Joseph Farah’s Dumbest Column Yet?

Joseph Farah, owner of the Worldnetdaily, routinely writes some of the dumbest columns in existence, but his column on the “war on Christmas” might be the dumbest one yet. It’s just one little nugget of stupid after the other, almost impressive in its sheer idiocy.

When I was a kid, Christmas was just about the biggest deal in the whole wide world.

As Jean Shepherd, the late screenwriter of “A Christmas Story,” would say, the entire annual calendar of kid-dom revolved around this holiday.

We’d start thinking about it in September. By Thanksgiving, there was a feeling of imminent inevitability. Hysteria began to set in by Dec. 1.

We didn’t just celebrate Christmas. Christmas Eve was nearly as big a deal. And we began a countdown in our household many days before that. Today, for instance, would be the eve of Christmas Eve. Yesterday was the eve of the eve of Christmas Eve, and so on.

With all the attacks on Christmas in recent years, I wonder how much of the fun and delight of Christmas has been robbed from our kids.

Kids get excited about Christmas because they get presents. Is the “war on Christmas” preventing kids from getting presents? No? Then you’re full of shit.

But, of course, the attacks are not really directed at Christmas, at all. Christmas is only a target of the secular jihadists of the American Civil Liberties Union and their co-conspirators at Americans United For Separation of Church and State; their ultimate goal is destroying what Christmas represents.

They remind me of the terrorists in the Middle East who say they want a state of their own, but what they really want is to destroy another state. Since they haven’t been able to achieve their goal in an all-out assault, they settle for getting there piece by piece.

We need an equivalent to Godwin’s law for comparing things to terrorists rather than Nazis. I dub thee Farah’s law.

And we should expect this. It’s just what Jesus told us to expect:

“Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you. …” – John 15:20

A talk-show host asked me once if I “feared” this persecution. I tried to explain that I don’t fear it, I welcome it. Because unless we pay a price for our belief in Jesus, our faith has not really been tested – we’re not really following in His footsteps.

Really? Then why do you spend half your life whining about such imaginary persecution? If you actually welcomed it, you’d stop complaining about it so much. I think you’re lying.

Think about this: Jesus came to Earth as a little, helpless baby.

Yeah, Joe. We all do. Some of us manage to grow out of it though.

He knew that even His very birth would result in worldly authorities attempting to hunt him down and slay Him in an effort to prevent Him from doing what He came to Earth to do – preach the gospel, go to the cross to atone for the sins of mankind and be resurrected.

This is actually one of the most ridiculous claims in the Bible, so ridiculous that only one of the gospel writers (whoever wrote the book of Matthew, and it certainly wasn’t Matthew) bothered to mention it. There is not a single shred of evidence that Herod ever did any such thing, of course, and you’d think that at least one Jewish or Roman historian might have noticed the wholesale slaughter of babies in the region. If someone found an anonymous letter 300 years from now claiming that President Obama had ordered the murder of every male child born in the United States in 2014 but there was no mention of it in a single newspaper, magazine or internet news site, who would actually believe it? I mean, other than Farah?

What his detractors don’t get is that the battle is over. The war is already won. It is finished.

You can invent new holidays to try to marginalize Christmas. You can change the words of “Silent Night.” You can tell little kids they can’t say “Merry Christmas” in school. You can do all kinds of things to try to get mankind to forget about Jesus.

But all it gets you, ultimately, is more company in hell.

Wow. I’ve never heard that one before.

Another reporter asked me who was winning the battle over Christmas.

The battle was won a long time ago, about 2,014 years ago, when a little baby was born in Bethlehem, a God-man who would become the Savior of the world.

Then maybe you should shut the fuck up about it.

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  • miles

    If someone found an anonymous letter 300 years from now claiming that President Obama had ordered the murder of every male child born in the United States in 2014 but there was no mention of it in a single newspaper, magazine or internet news site, who would actually believe it?

    Pff if someone found an anonymous letter RIGHT NOW claiming that… WND would run with it.

  • John Pieret

    With all the attacks on Christmas in recent years, I wonder how much of the fun and delight of Christmas has been robbed from our kids.

    Oh, yeah! I distinctly remember laying laying in bed Christmas eve unable to sleep, listening for the hooves of reindeer on the roof, with anticipation that we’d all rush down stairs next morning and run right past the tree on our way out to a sunrise Christmas service at our church. That was every kid’s fondest dream come Christmas.

  • matty1

    @1 You’re missing the most important point “300 years from now… who would actually believe it? I mean, other than Farah?”

    Joe Farah is going to still be alive in 300 years !1!eleventyone!!

  • raven

    Joseph Farah, owner of the Worldnetdaily, routinely writes some of the dumbest columns in existence, …

    That sums up the “Farah lifestyle”.

  • hunter

    Because no one else ever had a holiday at the Winter Solstice.

  • Sastra

    As Jean Shepherd, the late screenwriter of “A Christmas Story,” would say, the entire annual calendar of kid-dom revolved around this holiday.

