Hagee: God is Going to Destroy America. Yes, Again.

John Hagee, who apparently has a direct line to God, says the big guy is going to destroy America because President Obama isn’t treating Benjamin Netanyahu like the special snowflake he believes him to be. So once again, his big bad buddy is going to beat us all up.

“I am a student of world history,” Hagee said, “and you can wrap up world history in 25 words or less and here it is: the nations that blessed Israel prospered and the nations that cursed Israel were destroyed by the hand of God.”

The Egyptian Empire, the Babylonian Empire, and the Ottoman Empire have all been wiped out, Hagee said, and even the British Empire has been “reduced to one tiny island because, since Edward the First, they have been and remain an anti-Semitic nation.”

America will face the same fate, Hagee warned, because God “is watching what America does as it responds to Israel. If America turns its back on Israel, God will turn his back on America. And that’s a fact. It’s proven by history.”

Wait, the Ottoman empire was destroyed because they cursed Israel, a country that did not exist during the reign of the Ottoman empire? How fascinating. How many times has God destroyed America already? I’ve lost count.

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  • http://freethoughtblogs.com/axp/ Martin Wagner

    “I am a student of world history,” Hagee said, “and you can wrap up world history in 25 words or less and here it is: the nations that blessed Israel prospered and the nations that cursed Israel were destroyed by the hand of God.”

    Sounds like someone needs a refund from his history teacher.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Well, that certainly explains China.

  • colnago80

    Not only did Israel not exist during the Ottoman Empire, the area was part of the Ottoman Empire.

  • colnago80

    Interestingly enough, now that he’s feeling some heat at home, Bibi is now blaming Boehner who he says misled him, this all through spokesman.

    http://goo.gl/VxAikn

  • kantalope

    You know who else was destroyed for their mistreatment of Israel? The Romans. Oh, sure it took 500 years but destroyed they were.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    Bibi is saying he was misled by JOHN FUCKING BOEHNER?! How dumb and spineless do you have to be, to be so easily misled by such an obvious crap-artist? What, did Boehner bowl him over with one of his classic crying-jags? And how desperate to you have to be to use that as an excuse for being incompetent?

  • theguy

    Fact is that every empire eventually fails. Last I checked, the sun still technically hasn’t set on the British Empire.

  • raven

    Hagee accidently makes a good point.

    All civilizations (used in a colloquil sense) and empires have fallen sooner or later.

    Every single one!!! Toynbee identified 22 civilizations that have fallen. 19 of them collapsed from within though. None were destroyed by the xian god.

    Which means that our New Rome, the American civilization, will fall one day. It’s inevitable based on previous history. I just hope it holds together for my projected lifespan of a few more decades.

    PS When these civilizations fell, they didn’t necesarily fall all the way back to the stone age. And it isn’t necessarily forever. Rome still exists, and the successor to the Roman empire, Italy, isn’t a bad place to visit and live.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    You know who else was destroyed for their mistreatment of Israel? The Romans. Oh, sure it took 500 years but destroyed they were.

    Isaac Asimov once made the same point, in all seriousness, WRT a Roman general who allegedly lost his “nose for victory” after walking, uninvited, into Jerusalem’s most holy place. Lots of Christians still cling to Jewish superstition, and can’t shake it off even today.

  • raven

    Well, don’t worry.

    My gods, Bast, Thor, Isis, Frigga, Gaia, Estre, and Sophia will protect the USA.

    I’m so confident that I will make a bet with Hagee. In 6 months, if the USA is destroyed by his fundie Sky Monster god, I will tithe my remaining survival food, ammo, and cash to his church. If we are still here in 6 months, he will have to tithe his fortune to the Pagans.

    How about it Hagee? Put up or shut up. (I already know he is just Making It Up as he goes along. Nothing he has said will happen, ever happens.)

  • colnago80

    Re Raging Bee @ #6

    Ole Bibi is pretty desperate as he’s barely even with the opposition and the voters over there have grown bored with his antics. In addition, Bibi ain’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, despite his degree from the Sloan School of Management at MIT (well, E. W. Jackson has a law degree from Harvard). There is a bit of the bull in the china shop about him.

