‘Coach’ Dave Wants a ‘Christian Values Party’

“Coach” Dave Daubenmire is fed up with the Republican party and says it’s time to form a new Christian Values Party, which I strongly encourage him and all of his fellow bigots and wingnuts to do. But he begins with this cartoonish understanding of Hegel:

Like so many others, I have been warning for quite some time that the Republican Party is a fraud. I began to see through the facade about a dozen years ago.

The American political world is a two-card Monte. The Hegelian Dialectic calls it “thesis/anti-thesis”. In a nutshell, the Hegelian Dialectic is a process whereby the ends are played against the middle.

And this is why universities don’t let uneducated football coaches teach in their philosophy departments.

If we want to save this nation, we must engage in the political debate with unashamed, Christian values. The Republicans mouth the values, but they don’t truly believe in them. Do John Boehner, Mitch McConnell and the Republican leadership exemplify and codify into law Biblical values? Of course not! Why do we elect Republicans to be the standard bearers of Christian beliefs? Why don’t we start electing openly Christian officials who will unashamedly fight for Christian values?

Who speaks for you, Mr. Christian? Who puts the Gospel at the top of their platform, Mrs. Christian? Karl Rove? Chris Christie? Jeb Bush? Why do we expect them to support principles they themselves do not believe in? To the Republicans, Christians are nothing more than a voting block (or should I say, stumbling block?).

A strong Christian values party with unashamed Christian leaders would draw from many different constituencies. Blacks are Christians. Whites are Christians. The young are Christians. The elderly are Christians. We must help them realize that only Christ and His precepts can ultimately bring true liberty. A nation cannot survive without a clear standard of right and wrong…

The Tea Party has shown that grassroots activism can work, but the impact will be diminished if we cast our lot with the leadership of McConnell, Boehner and their ilk. A Christian Party would force the RINOS to compromise with us.

It is time for the Tea Party to stop catering to the libertarians. Let’s put Jesus and His values at the top of the ticket, and unashamedly stand for the God we claim to serve.

I think this is a magnificent idea. You should run with it, Dave. And tell all your friends.

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • dugglebogey

    Seriously. Atheists are free to walk the streets. Women can get abortions in a lot of the states. Even MUSLIMS are allowed to have their own mosques! Republicans are CLEARLY not doing their jobs.

  • John Pieret

    Matt Barber has also announced that he is no longer a Republican:

    http://www.wnd.com/2014/12/i-repent-and-have-left-the-gop/

    If the GOP continues on its Democrat-lite trajectory, I can guarantee that the Christian-conservative base will abandon it, as it has abandoned us. Although we’d rather take the Ronald Reagan approach and reform the party from within, I can promise that we will, if that becomes a lost cause, form a new, principled, conservative “values voters” third party.

    At least Barber is within hailing distance of reality and realizes what a moderately successful 3rd party would mean:

    If that happens, Democrats will rule the roost indefinitely.

    Can we lend you a knife to cut off your nose?

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    “If the GOP continues on its Democrat-lite trajectory,”

    Funny, I always thought it was the Dems who were being GOP-not-so-heavy!

  • U Frood

    What advice does the Bible give about creating jobs? About curbing the deficit? About immigration reform? About achieving peace in the middle east?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    The Tea Party has shown that grassroots activism can work…

    …with corporate sponsorship. And non-stop FoxNews coverage.

     

    A Christian Party would force the RINOS to compromise with us.

    Which is different from now because reasons.

     

    It is time for the Tea Party to stop catering to the libertarians. Let’s put Jesus and His values at the top of the ticket, and unashamedly stand for the God we claim to serve.

    Done and done. Kind of easily, actually. Didn’t even have to start a new party. Still, there are RINOs to purge. Always will be.

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    Oh, please, please, please Santa. This is all I want for Christmas!

    Signed, your friend.

    P.S. I’ll leve you egstra cokies and milk.

  • Samuel Vimes

    I also fully support this further splintering of the political right. I particularly love the ideas they have that they’re losing support because they’re not being far enough to the right. It’s like they’re unironically embracing the Will Rogers quote: “Stupidity got us in to this mess, why can’t it get us out?”

  • Sastra

    What the hell’s wrong with the Constitution Party???

    Well, yes, pretty much everything. But I mean from Coach Dave’s perspective.

  • whheydt

    Re; U Frood @ #4….

    The Bible gives advice on the last point. It shows that one should defeat ones enemies and kill all of them except those that you deem to be suitable sex-slaves.

  • pocketnerd

    It’s a great illustration of how absolutely bonkers the Elephant Echo Chamber has become, when you hear Fox News geezers complaining that the wingiest, nuttiest Republican Party in decades is not wingy or nutty enough.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    pocketnerd, to be fair, none of the GOP people he named were True Believers. So there!

  • raven

    What the hell’s wrong with the Constitution Party???

    Well, yes, pretty much everything. But I mean from Coach Dave’s perspective.

    The problem is that Coach Dave isn’t the head of it. Plus he isn’t very bright and may not have even heard of it.

    While a xian extremist party is every normal person’s dream come true, since they remove themselves to their own reservation of fundie xian values of hate, lies, and hypocrisy, it isn’t going to happen.

    It would end up like their last three New American Revolutions in Washington DC. With a few dozen members at the most. For them it is like herding flatworms.

  • busterggi

    The TP claims to be non-sectarian remember.

    Of course it also claims to represent the majority and be sane.

  • grumpyoldfart

    But what if they win?

