More Failed ‘Psychic’ Predictions

Relatively Interesting has a review of some of the big name “psychics” and their predictions for 2014 made at the beginning of the year. I’m sure it will come as a huge shock that they weren’t even a tiny bit accurate in those predictions except when they were really vague or obvious. Here’s LaMont “Monte” Hamilton:

Here’s what he sees for 2014:

  • An electrical fire is seen in the new NSA(National Security Agency) collection center in Utah that will be linked to sabotage.  (Did not happen)
  • A discovery that diseases can be transmitted or transferred by pure thought from one location to another will be found. (Did not happen)
  • Scientist will discover and prove that we live in an identical twin universe that’s the mirror opposite of ours. (Did not happen, though it would have been cool if it did)
  • Nobel Prize in Chemistry will go to: Alivisatos, Seeman, and Mirkin for their work on DNA. (Here’s who actually won:  Eric Betzig, Stefan Hell and W. E. Moerner)
  • Nanotechnology that uses the unique properties of DNA to treat the human body targeting individual cells.(Sort of – though this isn’t something unique to 2014 as development of this kind of technology began years ago, and it’s not ready for humans)
  • We will lose one of our past Presidents or First Lady this year after a prolonged illness. (We didn’t)
  • 2014 will be a very interesting political year since we’ll have the fall elections coming, and I predict we’ll have at least 2-3 congressmen resigning their offices before that time. I see a few more veteran lawmakers’ losing their seats after the elections are over.  (Does this not seem obvious around election time?)
  • Due to an increase in sexual assaults in the military this year, men and women will eventually be segregated once again. (They are not)
  • The Atlantic Ocean along the central east coast [of the U.S.] will be contaminated due to radiation or pollution that kills aquatic life. (Did not happen).
  • Russia, China, and U.S. will collaborate on an asteroid shield/tracking program due to a potential hazard coming by December.  (Did not happen, and no threat in December)
  • I see a tragic full-blown horrific civil war breaking out in Sudan by April, drawing the U.S military into the conflict.  (I see what he’s trying to do here – pick a country in the Middle East and hope for the best.  Turns out it was Syria and Iraq.)
  • Due to the advancement of new nano-chemicals, future cars will not need to be washed as much or need windshield wipers to repel dirt or water.  (Did not happen in 2014)
  • Programmers will discover a simple computer code or app that will end almost all future online computer viruses. (Ridiculous, and did not happen. And I predict, will NEVER happen.)
  • Significant positive views about women will create a rise in global political and economic power for them this year, and another top 5 auto manufacturer will have a female CEO before the year is out.  (There was a female CEO announced for GM BUT IN 2013!.  This doesn’t count as a prediction for 2014.  Nice try, Lamont.)
  • The alternative digital currency, Bitcoin, will crash due to a well-placed virus that affects the algorithm. (Sort of, but it’s been going downhill since 2013).
  • A scandal over a Nobel Peace Prize nominee will be reported in the news that the commission may consider taking the prize back from them. (No, it was awarded without controversy.)
  • New protruding land masses or islands will start to form around Hawaii, Southeast Asia, and the Bahamas over the next year, sparking renewed interest in the legend of Atlantis.  (Atlantis, really?  Didn’t happen).
  • New York City will move to limit the number and types of pets that people can own in town. (As far as I could find, this already has been in place since 2009.)
  • President Obama will pardon people that have been imprisoned for non-violent marijuana drug offenses.(In December 2013, he did this, so it should be no surprise if a few more were pardoned in 2014)
  • Tragedy surrounding long-time actor Michael Douglas seen, which could be an accident or illness.  (He came out has having tongue cancer in 2013, and reconciled with Catherine Zeta Jones in 2014 – whatever that’s worth.)
  • The original 1969 USA moon landing site will be reported as damaged or vandalized by another country that lands on the moon. (Didn’t happen.)

The others didn’t fare any better. The best part is “Psychic Nikki,” who offered a big list of predictions she made that were accurate when none of them were actually included in the list at the beginning of the year. The will to believe on the part of the audience makes such lies quite safe to tell.

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  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Well, my prediction came true. I predicted that my eyebrows would finally unite as one single eyebrow, and they did!

  • blf

    I predicted that I will not make a prediction.

