A Portland news site has a Dear Abby equivalent named Robin DesCamp and she got an absolutely ridiculous letter from a woman who just found that her son and future daughter-in-law are atheists and are having a secular wedding and they’re thinking about rescinding their offer to pay for the wedding reception if he doesn’t “compromise” — meaning “do it our way.”
My son is getting married in June and his father and I committed to paying for the reception when he and his fiancé became engaged last year. He is our only child and we are thrilled he is getting married. And we love his fiancé! So what’s the problem?
We raised our son in a very Christian household. He went to private Catholic school, including college, and religion has always been a central component of our lives. His grandparents, all of whom are still living, are also deeply religious.
So imagine my reaction when he announced there would be no mention of God during the ceremony and that rather than our family priest, he was having a friend conduct the wedding and that friend was ordained on the Internet! Apparently my son and his future wife are atheist, which came as a very disturbing surprise to me and his dad.His father and I are deeply disappointed and angry. This is not how we raised our son. Not only will we be very offended if God is ignored in the ceremony but I know his grandparents will be horrified.
We are considering withdrawing our offer to pay for the reception if he does not compromise and use our priest for a traditional Catholic wedding. His fiancé’s parents don’t have very much money so I don’t think they can just pick up the tab, nor can my son, who is just beginning his career in insurance.
We would still attend the wedding but don’t want to contribute financially if it is going to be a huge slap in the face to our family and our religious beliefs.
Thoughts? My best friend thinks I am being unreasonable, but my husband and I are in total agreement on this issue.
Robin was firm but entirely too kind in her response. My response would have started with “Dear bigoted asshole.” She’s basically blackmailing her own son to coerce him into following religious practices he doesn’t believe in because they do and they demand that he follow their traditions despite his disbelief. Fuck that. And fuck both parents.