  • Synfandel

    We’ve had one of those in Canada for the last 27 years. It’s called the Christian Heritage Party. It regularly polls between 0.1% and 0.3% of the popular vote. It serves as a safety valve for some of the more unhinged voices on the right. Its candidates are quite entertaining at the all-candidates’ debates. I highly recommend that you Americans get one.

  • yoav

    And this is why universities don’t let uneducated football coaches teach in their philosophy departments.

    Unfortunately, they often pay said football coach more then what they pay the entire faculty of their philosophy department.

  • http://timgueguen.blogspot.com timgueguen

    Crap, Synfandel beat me to posting about the CHP. I wouldn’t be surprised if an American equivalent got a higher vote percentage, but not enough to make a difference in who gets elected.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    In a nutshell, the Hegelian Dialectic is a process whereby the ends are played against the middle.

    Quite true, once you recognize the nutshell in question as Daubenmire’s skull.

  • lorn

    Success, and the desire to have their narrow agenda take president, may do what twenty years of trench warfare has failed to do.

  • peterh

    The most abused word of 2014 is “values.” It’s been mauled & manipulated to mean anything and everything therefore nothing. And Daubenmire’s bible tells me I am not to kindle a fire in my house on the sabbath; in a north Maine winter that’s going to lead to some rather thorny issues.

  • dingojack

    timgueguen – CHP? Is Erik Estrada a member?

    😉 Dingo

  • conway

    Are there elections in the Bible? Democracy? Political parties?

  • http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

    A “Christian Values Party”? Why is my first thought to wonder who will be bringing the hootch and sex workers?

  • anubisprime

    John Pieret @ 2

    Matt Barber has also announced that he is no longer a Republican

    Of course all that does is confirm to lame brains in the rethug movement that, after all, there is indeed a god as advertized ..no doubt the relief will be enormous on both accounts.

  • anubisprime

    Gregory in Seattle @ 23

    And who might I ask has Matt got lined up to carry the luggage?…cos after all he seems convinced that single handedly he has done battle with the forces of gaydom and emerged triumphant…so no ‘porters’ available in his world…and no reason for good xtians to waste their time not getting what they want, what they want. what they really really want!

    I think he better think it out again!

  • anubisprime

    @ 25…

    ‘Matt’ should read ‘Dave’…jus sayin’, gets harder to distinguish the retards as time goes on, all much of a muchness!

  • dono

    Coach Dave says “The Republicans mouth the values, but they don’t truly believe in them.” Yeah, no shit, you dumbass. That’s how they’ve managed to get you morons to support an agenda that is designed to screw you and every other nonbillionaire in the country. Doy!

  • pacal

    Of course by “true liberty” people like Dave mean theocracy and the rule of “Saints”. Thus in their doublethink minds liberty means tyranny and to modify Orwell slavery is freedom.

  • jnorris

    Please, someone ask Coach Dave why all the True Christian ™ prayers to make

    America a Christian nation have failed.

  • marym

    Daubenmire ran for State Rep. Ohio as a Republican in 2010. He borrowed his campaign slogan from Superman: “fighting for truth, justice and the American way”. Three of his friends polished up their pickups, added some campaign signs, and drove Daubenmire around in a little parade to small town coffeeshops and parks to meet and greet voters. Daubenmire stated that he was “having a ball” running for office. He thrived on the attention and interviews, and even got to be on teevee! Daubenmire is a self-important , self-righteous attention-seeker who can’t keep his big loud mouth shut. He’s always been his own worst enemy because he can’t learn from his mistakes. He’s not wrong, everyone else is! Much of his writing his based on the premise that he has it All Figured Out and anyone who doesn’t see things his way is blind, stupid, misguided or under the influence of the devil. He has zero credibility in Ohio. About 3 years ago, he was fired from a coaching job at a Christian school because he couldn’t get along with the administration. He applied for a coaching job at a small town Ohio high school recently and there was a very public protest. He didn’t get the job. http://www.forbes.com/sites/bobcook/2014/02/13/americas-most-christian-football-coach-rejected-from-job-actually-coaching-football/

  • caseloweraz

    A Christian Values Party with Christian candidates? Yeah, that’s it, that’s the ticket!

  • caseloweraz

    Pierce Butler (#18) wins today’s Internet.

  • caseloweraz

    Coach Dave: Why do we expect them to support principles they themselves do not believe in?

    Seeing as how many Christians claim to support the Constitution, but clearly do not believe in what it says, the question is relevant.

    To the Republicans, Christians are nothing more than a voting block (or should I say, stumbling block?)

    Verily I say unto you, many Christians do stumble in the way; wherefore they shall be called a stumbling block.

  • pocketnerd

    Thus Spake Zaracaseloweraz, #33:

    Coach Dave: Why do we expect them to support principles they themselves do not believe in?

    Seeing as how many Christians claim to support the Constitution, but clearly do not believe in what it says, the question is relevant.

    Bear in mind Teabaggers have a private lexicon that sounds superficially like English, but with numerous alternate meanings that can confuse the unwary. For example, in right-wing nutspeke, Family means “a romanticized version of the ‘nuclear family’ based on 1950s television shows.” So supporting The Family means putting the screws to countless real-world families which fail to conform to the Leave It To Beaver / Donna Reed archetype and therefore aren’t Families. Likewise, when wingnuts talk about The Constitution, they don’t mean the legal document drafted at the Philadelpha Convention; that’s merely a constitution and therefore hardly worth bothering about. The Constitution supersedes that silly piece of paper, as it is the Platonic ideal of wingnut government, handed down by Moses and ratified by God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. As a testament to its miraculous nature, The Constitution always conveniently says whatever reactionaries want it to say at that exact moment.