Weirdest Story of 2015 Already?

We’re only a few days into 2015 but this headline is going to be difficult to top: “Florida man attacks ‘spiritual’ girlfriend’s car over dead granny sex toy dream prophecy.” Police were called twice over a domestic dispute involving a car and a really bizarre dream prediction:

After police left, however, Molter continued to attack his girlfriend’s car, breaking a passenger side mirror, deflating its tires, and strewing the hood and windshield with used condoms and what the police referred to as “love notes” written in creams and lotions.

When police returned to the scene, they asked Molter why he was so intent on damaging his girlfriend’s car. He replied that she is a “‘spiritual person’ and can tell a person about their dreams.”

He said that she had told him that his deceased grandmother was going to return to him in his dreams, and that she was going to “commit an unusual sex act to him involving an adult erotic device,” the police report stated.

“Molter said that he could not get the image out of his head and he ‘snapped,’” the report continued.

It’s Florida. Who could be shocked at this point?

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  • Reginald Selkirk
  • eric

    strewing the hood and windshield with used condoms and what the police referred to as “love notes” written in creams and lotions

    Did he keep his used condoms in a box then or something? I think I find the attack to be less odd than the thought of a guy keeping enough of them to ‘strew’ a windshield with.

  • anubisprime

    Is Molter a Republican wannabe congress critter or something?…’jus askin!

  • John Pieret

    Why do I suspect his girlfriend was out to screw with his head to begin with?

  • Sastra

    eric #2 wrote:

    Did he keep his used condoms in a box then or something?

    He may not have kept them for the purpose. Some people hardly ever take out the trash. I’ve seen this on TV.

    The surprising factor here then might have been that he knew where to look.

  • dingojack

    Molter/Palin 2016?

    Dingo

  • dingojack

    I suspect (call it a ‘psychic’ prediction, if you will) that the right-wing nut job usual suspects will surprise and astound in their race to the absolute nadir over the period 2015-2030 …

    ‘Mystic’ Dingo

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    By a probably not so strange coincidence LanuageLog has a whole (hysterically funny) post on this very subject

    Location Man.

    It includes many examples:

    “Florida man fakes heart attack to steal Barbie car from Wal-Mart”

    “Florida man busted for cooking up meth in park restroom”

    “Florida Man Plunges Through Bakery Ceiling In Failed Robbery Attempt”

    “Florida man steals chain saw by sticking it in his pants, police say”

    “Florida Man pisses on living room floor during family Thanksgiving dinner”

    “Florida Man Takes Saddest Mugshot Ever After Riding His Bike Drunk Through a Taco Bell Drive-Thru”

    &c. &c.

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    I can’t get the image out of my head either. Who’s got the brain bleach?

    Another forum I’m on has the mantra “don’t engage the crazy.” It applies here, but I’m not sure if applies to the man (for a crazy GF), the GF (for a crazy man) or both. Or the news media for giving this one coverage.

  • raven

    Florida man decapitates mother on New Year’s Eve

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-30655802

    3 days ago – A man in Florida has been charged with first-degree murder after beheading his mother on New Year’s Eve.

    They won’t forget that New Years Eve party.

    (This incident doesn’t seem religiously motivated even though the accused is most likely a…xian.)

  • lorn

    Other places have their fair share of the weird. Florida just takes it a little farther, a little more frequently.

    Florida: where it is still illegal to have sex with a porcupine:

    http://www.nbc-2.com/story/14076761/2011/02/22/sex-with-porcupines-its-illegal

    The good news is that is seldom, if ever enforced. The bad news is that if you do have sex with a porcupine the worse part is not the Florida law:

    http://english.pravda.ru/society/stories/18-05-2009/107573-porcupine_sex-0/

  • caseloweraz

    Raven:

    Florida man decapitates mother on New Year’s Eve

    They won’t forget that New Years Eve party.

    If the party took place in a topless bar, and the body was found there, we have a winner…

  • dingojack

    Raven – ‘… the party was getting more and more wild — until someone really lost their head’.

    Dingo