How Glenn Beck’s Predictions Are Like a Fake Psychic

Glenn Beck has repeatedly claimed to be a prophet, saying that virtually everything he has ever predicted has come true. On his radio show this week he showed how he does this and it’s just like a “psychic” does a cold reading — make a huge number of vague claims that can be made to fit virtually any situation.

On his radio show today, Beck hauled out his trusty chalkboard upon which he wrote down his thoughts about President Obama, Russia, and the North Korea/Sony hacking incident in order lay out at least 20 absurdly vague predictions about looming global chaos and conflict:

  • Chaos in Russia
  • Russian expansion into the Ukraine and beyond
  • War with the West
  • War in the Middle East
  • War involving Syria and Iran and possibly North Korea
  • Chaos in Europe
  • Muslim extremists in Europe
  • Nazis/Communists/Anarchists in Europe
  • A caliphate in the Middle East
  • Terrorist attacks in Pakistan
  • Terrorist attacks spreading into India
  • Terrorism in Australia
  • Terrorism spreading into Asia
  • Communists in South America
  • Hyper-inflation
  • Border conflicts
  • Chaos in the United States
  • Race riots in the United States
  • Political chaos
  • Banking chaos
  • The rise of a police state

“It’s what’s coming,” Beck warned.

In other words: “I’m getting the letter J. Does that have any meaning to you? Do you know anyone whose name begins with J?” You throw enough bullshit at the wall and some of it is bound to stick. This is how you become a “prophet” when you have an audience full of credulous and ignorant people with an overwhelming need to believe.

httpv://youtu.be/2DDXisbheOM

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • John Pieret

    War in the Middle East

    Who’d have ever thunk it!

  • caseloweraz

    “It’s what’s coming,” Beck warned.

    When he predicts something specific, like Andorra taking over San Marino or Chilean extremists occupying the Biscoe Islands, and that thing subsequently happens, I’ll sit up and take notice.

  • Artor

    Naom Chomsky, who is booked for speaking engagements years in advance, is sometimes asked what topic he’ll be discussing. His go-to is the conflict in the Middle East. Because there’s always a fucking conflict in the Middle East.

    As for the headline; “fake” psychic? Is there another kind?

  • Sastra

    He forgot to predict a scandal in Hollywood.

  • busterggi

    Hey, its good enough to make him a Mormon prophet.

  • thebookofdave

    Chomsky is a crackpot, Artor. If his ideas were any good, he would have been booked for centuries in the past. Are you even paying attention to Glenn Beck’s chalkboard? All of his stuff happened, just as he wrote it, and is still happening today! If only we had listened to him a century ago, things would have turned out different.

    Fuck it, I’m going to book him for a conference in 1298. The Caliphate has had plenty of play time, but they’re getting disruptive. They should get a time out before the Ottomans take over.

  • tsig

    “Hey, its good enough to make him a Mormon prophet.”

    Needs more hat.

  • http://www.catmelodeon.com Cat Mara

    Meanwhile, while Beck fulminates against a “police state”, my Twitter feed is full of nausea-inducing pictures of privileged white arseholes (like this one) ostentatiously declaiming their support for the cops. Cognitive dissonance, they has it.

  • Michael Duchek

    He forgot o mention an earthquake somewhere on the Pacific Rim.

    I don’t get why the far right is always forecasting race riots. They’re obsessed with them. And I wonder if they classify the current protests as race riots.

  • dingojack

    Michael – of course they do — see all those uppity niggers *urban* types out on the streets, violently rioting by sticking their hands in the air and shouting: ‘Hands up. Don’t shoot!’? Why it’s practically begging cops to gun them down (no wait) shoot (that’s not right either) fatally arrest them (ah! Much more media-friendly).

    Convene another Grand Jury Len — we’re gonna need more whitewash!

    Dingo