  • lldayo

    Ed, to be fair, there’s still 2 1/2 days left in the year. You just need to practice patience!

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    blf

    Boy were you right!!!!

  • illdoittomorrow

    All I can say is it’s too bad about the first prediction.

  • busterggi

    At least the world ended due to Obama – can’t say the right-wing psychics were wrong.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    I predict fireworks at the start of 2015. Figurative or literal? That’s not clear right now.

  • Trebuchet

    Ed:

    Did not happen.

    Did not happen.

    Did not happen.

    That’s what THEY want you to think!

  • suttkus

    Scientist will discover and prove that we live in an identical twin universe that’s the mirror opposite of ours.

    Wait, we will discover that we live in a universe that is the opposite of the one that is ours? We aren’t living in our universe? By what definition is this other universe that we aren’t living in ours?

  • dcsohl

    “Scientist will discover and prove that we live in an identical twin universe that’s the mirror opposite of ours.”

    What does this even mean? We live in two universes at the same time?

    It actually does remind me of this theory that the Big Bang spawned two universes on either “side” of it where time flows in the opposite direction… but of course this is just a theory, not a discovery or a proof.

  • tfkreference

    Bush 41 was taken to the hospital last week – that’s close enough to count all the predictions correct. Right?

  • Sastra

    A discovery that diseases can be transmitted or transferred by pure thought from one location to another will be found.

    The EVIL EYE!!!

    Seriously, I think supernaturalists of all kinds would be happy with this because it would falsify materialistic naturalism. Even a dark, dangerous version of psychokenesis and dualism is better than scientists continuing to remain skeptical about how powerful and central Mind really is.

  • http://adventuresinzymology.blogspot.com JJ831

    future cars will not need to be washed as much or need windshield wipers to repel dirt or water

    Pfft, already done. My 2013 Hyundai Sonata, which I have had for exactly 2 years as of yesterday, has been washed all of 3 times (and it doesn’t look that dirty).

    Also, RainX for the windshield wiper part (what an odd thing to pick out)

  • lorn

    Well … of course you think none of those happened, there is a massive international and trans-temporal (they have a time machine), interplanetary (Obama was seen on Mars) conspiracy working hard to cover it all up. That you will not admit to the truth is proof that they got to you.

  • LightningRose

    Bush the First is 90 years old, suffers from Parkinson’s, and (SFAIK) still in the hospital.

    With 2 full days of the year to go, does anyone want to start a pool?

  • caseloweraz

    Here’s LaMont “Monte” Hamilton…

    He should change his last name to Cranston. Then he could cloud men’s minds.

    No, wait; he’s doing that to his audience already.

  • caseloweraz

    A scandal over a Nobel Peace Prize nominee will be reported in the news that the commission may consider taking the prize back from them.

    On the other hand, James Watson sold his Nobel Prize, then the purchaser (Alisher Usmanov) gave it back to him.

    Could be that Hamilton was looking at our universe through its mirror twin, and things just appeared in reverse (for sufficiently vague meanings of “in reverse.”)

  • gardengnome

    So an unnamed country was going to spend billions just to land on the Apollo 11 site and kick the flag down? Makes sense to me.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    2014 isn’t over yet, Ed.

  • magistramarla

    “Scientist will discover and prove that we live in an identical twin universe that’s the mirror opposite of ours”

    Seems that somebody’s been watching classic Star Trek episodes.

  • gog

    Is this “mirror opposite” universe composed primarily of anitmatter? That would actually explain an unsolved problem in physics.

  • http://dontlinkmebro F [i’m not here, i’m gone]

    Russia, China, and U.S. will collaborate on an asteroid shield/tracking program due to a potential hazard coming by December. (Did not happen, and no threat in December)

    Also known as: Does not even make sense.

  • Loqi

    What does an “opposite” universe even mean? It’s got to be “Bill Gates is poor” opposite or something, because if the forces of nature are inverted, it likely wouldn’t produce anything we’d recognize…

  • dingojack

    “Significant positive views about women will create a rise in global political and economic power for them this year.”

    To be fair, here, Our fearless Leader (The Minister for Sheilas, Boongs, the Bush, Yartz an’ stuff) reshuffled his front bench and managed to double the number of women in cabinet — from one to two.

    @@ Dingo