    You know, I’ve watched that thing maybe a hundred times and I missed the part where everyone explains that the True Meaning of Christmas is Jesus Christ and the salvific nature of his blood sacrifice. I bet he’s confusing it with “Charlie Brown’s Christmas.”

    But, of course, the attacks are not really directed at Christmas, at all. Christmas is only a target … their ultimate goal is destroying what Christmas represents.

    As he say then, the attacks are not really directed at Christmas at all. That means it’s not a target, doesn’t it?

    Keep Christ in YOUR Christmas. Keep Church & State separate.

    Okay. I want a little sign for my front lawn next year. It will be covered with candy canes and ribbons and Santa Claus and a tree and happiness and love — and it will say, in beautiful scrolling script, “We Celebrate a Secular Christmas.” It will stand out then against the dozens of signs in my neighborhood which say either “Keep the Christ in Christmas” or “Jesus is the Reason for the Season.”

    No apologies, baby.

  • http://kamakanui.zenfolio.com Kamaka

    With all the attacks on Christmas in recent years

    OK Farah, I call bullshit on this one. Let’s see your list of all the attacks. With citations, please. You’re a journalist, you know how to do citations, right?

  • Erp

    This is actually one of the most ridiculous claims in the Bible, so ridiculous that only one of the gospel writers (whoever wrote the book of Matthew, and it certainly wasn’t Matthew) bothered to mention it. There is not a single shred of evidence that Herod ever did any such thing, of course, and you’d think that at least one Jewish or Roman historian might have noticed the wholesale slaughter of babies in the region

    Actually I have to disagree that it is one of the most ridiculous claims since it isn’t impossible. First we don’t have many contemporary or within the following 100 years historians writing about the period and place (some may have written but we have no record of their writings). Josephus is the only one who wrote in any great detail and he certainly describes Herod as quite capable of killing in order to protect his rule (he after all had several of his own sons and his wife executed according to Josephus). Second Bethlehem was a small place then where no one important probably lived (important people would live in nearby Jerusalem) so we are talking about a couple dozen unimportant boys being killed. Certainly no Roman historian would note it; they weren’t even noticing more important things about Herod such as executing his own sons (only Josephus records that as far as I know). Josephus or his sources could well have skipped several minor massacres by Herod just because there was so much Herod did that they were criticizing and they had limited space.

    The story is unlikely since it seems obvious that Matthew was trying to create a nativity story that fit his narrative purpose (hence Bible quotes every few verses that his story allegedly fulfilled) and which contradicts Luke’s story on almost all points (and contradicts John which implies that Jesus was not born in Bethlehem, John 7:41-43). It is not unlikely because historians we know of at the time failed to note it.

  • dingojack

    Really, it’s kind of like ‘the most watery kind of water’. The dumbest thing Farah says is the latest thing that Farah says — almost by definition.

  • dugglebogey

    He has it backwards.

    When children think of things 6 to 10 weeks away, they don’t anticipate them at all because to them that seems very far away. When you had 10 weeks off at summer break from school, were you immediately worried about when school was going to begin again in the fall? No you weren’t because that was forever away to you.

    Now that I’m ad adult I think “Christmas is almost here and I still need to get presents for X Y or Z.” Time gets more compressed when you get older.

  • raven

    Time gets more compressed when you get older.

    True.

    The War on Easter will be here before you know it. We are already warming up our chocolate bunnies and colored eggs.

    It’s mostly xians, again. As usual. A few years ago, some of the local churches handed out cheap cardboard signs with something or other about “resurrection Sunday”. They don’t like to even call it Easter because that is another Pagan holiday named after a European goddess.

    Fortunately this only lasted for a year. Those signs were pretty flimsy and I suspect they ended up in the trash.

  • D. C. Sessions

    First we don’t have many contemporary or within the following 100 years historians writing about the period and place (some may have written but we have no record of their writings).

    Historians? Perhaps not. On the other hand, there were a lot of Jewish sources, some collected in the Talmud, which would hardly have failed to note another indictment against Herod, who was hardly on their BFF list.

  • tfkreference

    The War on Christmas would be over if the tens of thousands of Christian religions would agree to move the celebration of Christ’s birth to the spring – you know, when shepherds would actually have been out in their fields – and call it The Nativity. They could leave the current holiday to the secular world and relish the fact that everyone’s favorite holiday is named after their god.

    I wonder how excited their kids would be for Nativity – which would be Easter without the chocolate bunnies. (The only thing I liked about Easter was getting Thursday and Friday off of school – it sure wasn’t getting up for the sunrise service.)

  • Kevin Kehres

    All of these “Tinkerbell is real” columns — and Farah’s is not even among the 10 worst I’ve read this season — have the faint whiff of rotten meat about them.

    It’s the smell of desperation.

  • cjcolucci

    If Frah really believed what he was saying, he would apply Sen. George Aiken’s sage advice about the Vietnam War to the alleged War on Christmas — declare victory and get out.

  • otrame

    @8

    Three were plenty of historians and other writers during that period and we have surviving manuscripts or partial manuscripts. What we don’t have is a single one that mentions anything about Jesus or the supposed massacre of the boy babies in Bethlehem.

