Beck Once Again Declares Himself to Be a Prophet

Beck is once again declaring himself to be a prophet with a direct line to God. Looking at recent events he boldly says that “I see the future” and absurdly claims, yet again, that he’s always right in his predictions even if the connections are tenuous and far in the future.

Citing the hostage situation in Australia, the economic crisis in Russia, and an anti-Islam protest in Germany, Glenn Beck opened his television program last night by declaring that he had predicted all of these things years ago, telling his audience not to listen to experts but rather listen to him because he can see the future.

“I’m bad on the timing,” Beck said about his ability to make predictions, “but they all come true. God help us because I see the future and you better buckle up.”…

“We have shown you the caliphate before it came. We showed you al Qaeda. I warned you of Osama bin Laden in 1999, before anybody else was. We have shown you some really scary things that have happened,” he said. “I beg you not to listen to the experts in this country anymore. The fools disguised in tweet jackets or ascots of the Ivy League campuses. The scholars and the experts and those who have been around in the State Department forever, blah, blah, blah. They couldn’t find their way through an unlocked door in a locksmith shop. They come on TV and they lecture you about how is fine and everything was in a box. I have news for you: I believe it was the great philosopher Depeche Mode that said ‘nothing is impossible.’ Life is outside of the box now and if you’re inside of the box, you’ll suffocate.”

I’ll make a prediction now: Bad things will happen in the future. And when bad things happen, you’ll know that I’m a prophet. Hey Glenn, what happened with that Saudi student you said was the “bag man” for the Boston Marathon bombing? And your promise that you would expose the truth if the government didn’t?

httpv://youtu.be/Lb2Nn6vURUo

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  • dingojack

    Bek foresaw the events in Australia, right down to some guy with mental health issues taking over the Lindt Café (53 Martin Place) and didn’t call the cops, the FBI, the Australian Consulate, nobody. Way to go Glen!

    Dingo

    ———

    Here’s a question for ya Glennie, did ya foresee #illridewithyou too?

  • dingojack

    How about this Glennie, did god tell you that too? Or is he only interested in ‘putting the hatez’ on Muslims? @@

    Dingo

  • John Pieret

    Glennie has come out with some new “predictions.” Here are some of the best:

    Russian expansion into the Ukraine and beyond

    Ever heard of the Crimea, Glenn?

    War in the Middle East War involving Syria and Iran

    Ummm … Glenn, are you paying attention at all?

    Terrorist attacks in Pakistan

    Been there, done that, have the T-shirt.

    Terrorist attacks spreading into India

    A little place called Mumbai …

    It goes on in the same vein … either “predicting” things that are already happening and likely to continue happening or saying that there will be “chaos” in something or other, like the banking system or in politics, that is so vague that any hiccup can be made out to be “chaos.” About the only thing he is even vaguely specific about is his prediction that the US will suffer hyper-inflation, which every economy suffers sooner or later.

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/how-glenn-beck-accurately-predicts-future#sthash.v5dYHvHr.dpuf

  • Larry

    I’m bad on the timing

    Isn’t the whole idea of predictions to state what is going to happen and when? It sort of takes the magic out if you don’t specify the spatial and temporal coordinates, donchathink? It makes one go from being a prophet to a side show grifter, about which Beck knows plenty.

  • raven

    I can predict the future too.

    I prophecy that Glenn Beck will transfer a nontrivial payment to a certain Saudi student he libeled as the Boston Marathon bomber.

  • birgerjohansson

    Among the gods, I prefer Ganesha the elephant god. He can stomp out the average prophet in ten seconds flat. But maybe Beck can use his prophetic powers to duck and outmanouver him, seeing all the moves in advance and everything?

    .

    “God help us because I see the future anSPLAT!”

  • http://www.dexterityunlimited.com/ Dan J

    I have news for you: I believe it was the great philosopher Depeche Mode that said ‘nothing is impossible.’

    Now he’s sounding like someone else we know with the initials ‘DM.’

  • Michael Heath

    Glenn Beck states:

    . “I beg you not to listen to the experts in this country anymore. The fools disguised in tweet jackets or ascots of the Ivy League campuses.”

    I think this is Glenn Beck’s way of putting a move on Sarah Palin.

  • Michael Heath

    Glenn Beck states:

    I believe it was the great philosopher Depeche Mode that said ‘nothing is impossible.’

    I bet Glenn Beck couldn’t legitimately graduate from a credible university in any B.S. program.

  • dingojack

    Do ‘tweet jackets’ come with they’re own built-in hashtags?

    Dingo

  • moarscienceplz

    Beck is once again declaring himself to be a prophet profit

    FIFY

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Right, Glenn, you warned America of Osama…

    …a year AFTER al Qaeda was involved in bombing the US Embassy in Nairobi.

  • lorn

    Well … lets try my chops a prophet:

    People will do bad things.

    People will die.

    Someone somewhere will make predictions that viewed after the fact might be interpreted as warnings not heeded.

    Good people will suffer; bad people will triumph more often than not.

    The sun, or the horizon, will rise and set.

    I have great confidence in these prophecies.