Santorum Thinks He Can Unite People

Rick Santorum is prepping for another failed run at the Republican nomination for president and he’s got a new strategy to cast himself as a uniter who can bring Republicans and Democrats together for the good of the country. What? Stop laughing! I said stop laughing!

Staunch conservative Rick Santorum may have landed on a new strategy to try and win the Republican presidential nomination: run as a uniter.

Appearing on “With All Due Respect” on Wednesday, Santorum floated the image makeover, while maintaining that he had not changed his views on any single issue.

“There are issues out there in America that unite us, and one of the things I’m excited about in looking at a campaign in 2016 is having a message that not only unites Republicans but also can bring Democrats along not just during the campaign, but, more importantly, as we see the division in Washington, afterwards,” Santorum told hosts Mark Halperin and John Heilemann…

“That’s what gets me energized, is to create an atmosphere where we can have some unity instead of divisiveness in Washington,” Santorum, who won the Iowa caucuses in 2012, said.

Okay, now you can laugh. Remember, this is the guy who said this:

One of the things I will talk about that no President has talked about before is I think the dangers of contraception in this country, the whole sexual libertine idea. Many in the Christian faith have said, “Well, that’s okay. Contraception’s okay.”

It’s not okay because it’s a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be. They’re supposed to be within marriage, they are supposed to be for purposes that are, yes, conjugal, but also [inaudible], but also procreative. That’s the perfect way that a sexual union should happen. We take any part of that out, we diminish the act. And if you can take one part out that’s not for purposes of procreation, that’s not one of the reasons, then you diminish this very special bond between men and women, so why can’t you take other parts of that out? And all of a sudden, it becomes deconstructed to the point where it’s simply pleasure. And that’s certainly a part of it—and it’s an important part of it, don’t get me wrong—but there’s a lot of things we do for pleasure, and this is special, and it needs to be seen as special.

Again, I know most Presidents don’t talk about those things, and maybe people don’t want us to talk about those things, but I think it’s important that you are who you are. I’m not running for preacher. I’m not running for pastor, but these are important public policy issues. These how profound impact on the health of our society.

About 97% of Americans have used birth control. Attacking birth control will only unite people against him. Which is fine with me.

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  • D. C. Sessions

    But hs is a uniter!

    By moving the Overton Window waaaaaay to the right, he unites more Americans in supporting less-insane Republicans.

  • anubisprime

    Oh how the deluded delude themselves, count the ways!

  • dingojack

    Dear Mr Frothy — thanks to you we are united — in pointing and laughing at you, dumb ass.

    Dingo

  • Anne Fenwick

    No, you see, the thing is, he’s trying to unite Republicans and Democrats against himself.

  • skinnercitycyclist

    As usual, santorum lingers long after the fun is over…

    It’s not okay because it’s a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be. They’re supposed to be within marriage, they are supposed to be for purposes that are, yes, conjugal, but also [inaudible], but also procreative. That’s the perfect way that a sexual union should happen. We take any part of that out, we diminish the act. And if you can take one part out that’s not for purposes of procreation, that’s not one of the reasons, then you diminish this very special bond between men and women, so why can’t you take other parts of that out? And all of a sudden, it becomes deconstructed to the point where it’s simply pleasure. And that’s certainly a part of it—and it’s an important part of it, don’t get me wrong—but there’s a lot of things we do for pleasure, and this is special, and it needs to be seen as special.

    Who the hell is he to tell me how and for what purpose I can have sex? Where does he get the nerve?

  • John Pieret

    skinnercitycyclist:

    Who the hell is he to tell me how and for what purpose I can have sex? Where does he get the nerve?

    Why, from the allegedly celibate hierarchy of his Roman Catholic Church, dontchaknow. Like Bill Donahue, he doubtless thinks all the world’s problems would be solved by everyone becoming a Catholic … or at least accepting Catholic dogma, in this case, concerning sexuality.

  • raven

    Since when is it the President’s job to determine who has sex and why? Doesn’t the US President have other things to do?

    Two things became obvious last time Satanorum ran.

    1. He didn’t want to be President. He wanted to be a New Dark Age Pope.

    2. He is also an incredibly broken human being. To call him a sociopath would be a vast understatement.

  • U Frood

    Funny that even observant Catholics use one form of birth control, timing sex to avoid fertile periods. If you’re doing that to prevent conception, aren’t you removing the procreation from the act in the same way as if you’re using birth control pills or have a vasectomy. You’re just doing it less effectively.

    And funny that Santorum thinks he gets to dictate to other religions what their views on Birth Control should be.

    I agree that Santorum would unite the country to vote against him.

  • raven

    Satanorum:

    It’s (birth control) not okay because it’s a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.

    gallup. com:

    May 22, 2012

    Americans, Including Catholics, Say Birth Control Is Morally OK

    Birth control has the broadest acceptance among 18 behaviors

    by Frank Newport

    PRINCETON, NJ — Eighty-two percent of U.S. Catholics say birth control is morally acceptable, nearing the 89% of all Americans and 90% of non-Catholics who agree. The level of acceptability on this issue is far greater than that of the other 17 issues Gallup asked about this year.

