League of the South to Celebrate the Lincoln Assassination

The neo-confederate and thoroughly racist League of the South has decided it would be a great idea to honor John Wilkes Booth and celebrate the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. Because I’m sure that will totally help people see the good side of the organization.

The League of the South looks to the present and future. However, from time to time we do look back at our past.

This 14th of April will mark the 150th anniversary of John Wilkes Booth’s execution of the tyrant Abraham Lincoln. The League will, in some form or fashion, celebrate this event. We remember Booth’s diary entry: “Our country owed all her troubles to him, and God simply made me the instrument of his punishment.” A century and a half after the fact, The League of the South thanks Mr. Booth for his service to the South and to humanity.

So they look to the present and the future in order to figure out how to return to the pre-Civil War past. I’m sure these celebrations of John Wilkes Booth being God’s instrument in killing Lincoln will be a real hootenanny. The party won’t be black tie only, it will be white sheet only.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • John Pieret

    The sad thing is that the Reconstruction probably have been much less punitive under Lincoln than it was without him. It might have made the healing easier.

  • D. C. Sessions

    I like the League of the South. They actually represent a large minority (if not a majority) of Southern Republicans, and unlike their elected representatives are actually honest about their beliefs.

  • Artor

    The party i>will be black tie(d to a tree.)

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Well, at least somebody in the US will be acknowledging what happened 150 years ago, unlike our political establishment for the last four years.

    Will we have reached a stage where we can confront what happened 100 years back by 2018?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Thanks, Obama!

  • Johnny Vector

    Welp, time for a little Sondheim…

    How could you do it,Johnny,

    Calling it a cause?

    You left a legacy

    Of butchery

    And treason we

    Took eagerly,

    And thought you’d get applause.

    But traitors just get jeers and boos,

    Not visits to their graves,

    While Lincoln, who got mixed reviews,

    Beacause of you, John, now gets only raves.

  • theguy

    “thanks Mr. Booth for his service to the South and to humanity.”

    Since the South’s economy, politics and entire way of life was based on slavery of human beings, you can choose to serve one or the other. Considering its politics even today, that might still be true.

  • busterggi

    They forgot to nominate Booth for a posthumous Tony damn them!

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    It’s true that, as they say: “It’s not hate, it’s heritage” that they’re defending.

    The thing is, their heritage IS hating.

  • sugarfrosted

    The thing is John Wilkes Boothe ended up causing uncalculable damage to the South. A major component to why the region is still poor is in large part due to that event causing reconstruction to end prematurely. These people are so blinded by hate that they totally ignore the effects Boothe’s action had on the South.

    “A century and a half after the fact, The League of the South thanks Mr. Booth for his service to the South and to humanity.” Thanks for that poverty we’ve been in for the last 150 years! Revenge killing really are a great service.

  • kevinalexander

    The thing is John Wilkes Boothe ended up causing uncalculable damage to the South.

    It could be argued that Booth was the single individual that caused the greatest damage to the South, more than any Union general. He did it by killing the single greatest force who argued against punishing the South. Instead Booth just added to the sentiment by adding one more victim.

  • raven

    Whatever.

    I did cheer when Jerry Falwell died. I’m waiting for a few others. Dick Cheney will be reason for a lot of parties, after he goes away forever.

  • dan4

    @12 “I did cheer when Jerry Falwell died.” That’s because you’re a sociopath.

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    Actually, cheering for Falwell’s death was the normal human emotion for that ocurence.

    Now anyone who went conga dancing to celebrate? That was a sociopath.

  • Al Dente

    dan4 @13

    I’m reminded of a quip by Mark Twain: “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

  • dan4

    @14 “Actually, cheering for Falwell’s death was the normal human emotion for that ocurence.” So you’re a sociopath, too, like raven. Good to know (and, on a more minor issue, didn’t the red dotted lines under your misspelling of “occurrence” tell you anything, lol?).

  • dan4

    @15: Mark Twain: Good writer, but an absolute asshole as a humorist.

