Fischer: God ‘Quickened the Campaigns’ of Republicans

There are few things I find more amusing than the way fundamentalist Christians use language. Only in fundie circles will you ever hear the word “fellowship” as a verb, for example (“we’re going fellowshiping!”). Bryan Fischer provides a perfect example in claiming that God “quickened the campaigns” of Republican candidates:

“A good part of that evening, the pastors and the people in that congregation and all those across the country got down on their faces before God to repent of our sins, to seek God’s favor over this land because of the threat to religious liberty,” Fischer said. “And on Tuesday, we saw these resounding election results and I have to think there was a connection. When God’s people got on their faces in repentance in faith over the issue of religious liberty, how threatened it is in our land, how important it is, I think God heard those prayers and I believe he quickened the campaigns of those who are willing to stand for religious liberty and Tuesday, I think, was part of the fruit of those prayers and that repentance.”

What the hell does that mean? What the hell could it possibly mean? Tell us, Bryan, what specifically did God do? Did he magically change enough minds to make sure Republicans won? Then what happened to all that free will talk? Did he change their ballots after they cast them? Did he change the vote totals during the counting process?

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  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    God won’t do X because we have free will. Until God decides he wants X, so he ignores free will and convinces a bunch of people to do his bidding. Sounds like typical passive-aggressive God. After all this is the same omnipotent being who lets one of his disobedient creations, Satan, run around causing havoc and causing people to be sent to Hell, and will continue to do so until he decides Jesus should come back to Earth.

  • D. C. Sessions

    You know all those anonymous SuperPACs? Yeah. The Big Guy is a contributor to make the Kochs, Soros, Adelson, and the rest disappear by comparison.

  • Wrath Panda

    /unlurks

    Quickened the campaigns? He’s going full Highlander on us! There can be only one!

    /re-lurks

  • John Pieret

    I think it translates as: “We religious bigots got out the vote better than the Democrats.”

  • dingojack

    Leviticus 13:10-11

    10 And the priest shall see him: and, behold, if the rising be white in the skin, and it have turned the hair white, and there be quick raw flesh in the rising;

    11 It is an old leprosy in the skin of his flesh, and the priest shall pronounce him unclean, and shall not shut him up: for he is unclean.”

    So when do we get to have the newly elected (or re-elected) Republicans declared as ‘unclean’?

    Dingo

  • Sastra

    I’ve wondered about this very question — exactly how and where is God supposed to intervene in these campaigns? They never get specific.

    A believer once told me that God changes minds by “heart promptings.” He gives people a feeling which they then have the choice to ignore or respond to. Thus, you get Free Will and God’s active participation.

    When you think about it this is no more than an extrapolation of how most people believe God communicates with them. Most theists don’t actually claim to hear a voice. No, instead they have a thought, an idea — and if this thought or idea seems like the kind of thing God might want then it feels like it’s not coming from them. It’s an “inner voice” which comes from God.

    Unless it doesn’t work out. Then it turns out it was just their own thoughts and they forced their way into thinking it was God. But they knew — deep down, they must have. When it’s God you always know. After the fact.

  • dingojack

    See also Psalm 71:20 & 143:11, John 5:21, Acts 10:42, Romans 4:17 & 8:11, 1 Corinthians 15:36 & 15:45, Ephesians 2:1 & 2:5, 1 Peter 3:18 & 4:45 &etc.

    Dingo

  • abb3w

    He hardened the hearts of Republicans.

  • rationalinks

    I’m with Wrath Panda @3, sounds to me like Fischer is telling us the Quickening is coming. Pardon me while I break out my sword. Also, has anyone checked the status of the ozone layer?

    /nerd

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Didn’t you see the ads, “Brought to you by God for Republicans”?

     

    Sastra “heart promptings”

    Also a character name in an Ayn Rand novel. An evil character rather than a good one, so weak and sneaky instead of strong and…you know…rapey.

  • Trebuchet

    My impression is that “quicken” means “make pregnant”. I shudder to think what the POG will give birth to.

  • Sastra

    Modusopernandi #10 wrote:

    Sastra “heart promptings”

    Also a character name in an Ayn Rand novel.

    By curious coincidence, it’s also one of the favorite new baby names for hippies — as in “Heart Promptings Bliss Nature Sunshine Smith.”

  • Mobius

    Oh, I can just see the headlines…

    “God Accused of Vote Tampering”

  • naturalcynic

    Quickening is the first detection of fetal movements, usually occurring in the first half of the second trimester.

    Poor word choice in this context.

  • theguy

    Funny to see Adolf Fischsticks pretending to believe in religious freedom. As Mr. Brayton has documented before, in this case Fischsticks really means religious freedom for Christians only.

  • shadow

    Remember in Exodus that pharaoh was willing to let the Israelites leave, then goad would harden his heart — until the last plague, then he incites pharaoh to chase after them.

    So, free will, schmee will — god can play the game his way, amirite?

    /s

  • Anne Fenwick

    Quicken is an archaic verb, meaning to the coming to life, usually in the womb of previously inanimate matter.