Daubenmire: Kent Hovind is a Political Prisoner

“Coach” Dave Daubenmire is a rather paranoid man. In his latest column at BarbWire, he claims that Kent Hovind is a political prisoner and says that he’s very worried that a SWAT team is going to bust into his house in the middle of the night and take him away for…well, something.

I have to be honest with you. I think about it often. Not a night goes by when I do not think about it as I crawl in my warm bed beside my sweet wife of 35 years.

“Will this be the night that the black limos pull in my driveway? Is this the night that the SWAT Team goons bust down my door and haul me off to the slammer?”

I am being dead serious. I really do think about it every night because that is what they did to Dr. Kent Hovind.

Well gee, Dave, have you been refusing to pay, or even file, taxes on millions of dollars in income? Have you refused to withhold taxes from your employees? No? Hovind did those things. Those are crimes. He was arrested and convicted for it. And he has a perfect excuse for Hovind:

Does anyone really understand the tax code? Do you ever think twice when filing your tax returns as to whether or not your deductions and write-offs are in full compliance with the IRS code? How do you defend yourself from such a maize of tax-law and an army of government bureaucrats?

Hovind didn’t make a mistake on his taxes, for crying out loud. He didn’t take a deduction he wasn’t due by mistake. He took in millions of dollars and refused to pay taxes, claiming, absurdly, that he didn’t have any income because all his money belonged to God. Daubenmire admits this:

But this week, Dr. Dino has just completed his 99th month in federal prison for what the government claims was violation of the IRS tax code. Until the Feds burst into his house in the middle of the night back in 2004 Dr. Dino traveled the country defending Biblical Creation.

Along the way he began to warn churches about going into partnership with the government in the form of 501(c)(3) corporations. He claimed that the church needed no such partnership because the church was already “immune” from taxation. The church, he claimed, needed no such approval from the government and that by doing so churches where making themselves subject to the laws, codes, and statutes of the government. They labeled him a “tax protestor.”

In many ways Kent Hovind is a political prisoner. It was what you would expect in a communist country like North Korea.

Oh, nonsense. Churches may be tax-exempt, but religious people aren’t. Ministers still pay income taxes on their income and churches still have to withhold taxes from their employees if they are paid by W-2. Even if Hovind’s pathetic little theme park and ministry are a church, he still deliberately violated the law. But by all means, don’t let pesky little facts get in the way of your most recent incoherent rant.

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  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    Coach, since you are religious, you do not have to pay ANY taxes. This includes sales and gas taxes. Go ahead and buy that $0.50 Twix with exactly 2 quarters. Just hand them to the cashier and walk out confidently knowing they are powerless to enforce the secular sales tax on you!

  • Trebuchet

    Black limos? Surely you mean SUV’s, Coach.

    Note also that Hovind was imprisoned during the very Godly Bush administration.

  • matty1

    Was Hovind really dragged from his bed? It seems an odd way to deal with a tax evader.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    How do you defend yourself from such a maize of tax-law…”

    [quoted without comment, for amusement]

     

    …and an army of government bureaucrats?

    It’s easy defending yourself from them, as long as you can hold out until 10:15, when they go on break. As they reach in to the box of donuts in the breakroom, strike!

  • dingojack

    “…such a maize of tax-law …”

    *Whew* – for a second there a thought there might be a rice of tax law, or a barley of tax law, or a wheat of tax law, or a rye tax law, or something.

    @@

    Dingo

  • http://www.thelosersleague.com theschwa

    @4: Modus, it is a coded message:

    maize –> corn –> ACORN –> Obama –> Benghazi!! –> Socialism!!

    (Seems obvious in hindsight…)

  • raven

    Was Hovind really dragged from his bed? It seems an odd way to deal with a tax evader.

    1. Hovind had a large collection of arms and ammunition. It’s quite clear that the police were afraid he was going to do a Waco.

    2. Sovereign Citizens have a long history of violence. Timothy McVeigh was one. They’ve killed at least 7 police officers. The police consider them one of their main hazards.

  • Loqi

    Will this be the night that the black limos pull in my driveway?

    That’s how we know we need to reign in police forces. The SWAT team travels by armored limo. Probably given to them by the military, fresh off the front lines. I wonder if it still has the luxury turret on top.

    How do you defend yourself from such a maize of tax-law and an army of government bureaucrats?

    That reminds me. I have a can of Green Giant tax law at home that I should probably eat soon.

  • dingojack

    Evidently for Hovind, Daubenmire et al. paying taxes goes against the grain

    :) Dingo

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    @Modus

    How do you defend yourself from such a maize of tax-law…

    [quoted without comment, for amusement]

    That was corny, even by your standards, Modus.

    @theschwa

    “Coach” Dave won’t take you up on the offer. Like many of his ilk, he’s more than happy for others to become martyrs for the cause.

  • U Frood

    People who make millions of dollars don’t do their own taxes. They have people who do that for them, people who study and have the time to understand the tax code.

  • grumpyoldfart

    I’ve heard of a peppercorn rent, but never a maize of tax laws.

  • Michael Heath

    Dave Daubenmire:

    Does anyone really understand the tax code? Do you ever think twice when filing your tax returns as to whether or not your deductions and write-offs are in full compliance with the IRS code? How do you defend yourself from such a maize of tax-law and an army of government bureaucrats?

    I hire a CPA to do my taxes. I’d also hire a heart surgeon if the ticker needed work.

  • Michael Heath

    Dave Daubenmire:

    In many ways Kent Hovind is a political prisoner.

    The words that come to my mind are deadbeat and scofflaw.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Michael Heath “deadbeat and scofflaw”

    The Vaudeville duo?

  • dingojack

    Maybe Kent is looking at the maize of tax laws a-rye…

    Dingo

  • eric

    Does anyone really understand the tax code?

    Not many.

    Do you ever think twice when filing your tax returns as to whether or not your deductions and write-offs are in full compliance with the IRS code?

    A little bit.

    How do you defend yourself from such a maize of tax-law and an army of government bureaucrats?

    Many tax preparation services (including actual tax firms and software) promise to defend you in court for free if the IRS comes after you, as long as you are honest with them on your filing. It’s a great deal if your tax situation is unusual or regularly triggers IRS red flags. Pay $40-$500 up front for tax preparation, get $thousands in free legal representation later if you need it.

  • theguy

    He hates taxes? How does he think that churches’ tax-exemptions are subsidized? Somebody else has to pay more.

    As a rule, I have no problem with taxes, but then again, I’m a realist and understand that important things cost money, and not everything can be done through a completely free market.

  • noe1951

    it has to be a maize of tax laws – otherwise the gluten intolerant would have so many problems…

  • Trebuchet

    Was Hovind really dragged from his bed? It seems an odd way to deal with a tax evader.

    Under it, I’d guess.