Klingenschmitt’s Obamacare Alternative: Dr. Jesus

Gordon Klingenschmitt has come up with a brilliant alternative not only to the Affordable Care Act but to having go see a doctor for any reason: You could just pray about it and rely on Jesus to heal you. I wonder how much Dr. Jesus charges for a knee transplant? And if this really works, why do Christians ever get sick at all?

Citing a passage from Exodus 15, Klingenschmitt asserted that God will protect people from disease so long as they obey His commands and said that Americans “ought to look to the Lord for our healthcare.”

“I personally prefer to look to almighty God as my healer and not to the government as a substitute god or substitute healer,” he said, before praying that this nation would “repent of worshiping President Obama as if he is a god.”

httpv://youtu.be/exSqyEChCWA

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  • http://www.electricminstrel.com Brett McCoy

    This guy is a never ending source of entertainment.

  • daved

    “I personally prefer to look to almighty God as my healer”

    With any luck, nature will remove this guy from the public scene. Assuming, of course, he’s not some sort of hypocrite who actually goes to the doctor when really sick. (There’s a long precedent for that kind of thing.)

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    before praying that this nation would “repent of worshiping President Obama as if he is a god.”

    Gospel According to the Socialists 16:4-6; “For Obama is a Just God, and you shall have a Medicaid expansion [YMMV] and access to standardized, private healthcare insurance available on an open, state or federally-run website, with subsidies for those below a certain threshold of income.”

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    “I personally prefer to look to almighty God as my healer”

    Sure, he is a competent healer. But what about your tank? Your DPS? Jesus? the Holy Spirit? Good luck. Those guys are noobs! You will never beat any end-game content with just a good healer. L2Play, bro!

  • Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

    The best take I know of on Divine Health Care:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZeWPScnolo

  • Alverant

    I personally prefer to look to almighty God as my healer and not to the government as a substitute god or substitute healer

    So does that mean he’s willing to give up the lifetime healthcare Congress-critters get?

  • http://www.clanfield.net janiceintoronto

    Oh look! A crazy man!

  • 12ab

    While he was on active duty in the military, Klinger made as many trips to sick bay as any other person. When he was not permitted to remain on active duty one of his whining complaints was that the Navy was taking his health care away from him.

  • eamick

    So does that mean he’s willing to give up the lifetime healthcare Congress-critters get?

    He’s in the CO state legislature, not Congress. I’d also remind you that members of Congress pay premiums for their healthcare like all other Federal employees, even in retirement.

  • Erp

    He obviously hasn’t read Job.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    eamick “I’d also remind you that members of Congress pay premiums for their healthcare like all other Federal employees, even in retirement.”

    To doctor Jesus?

  • dugglebogey

    There once was a man who got caught in a flood and was trapped on the roof of his house. A man came along on a raft to save him but he said “I don’t need your raft, god will save me.” A bit later a man on a rowboat came by and the guy again declined saying “I don’t need your rowboat, god will save me. Next a man on a yacht came by and the once more the guy said “I don’t need your yacht, god will save me.” The waters rose and the man drowned. In heaven he went to god and said “Why didn’t you save me?” and god said “I sent a raft, a rowboat and a yacht….”

    What if Obamacare is from god?

  • anubisprime

    Of course if god fearing morons listen to klingonshit’…then it might thin the herd out a fair tad…it can be hoped…although I trust not prayed for 😉

    Seems when push comes to shove then faith tends to take a back seat mostly in matters health for example like Mother Teresa who inexplicably chose to have a modicum of comfort in her dying days rather then endure the pain she insisted very

    many of her patients suffer, apparently cos jeebus suffered as well…go figure?

    Classic Munchhausen by proxy without the hospital admission bit and the RCC want to make her a fuckin’ saint…really go figure, or she was just a plain old fashioned sadist…you decide!

    Of course for the run of the mill fundy retard community the kids are the ones that really suffer if they ever become seriously ill, cos the dangled possible kudos of imbecile parents impressing their brain dead relatives and brain dead jeebus whining retards in their congregation, becomes to much of a temptation to resist.

    They have righteousness to boast…they take every every opportunity to demonstrate how they are gods chosen little sunbeams!

