Glenn Beck Explains Why Nicki Minaj Isn’t Kosher Enough

Glenn Beck says he’s now cured of that mysterious, non-existent illness that made him sound “crazy,” but that doesn’t keep him from still making long, rambling, bizarre diatribes like this one. He explains how a Nicki Minaj video isn’t kosher and we should all keep kosher (I haven’t seen the video and have no desire to do so; I couldn’t possibly give any less of a fuck about Nicki Minaj).

Saying that the video is “the most degrading thing I have seen,” Beck then sought to explain that this video was somehow a violation of the Torah’s requirement to keep kosher because it was mixing “graphic, awful sex with the images of death.”

God commands Jews to keep kosher, Beck explained, because “milk is life” and “meat is death” and so “you don’t put life and death together.” And that is exactly what Nicki Minaj did in her video, Beck said, which is why, when you see it, “every warning bell in you goes off.”

“That’s not keeping kosher,” he said. “You’re mixing life and death. You put those two together, it is the height of evil, okay? That’s what God is trying to tell us with keeping kosher. That’s sacred! Creating life is sacred. Death, not good! Don’t put those two together. Well, that’s what happened. When you see that video, that’s exactly what happened.”

Here’s the video:

httpv://youtu.be/t9c3jMtkTNc

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  • kosk11348

    Yes, putting milk and meat together is exactly like a violent snuff film. You don’t put life and death together. Cheeseburgers are morally equivalent to torturing someone to death.

    Sigh. People pay to listen to insights like these?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    To be fair, Nicki Minaj is pretty bad.

  • http://www.holytape.etsy.com holytape

    Is word salad kosher?

  • vmanis1

    I don’t think he understands kashrut. I’m certainly no expert on it myself, being a Reform Jew who doesn’t follow it at all. But I will point out that if you tell an observant Jew that `meat=death’, s/he may well laugh at you and offer you some chopped liver, chicken, pastrami, brisket, or some similar dish. Observant Jews buy their meat at a kosher butcher, after all.

    However, he is onto something. A lot of Jewish ritual descends from notions of not mixing things together (e.g., clothes made from two fabrics, two crops in the same field, etc.). The meat/milk thing may have something to do with that, or might not (it descends from the injunction not to boil a young goat in its mother’s milk, which might be some kind of reference to some kind of religious ritual). I think everyone would prefer to keep unmixed the two categories of `sane discourse’ and `Glenn Beck’.

  • Kevin Kehres

    I’m telling you…Beck is trying to start a new religion.

    Kosher Mormonism (with a little Bad Santa mixed in).

    Every day, he steps one inch further away from rationality. The cliff is coming.

  • raven

    Every day, he steps one inch further away from rationality. The cliff is coming.

    Probably not.

    Many or most of these people seem to be “stable within their categories”. They never get better but never get worse.

    Beck isn’t doing anything now that he wasn’t doing long ago, when he was an obscure AM Top 40 radio DJ. He just has more fans and a fortune estimated at $100 million.

  • raven

    “You’re mixing life and death. You put those two together, it is the height of evil, okay? That’s what God is trying to tell us with keeping kosher. That’s sacred!

    So where does eating pork or shellfish fit in here. Are clams life or death? How about ham? Ham is certainly dead but so are steaks or halibut when you cook them.

    This is really exactly what it looks like. Gibberish from one who isn’t too concerned with making sense.

  • bushrat

    And here I thought Beck was a Mormon, but apparently he’s Jewish.

  • eric

    @5 and @8 – yeah, that was my thought too. WTF is a mormon doing defending kosher practices as necessary? Is that something about mormonism I didn’t know about?

    Nice glasses BTW, Beck. Are those plastic lenses in a steel frame?

  • Loqi

    I wasn’t aware I was supposed to eat the music videos.

  • Kevin Kehres

    @7 raven….

    Well, think about it…shellfish doesn’t dry like bony fish do, nor are they amenable to salt curing. For a people with no ice, it doesn’t take more than 3 days’ experience to know that shellfish is a bad dietary idea. Plus … have you looked at a lobster? No wonder the US plantation owners fed those things to the slaves.

    Pork? Dunno. The whole trichinosis thing doesn’t really fly, since plenty of people around them were eating pork with impunity. Could be, pigs are not quite as transportable in a nomadic culture compared with sheep and goat. But given the fact that archaeologists have dispelled the myth of the “wandering Jew” (the people were always a mixture of herders and in-place farmers located in that geographic region), it’s more likely just a way to distinguish in-group from out-group. That’s OK…more bacon for me.

  • eric

    Kevin @11:

    Pork? Dunno.

    I always figured the early Jews might be against them because they were omnivores. With cows, goats, and sheep you know exactly what went into that animal…and what didn’t. With a pig…could be offal for all you know. They were disgusted by it and turned their feelings of disgust into a religious proscription.

    In the same way, I know people today who won’t eat bottom-feeders (sea creatures including shellfish but also some types of regular fish). They don’t make a religious proscription out of it, but I’m guessing the same basic rationale is behind both.

  • busterggi

    Perhaps Beck should check with Michael Savage, who claims the US is a god-created country for only Christians, about what is or isn’t kosher.

  • magistramarla

    Beck claims to be cured of a neurological disorder and a possible autoimmune disease? As someone who has both, I can say for certain that he is full of shit. Either he didn’t have such illnesses in the first place, or he’s in for a big surprise when his symptoms come roaring back.

  • doublereed

    It comes from a passage that says, effectively “do not cook a goat in its mother’s milk” which is a far more specific than not mixing meat and milk (especially if it’s chicken which don’t even have milk). I’m not sure where he gets “mixing life and death” (I’ve certainly never heard that) from but I guess that’s just as valid as other religious arguments.

    The real question I have now is whether Glenn Beck keeps kosher.

  • doublereed

    Although, I think he means mixing birth or nursing and death.

    Milk isn’t… alive…

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    I’m with those who are perplexed that a Mormon presumes to lecture someone who’s not even Jewish about being kosher.

    No one is lecturing Beck about his conspicuous lack of wives.

  • John Pieret

    Kevin @ 113 & eric @ 12:

    My theory is that the early Israelites lived in the hills while the more sophisticated Philistines (Sea Peoples) lived along the coast in (at least proto) cities. Pigs are good city food animals, not needing a lot of space to roam and can be fed largely on human garbage. Coastal dwellers would also take advantage of shellfish/clams/oysters, while hill dwellers would mostly have fresh water fish with scales. Then the problem would be how do you keep ’em up in the hills, once they’ve seen Tyre? You can try, at least, to make the city-dwellers the outgroup by declaring a large portion of their food “unclean.”

  • david

    @11: “archaeologists have dispelled the myth of the “wandering Jew” (the people were always a mixture of herders and in-place farmers located in that geographic region)”

    The term “wandering Jew” has nothing to do with the habits of the ancient Israelites. It’s a medieval Christian invention. They invented an immortal wandering jew so that they could evade the otherwise obviously false statement from Jesus, “Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”

    I’m still waiting.

  • velkyn

    @11

    seems like other cultures had no problem in salting shellfish: see oh, all of asia, e.g. saeujeot from Korea

    for a group of people who insist they have they only right god and supposedly the wisest man ever, they contributed essentially nothing to humanity.