    1. FWIW, support for using birth control is overwheming in the USA. It’s 89% overall, 82% among Catholics, according to a 2012 Gallup poll.

    2. Contraception is part of the modern world, as much so as indoor plumbing, cars, and electricity. It isn’t going away no matter what the Pope, priests, or Satanorum say or do.

  • Michael Heath

    Ed writes:

    About 97% of Americans have used birth control. Attacking birth control will only unite people against him. Which is fine with me.

    Have you not been paying attention Ed? Republicans in state legislatures have been wildly successful over the past four years passing legislation that is virulently anti-women. Clearly some voters are not paying attention, or don’t care enough about those issues that make Mr. Santorum so objectionable to fierce social liberals, even women voters.

    Such voter behavior by women is still phenomena I do not understand. You don’t see many gay people voting for people that either hate them or demand the government discriminate against them. Yet here we see women not only vote for a misogynistic political party, but even choose to be members of churches that practice misogyny, abuse their daughters, and abuse their GLBT children.

    What Rick Santorum’s hoping for here is attract ‘Reagan Democrats’, who I think are now largely Republicans though still somewhat working class populists. From that perspective he’s got a shot if he keeps the anti-union rhetoric down and fights hard to promote gun rights at the expense of all other rights.

    It’ll be interesting to see Santorum weigh in on minimum wage laws. My guess is that he’ll equivocate and argue it should be down at the state level; i.e., have it both ways. If he’s really serious about his rhetoric here, he’d go whole hog and promote raising the federal minimum. I doubt he has the courage to do that.

  • dingojack

    I wonder if Mr Frothy might benefit from a quiet word from Pope Francis…

    Dingo

  • whheydt

    As for the second quote…How many kids does Santorum have and how does he explain not having a whole bunch more?

    Count me in on those insisting that Santorum *can* unite the country…against Santorum.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    raven “2. Contraception is part of the modern world, as much so as indoor plumbing, cars, and electricity.”

    One issue at a time. Once we’ve won the War on Contraception, we can move on to all those other problems.

  • howardhershey

    Isn’t knowledge of and use of contraception one of the things separates us from other animals?

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    “Flying combat missions for General Dreedle is not exactly what I had in mind,” he [General Peckem] explained indulgently with a smooth laugh. I was thinking more in terms of replacing General Dreedle, or perhaps something above General Dreedle where I could exercise supervision over a great many other generals too. You see, my most precious abilities are mainly administrative ones. I have a happy facility for getting different people to agree.”

    “He has a happy facility for getting different people to agree what a prick he is,” Colonel Cargill confided invidiously to ex-P.F.C Wintergreen in hope that the ex P.F.C would spread the unfavorable report along through Twenty-seventh Air Force headquarters. “If anyone deserves that combat post, I do. It was even my idea we ask for that medal.”

    “You really want to go into combat?” ex-P.F.C. Wintergreen inquired.

    “Combat?” Colonel Cargill was aghast. “Oh no – you misunderstand me. Of course, I wouldn’t mind going into combat, but my best abilities are mainly administrative ones. I too have a happy facility for getting different people to agree with me.”

    “He too has a happy facility for getting different people to agree what a prick he is,” ex-P.F.C. Wintergreen confided with a laugh to Yossarian. If anyone deserves a promotion, I do.” — Catch-22

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1246980039 caseyboucher

    Santorum does seem to bring people together. At least, every time I’ve seen santorum I’ve been with somebody.

  • Artor

    “With All Due Respect,” I am happy to give Mr. Frothy Mix all the respect he is due- none at all.

  • lorn

    For a guy named after the foamy brown residue produced by anal sex he sure is narrow minded as to sex is for and about.

  • moarscienceplz

    It’s not okay because it’s a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.

    Some other things that are counter to how things are supposed to be:

    -Treating water to kill pathogens.

    -Travelling by any mode other than walking.

    -Wearing clothes.

    and of course:

    -Becoming leader of a country by being elected by the governed.

  • U Frood

    Some other things that are counter to how things are supposed to be:

    -Becoming leader of a country by being elected by the governed.

    You’re right! We should all recognize Santorum as having been appointed King by God.

  • dingojack

    No. no U Frood — anointed King by God (after spirit of the latter came over the former, mightily). Get it right!

    @@ Dingo

  • dingojack

    A warm, steaming pile of frothy faecal matter, lube and sperm; topped with a crown of god’s jizz.

    Now there’s an image for his campaign posters! 😀

    Dingo

  • pocketnerd

    Rick Santorum is prepping for another failed run at the Republican nomination for president and he’s got a new strategy to cast himself as a uniter who can bring Republicans and Democrats together for the good of the country. What? Stop laughing! I said stop laughing!

    Maybe he figures if he burns a few dozen liberals at the stake, the rest will fall into line.

  • Kermit Sansoo

    Folks, while Dan Savage’s savaging of Santorum’s name was funny, every time I see comments about it I wonder what it’s like having that family name for somebody else. I cringe, thinking of being some poor twelve year-old named Mikey or Jenny Santorum…

    .

    But yeah, the former senator is a grade-A asshole.