    And more often then not they actually kill the kid, but jeebus will surely understand cos their peers certainly do and praise them for it….and cretins like klingonshit’ encourage them to potentially kill their own kids.

  • D. C. Sessions

    He obviously hasn’t read Job.

    Job is part of the Old Testament, and has been superceded by Jesus.

  • Michael Heath

    Ed’s blog post title:

    Klingenschmitt’s Obamacare Alternative: Dr. Jesus

    Sue Lowden’s chickens for healthcare plan was a better alternative.

  • U Frood

    Job is part of the Old Testament, and has been superceded by Jesus

    I never understood that, how did God killing his son earn him forgiveness for the evils he did in the old Testament?

  • hunter

    “Job is part of the Old Testament, and has been superceded by Jesus.”

    Tell that to the clowns with their heads stuck up their Leviticus.

  • matty1

    In the Obama versus Jesus stakes, Obama does have the advantage of existing

  • Acolyte of Sagan

    Slightly pedantic maybe, but shouldn’t the words on the screen behind Klingenschmitt read ‘Pray In Jesus’ (or even Jesus’s) Name.

    When the phrase if you’ve got it, flaunt it was coined, I don’t think that the it in question was ignorance.

  • Acolyte of Sagan

    Pedantic note to self; always end a question with a question mark.

    DOH!

  • hrafn

    … before praying that this nation would “repent of worshiping President Obama as if he is a god.

    He obviously hasn’t seen Obama’s polling results recently. Or maybe anything less severe than impeachment counts as “worship” in his universe.

  • grumpyoldfart

    My grandfather (another grumpy old fart) always disparaged doctors. “I don’t want those butchers anywhere near me,” he used to say. Then he had a stroke at the breakfast table and couldn’t nod his head fast enough when granny asked if he wanted a doctor.

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    Dear Wingnuts:

    1. Obamacare will murder millions by throwing everyone off their insurance, death panels, blah blah blah.

    2. Obamacare will make everyone lazy by giving them too much health care they don’t deserve, taking the place of Jesus, blah blah blah.

    Please pick just one.

  • Erp

    Job is part of the Old Testament, and has been superceded by Jesus.

    So is Exodus which he quoted.

    For New Testament, Paul says he was afflicted in some way, begged God to heal him and got no healing (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

  • lorn

    I propose a test. We’ll use a crowbar to break Klingenschmitt’s leg. Then we give him 24 hours to pray it fixed. To make sure he is praying fervently enough to make this a fair test we make it clear that every 24 hours the leg isn’t healed we will break another limb. It at any time he changes his mind he can simply admit that Jesus isn’t going to heal him and we can haul him off to an ER. I expect a clear and unequivocal answer in, figuring you can beak each twice, under eight days.

  • Nemo

    And if this really works, why do Christians ever get sick at all?

    Because their faith wasn’t strong enough. Duh.

    Alternate answer: Because God had a different plan. His ways are mysterious, blah blah blah. Keep praying, even though it doesn’t mean anything, because God’s gonna do what he wants anyway.

  • arakasi

    Some years back, my wife worked as an orthopedic PA for the Dept of Defense. She never had a soldier, sailor, airman or marine return an artificial limb because the leg grew back. So, either the level of religious faith in the military is remarkably low, or Klingenschmitt is full of it.

  • dingojack

    Hey Fruity Gordo – John 11:4. God, whadda guy!

    Dingo

  • dingojack

    If I pay higher premiums do I get My Own, Personal Jesus, Fruity?

    Dingo

  • emc2

    Says the guy who had all that free government provided health care during his time in the Navy.

  • thebookofdave

    From Exodus 15:26

    if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians

    Sounds like a protection racket to me. In the Exodus account, God never heals anyone of a disease that he did not originally inflict. With few exceptions (boils, lice, dead children), the plagues of Egypt were not even physical ailments. Even in the context of this verse, God heals no one, although he did clean up a public health hazard (the bitter waters of Marah).

    Actually, the protection scheme seems to describe Christianity’s overall model for justifying its existence, which is to threaten everyone with the most awful harm imaginable and claim they are the only ones with a remedy for sale. So at least Klingenschmitt’s latest rant is consistent with his cult’s core mission objectives.