Jesus World Tour 2015 Comes to Michigan

A Grand Rapids area man who makes wood carvings with a chainsaw confirms that the Jesus World Tour 2015 has come to Michigan. After appearances in toast, tortillas, potato chips and even bathroom mold, Jesus appeared in a carving of a cross. Except it doesn’t look remotely like Jesus, or like anything at all.

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • wreck

    I didn’t know Jesus was a cyclops.

  • lldayo

    Jesus is knot there.

  • Loqi

    Some sort of vaguely humanoid demon creature one might expect in high fantasy?

  • leskimopie
  • pixiedust

    Well, that is Richard Nixon’s nose for sure.

  • eamick

    This has always baffled me. Where exactly in the Bible is there any physical description of Jesus, other than a reference to his gender?

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    “Except it doesn’t look remotely like ….. anything at all.”

    Now there you are clearly wrong. It looks exactly like a crudely carved piece of wood!!!

    So there Doubting ThomasEd!!!

  • karmacat

    I saw Richard Nixon’s nose also. Maybe the nose is the new messiah ( not Nixon, just his nose)

  • grumpyoldfart

    The story starts off saying he was making “a cross for a friend”, but now it’s a case of “Fuck you friend,” because the story goes on to say, “He does have the cross for sale on e-bay.”

  • Al Dente

    eamick @6

    Where exactly in the Bible is there any physical description of Jesus, other than a reference to his gender?

    The Bible says he was circumcised. That’s the only physical attribute given in the Bible.

  • Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @Al Dente:

    The Bible says he was circumcised. That’s the only physical attribute given in the Bible.

    Funny you should mention that, because I didn’t really see anything but a disembodied groin – flaccid penis dangling to my right and resting against a generous scrotum. But, despite careful examination, I can’t find any line setting off the glans.

    So, as divine as this carver may find any particular hardwood dick, if you can find that bible quote, the theory that this depicts Jesus is, well, wanton.

  • chuckonpiggott

    That is Nixon’s nose as envisioned by Herblock or Jules Feiffer.

  • cag

    Geoduck.

  • skinnercitycyclist

    Al Dente:

    The Bible says he was circumcised. That’s the only physical attribute given in the Bible.

    Well, that would really make him stand out in a line-up of first-century Jews…

  • Al Dente

    skinnercitycyclist @14

    Jesus would be easy to pick out of a lineup of 1st Century Jews. Jesus would be the one looking like he’s Northern European instead of Mediterranean. Haven’t you seen any of the pictures of Jesus? Here’s an example.

  • Trebuchet

    Not only Nixon’s nose, but hairline. But no beard, no long hair, that I could see. The guy needs to get in touch with Todd Hoffman, he’d fit right in with that gold mining crew.