Fischer Wants Papal Conclave to Pick GOP Presidential Nominee

Bryan Fischer is concerned that there are just too many good candidates that appeal to the religious right and that this diminishes their influence over the Republican primaries. So he wants to have Christian right leaders call the potential candidates before them, interrogate them and then pick one of them to support:

“Probe them and challenge them and test them and ask them really hard questions about what they would do as president of the United States with this issue or that issue,” Fischer said. “And get some promises from these guys.”

After said grilling, Religious Right leaders would then collectively decide “on one candidate that you as a group of leaders would recommend that the entire evangelical community gather behind.”

“It’s kind of like picking a Pope,” he said.

I think this is a brilliant idea. It would undoubtedly lead to schisms and infighting and that would be a lot of fun to watch.

httpv://youtu.be/HsSvq2t-2i0

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • D. C. Sessions

    … and then dust off the Republican rhetoric from 1960 about a President who takes orders from unelected and unaccounable religious figures.

  • scienceavenger

    Wait a minute. Didn’t I see in the news recently where a country had its religious leaders approve of the candidates running for president?

    Oh yeah. It was Iran.

  • tsig

    I thought religious organizations were not supposed to meddle in politics lest they lose their tax exemption.

  • cptdoom

    Well there’s already a de facto religious test for the GOP nomination, this would just codify it.

  • themadtapper

    Wait a minute. Didn’t I see in the news recently where a country had its religious leaders approve of the candidates running for president?

    Oh yeah. It was Iran.

    Hey now, it’s completely different when Christians do it. What’s that? You want to know the difference? Why because these are Christians and those are Muslims. Isn’t that obvious?

  • grumpyoldfart

    Poor old Fischer. He thinks that when the time comes, he will be up at the top, advising the President what to do next. In fact it is more likely he will be regarded as an annoying little twerp and find himself out of the loop within a couple of weeks of the election.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Sure, Us Conservative Christians want to pick our candidate, but it’s not like you HomoMuslimCommunoAthiestUteros don’t do the same for your own party!

  • raven

    Fischer Wants Papal Conclave to Pick GOP Presidential Nominee

    They did this not too long ago.

    Sarah Palin was picked for VP by Tony Perkins and James Dobson among other fundie vaguely humanoid toad leaders.

    And look how well that worked out.

  • eric

    he wants to have Christian right leaders call the potential candidates before them, interrogate them and then pick one of them to support

    Isn’t that the basic goal of a national convention? I know they’ve basically been turned into rah-rah confett drops, but once upon a time I thought the parties held conventions so that the candidates could outline their policy positions, say how they differed from each other, and then the party could decide which candidate they wanted to run in the general election.

  • Trebuchet

    @3:

    I thought religious organizations were not supposed to meddle in politics lest they lose their tax exemption.

    True, but it’s never enforced. The closest we’ve come to any enforcement was the subpoenas issued in Houston a few weeks ago. All that did was give the religious right something to claim persecution about.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Trebuchet ” All that did was give the religious right something to claim persecution about.”

    To be fair, even if we do nothing, they’ll claim it anyway.

  • abb3w

    @8ish, raven

    They did this not too long ago.

    Back around 2012, actually, with a group getting together behind Santorum. He lasted until April before dropping out.

    Essentially, they’ve tried this already, and only demonstrated ability to get a credible runner up to a party nomination.

  • Francisco Bacopa

    Fischer should be careful when he asks the Conclave to “probe” the candidates. You can’t be sure how they will interpret that.

  • Kevin Kehres

    How is this any different from the Iowa caucuses?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Francisco Bacopa, plus Harry Potter & the Conclave’s Probe was the weakest of the series.

  • ShowMetheData

    Worked for the Supreme Court

  • Crimson Clupeidae

    We need to make sure to sneak someone in there with some hidden cameras!

    Just make sure they have a good exit strategy for when things start getting violent.

  • jnorris

    First the Religious Rightards have to decide who is, and more importantly, who isn’t a genuine Teabola Partying patriotic chickenhawk True Christian ™ Religious Rightard White Elderly Male Leader. That could take months and lots of blood shed.

  • Larry

    Here’s my suggestion for RWNJ selection:

    Why don’t we pick Mongo?

  • peterh

    As others have pointed out, they do this sort of thing – without coming out of the closet about it – already; sometimes it works less badly than at others.

  • lorn

    Last I looked the US constitution has a clause that prevented the requirement for religious testing for office. Buttttt … the idea is sweet, sweet, and totally delicious mind candy for religious authoritarians … they cannot resist the idea.