    Still, you are right, if Bethlehem was even inhabited at the time (and there is archaeological evidence that suggests it wasn’t) it was a tiny little town and the slaughter of half a dozen or so babies by a king well known for bad behavior wouldn’t necessarily be worth much notice.

    Still, even when I was a kid that story never made much sense. If a bunch of traveling “wise men” tell Herod that a “king” has been born, it seems to me that he would be more likely to kill them, not a bunch of babies.

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    When I was a kid, Christmas was the greatest thing ever. We had presents, big dinners, fun with friends and family, and we looked forward to it for weeks. Then the God-botherers came around and started spitting venom every chance they got. “Jesus is the reason for the season” they said, apparently not content with the fact that Christians could freely celebrate the holiday religiously, they were angered that other people chose not to and were instead having fun. They turned a time of joy and good will into an excuse for in-your-face preaching, divisiveness, and self-righteous posturing. Hasn’t been the same since.

  • caseloweraz

    Farah: He knew that even His very birth would result in worldly authorities attempting to hunt him down and slay Him in an effort to prevent Him from doing what He came to Earth to do – preach the gospel, go to the cross to atone for the sins of mankind and be resurrected.

    What kind of twisted logic is this? Farah says in essence that Jesus knew the authorities would try to kill him to prevent him from dying for our sins.

    The argument could be made that the authorities might have wanted to “disappear” Jesus — kill him without public notice — but I can’t recall anyone making that argument.

  • Erp

    @16 I think you would be hard put to name many remaining writings that describe anything about Palestine for the time period in question other than those by Josephus (and to a far lesser extent Philo). The Talmud may have some stuff but it wasn’t compiled until centuries later.

    People may well have been writing, but, almost all the writings have not survived.

    BTW Matthew does give a story consistent reason for Herod not to kill the magi. He needed them to find the rival king so he could definitely remove the threat. He probably would have killed the magi after but they skipped town. What doesn’t make sense within the story is not giving them some local guides or having them followed so he doesn’t depend on them actually returning.

    Also I suspect archaeology in Bethlehem is a bit tricky given the existence of a city on top of the site and politics. Absence of evidence is not necessarily evidence of absence especially when one can’t easily look for the evidence.

  • dingojack

    Erp – “Also I suspect archaeology in Bethlehem is a bit tricky given the existence of a city on top of the site…” – doesn’t stop them doing archaeology in London, Istanbul, Sydney and etc. – “… and politics” – well yes, that’s a factor absent in other places. I’m guessing that’s a major factor in limiting investigation, but the Israeli Antiquities Authority has managed to find Iron Age (1200 to 550 bce) and 6th century ce objects (note, none in the last century bce or first century ce).

    Dingo

  • nelsonc

    I’ve come up with a term for all the people and animals killed in natural disasters such as earthquakes, hurricanes, tornados, , mudslides, floods, wild fires, tsunamis, etc.

    Also all the people and animals that could have been saved but for the callous indifference to life exhibited by a supposedly All Loving, All Knowing, All Powerful deity. Loss of life in tragedies such as plane/train/automobile accidents, building fires, explosions, environmental disasters (Bopal, Chernoble come to mind) could have been prevented had the deity just lived up to the hype bestowed on it by Christians.

    All of those lost lives, human or otherwise, are now dubbed “God Fodder”!

  • rjlangley

    I initially misread ‘nugget of stupid’ as ‘Nugent of stupid’…

  • dingojack

    Is a ‘nugent’ a measurement of stupidity, now? :)

    Dingo

    ———

    How many nugents is ol’ Joe?

  • estraven

    My husband and I are atheists and raised our children with no religious belief. But Christmas was still a very big deal–and it still is! My son now celebrates Yule, but the rest of us just carry on with all the traditions we love. When my kids were little, I well remember the excited anticipation. I don’t think any of that has changed at all–not if my grandkids are an example. Like Tim Minchin, I really like Christmas, and I always will. What the Farahs of the world don’t like is that the holiday has become secularized. Just the other day someone on Facebook lectured me that adopting pagan traditions like Christmas trees etc. was an insult and a showing of disrespect to Christianity. I told her she’d fit right in with the Puritans and she said, “Why?” History–read some. WTF is wrong with Farah and those of his ilk? No one is preventing them from celebrating whatever and however they want to. I’m so sick of this.

  • skinnercitycyclist

    @23 Dingo:

    I would guess you could convert nugents to farahs on a one-to-one basis…

  • Donnie

    WND Exclusive: Atheist (FAT*) Blogger Admits Obama’s Plans to Kill First Born Christian Children

    * Had to get a jab in from the looney Encyclopedia of Nuts who have a fixation on bodily shapes of atheists.

  • Erp

    Dingo- Given that the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem dates to the 4th century CE (in its foundations) by a fair bit of historical documentation, that the Israeli Antiquities Authority can find no stuff between the 6th century BCE and the 6th CE items indicates limited archaeology there.