  • daved

    How many times has God destroyed America already? I’ve lost count.

    Me too. And I don’t know about you guys, but I for one am getting damn sick and tired of God destroying America all the time, just because of you and your freethinking behavior.

  • http://composer99.blogspot.ca composer99

    So, Hagee, what is it you believe about Jews and the end times, exactly?

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    “…since Edward the First, they have been and remain an anti-Semitic nation…”

    Since the ol’ Malleus Scotorum was busily being anti-semitic in the later C13th, well before England had any sort of an empire (unless of course Hagee is restricting himself to erstwhile Angevin territory, and if he is he should be blaming poor John) one might argue that it was kiking the Jews out of England that led to the eventual Empire centuries later.

     

    …Or not…

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    Aaaaaargh!!!

    Damn lack of an editor…

    That was not meant to be a racial slur, I left a ‘c’ out.

    Sorry!

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    richardelguru, I’ve never seen it as a verb before.

  • teawithbertrand

    Is Hagee’s god going to deliberately destroy America or just “remove his hand of protection” as has been threatened so often before?

  • raven

    Hagee knows less about history than my cat.

    Rome went xian before it fell. And it was knocked over by…other xians, Arian xians from Northern Europe.

    If correlation is causation, one could say that converting to xianity causes empires to fail.

    Same thing happened to the Soviet empire. These days they are a shadow of what they were and…Orthodox xian. And don’t forget the Vikings. Once feared raiders who spread as far as North America and once occupied Ireland, they converted to xianity and haven’t been the same since. Nowadays, they are famous mostly for middle priced, modern Ikea furniture and Volvo cars.

  • vmanis1

    The Khazar Khanate flourished between the 7th and 10th centuries in the area north of the Black Sea and west of the Caucasus mountains. According to credible historical accounts[*], the state was tolerant of many different faiths, and many, including the royal family, converted to Judaism. The Khanate was destroyed as the empire of Rus grew.

    So much for Mr Hagee’s `theory’.

    [*] There is a theory, popularized by Arthur Koestler, and adopted by many anti-Semites, that the Khazars were the ancestors of the modern Ashkenazi (Jews from northern and central Europe). To my knowledge, this theory has no support among reputable historians.

  • Larry

    If America turns its back on Israel, God will turn his back on America.

    Well, OK. Just so long as the big guy isn’t hatin’ on us because of same-sex marriage.

  • longstreet63

    OK, I’m just popping up from lurking because, you know, Someone Is Wrong on the Internet. Hagee, unsuprisingly.

    However, other comments probably require correction to my historically pedantic mind, so I’m just gonna unload this on everyone as a sort of negative example.

    The Ottoman Empire didn’t get wiped out, exactly. It collapsed in the same war that killed the Russian, German, Austrian, Empires Like the rest of those, they changed governments to a non-imperial form. they didn’t go the way of Babylon, leaving nothing but folk tales and ancient crumbling ruins. They fired the Sultan and changed the flag a bit while handing over to the victors chunks of territory they were largely no longer in control of–including Jerusalem.

    Rome, also, did not take 500 years to fall. It took until 1453, when Constantinople was taken…by the Ottomans. Rome was long since fallen, but the Empire of Rome lived on in Greece for another thousand years. That’s how the people there thought of themselves–as Romans.

    It’s tempting to argue that the Ottomans were their successor. But then, most of the world seems to have claimed to be at one time or another. Tsar and Kaiser both mean “Caesar” after all.

    It’s probably not Italy, though. Mussolini couldn’t even make that one stick.

    Thanks for ignoring my rant. Don’t encourage me or I’ll explain why literally everything is Gavrillo Princip’s fault.

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    If America turns its back on Israel, God will turn his back on America.

    Why doesn’t God just take care of Israel himself and tell America to go mind its own fucking business?

  • Lofty

    Pfah, I read that the universe is recreated squillions of times per second, and one day soon Gawd is going to get cross and miss the reset button. And it’ll all be your fault.