and space.

  • reddiaperbaby1942

    Presumably “God” told her to do this. I sometimes wish the deity would just shut up and stop talking to these people. Doesn’t it have anything better to do with its time (besides running the universe)?

  • Loqi

    When I think of Bachmann “spreading her thoughts” as far as she can, I think of the times when I’m out of peanut butter and trying to scrape the residue in the jar in a futile and pathetic attempt to make a sandwich out of it.

  • Phillip Hallam-Baker

    Its obvious, isn’t it? Bachman marries Palin in the season finale, the ratings would go through the roof.

  • jimnorth

    Bachman and Palin already have a love-child…Joni Ernst, the next, unfortunately, senator from the Great State of Iowa.

  • yoav

    I, for one, can’t wait for the Michele Bachmann channel debut on the Shara Palin network.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Her place in history is assured. She’s already got a chapter in Texas’ school textbooks.

  • Phillip Hallam-Baker

    13, The Sharia Palin Network?

  • Trebuchet

    It’s all about the Benjamins, of course. Palin has gotten rich, why not me?

  • http://www.pixelated-reality.com Alareth

    Bachmann and Palin could team up for a reality show like that one with Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie a few years ago.

  • dhall

    If we combine Sarah and Michelle, will we get at least a halfwit?

  • busterggi

    The income from selling the ‘come-back’ tour tee-shirts alone will put Bachmann in the spotlight. Maybe she can get Herman Cain to open for her.

  • John Pieret

    big plans to “be in the national media,” … writing weekly columns and perhaps even a book

    I hope she stocked up on Crayolas.

  • shadow

    @20: I’m thinking Crayolas are too advanced — fingerpaint is more her style.