  • dan4

    …and for Al Dente (and anyone else) who wants to make a lame “But Twain’s humor WAS part of his writings,” reply to my comment @17, I by “good writer,” I meant Twain’s short stories and novels

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    dan4, I mourned Falwell’s passing. I was inconsolable. People couldn’t get me out of my room for days. I tore and rent my garments and everything! Sure, there are plenty of people who make the world a colder and more callous place, but Falwell did that also.

     

    It’s like when your favorite athlete doesn’t qualify for the Olympics, if the Olympics were for assholes and your favorite was also an asshole.

  • sugarfrosted

    @Dan4 Cheering because he can no longer do damage doesn’t really seem sociopathic to me. For me personally, I would lament that he didn’t die before he could do damage, which is the identical sentiment I had when Maggie Thatcher and Sylvia Browne died. Though in a perfect world I would have just wished they hadn’t done damage. If that’s your definition of sociopath I will take it as a compliment.

    Going Godwin, would cheering Hitler’s or Stalin’s death make someone a sociopath?

  • StevoR

    @11. kevinalexander :

    It could be argued that Booth was the single individual that caused the greatest damage to the South, more than any Union general.

    Quite likely although there’s arguably a case the one person who really caused the worst damage to the South was Colombus – although if it hadn’t been him someone else probably would have later.

  • StevoR

    Er, Columbus that is. Because his real story behind the familiar myth is actually utterly horrific :

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eric-kasum/columbus-day-a-bad-idea_b_742708.html

    forced these peaceful natives work in his gold mines until they died of exhaustion. If an “Indian” worker did not deliver his full quota of gold dust by Columbus’ deadline, soldiers would cut off the man’s hands and tie them around his neck to send a message. Slavery was so intolerable for these sweet, gentle island people that at one point, 100 of them committed mass suicide. Catholic law forbade the enslavement of Christians, but Columbus solved this problem. He simply refused to baptize the native people of Hispaniola.

    On his second trip to the New World, Columbus brought cannons and attack dogs. If a native resisted slavery, he would cut off a nose or an ear. If slaves tried to escape, Columbus had them burned alive. Other times, he sent attack dogs to hunt them down, and the dogs would tear off the arms and legs of the screaming natives while they were still alive. If the Spaniards ran short of meat to feed the dogs, Arawak babies were killed for dog food.

    Columbus’ acts of cruelty were so unspeakable and so legendary – even in his own day – that Governor Francisco De Bobadilla arrested Columbus and his two brothers, slapped them into chains, and shipped them off to Spain to answer for their crimes against the Arawaks. But the King and Queen of Spain, their treasury filling up with gold, pardoned Columbus and let him go free.

    And there’s more.

  • birgerjohansson

    Re. cheering when people die:

    I bought a cream cake when general Pinochet died. But I missed out on the 50th anniversary of Hitler’s suicide.

    When Thatcher died, i celebrated by watching youtube clips of the satire program “Spitting Image” taunting her, like when she cosied up to Botha and the Apartheid government.

  • birgerjohansson

    A look at good and bad Southern leaders at the time of the revolutionary wars:

    Thomas Jefferson, hypocrite. Robert ‘Councillor’ Carter, emancipator. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/02/15/1363268/-Thomas-Jefferson-hypocrite-Robert-Councillor-Carter-emancipator

    Robert Carter, a good southern guy of the 18th century!

    Jefferson, arsehole.

  • birgerjohansson

    The Leage of the South would probably like this guy too:

    “Rather than encouraging his countrymen to liberate their slaves, he (Jefferson) opposed both private manumission and public emancipation. Even at his death, Jefferson failed to fulfill the promise of his rhetoric: his will emancipated only five slaves, all relatives of his mistress Sally Hemings, and condemned nearly 200 others to the auction block. Even Hemings remained a slave, though her children by Jefferson went free.

    Nor was Jefferson a particularly kind master. He sometimes punished slaves by selling them away from their families and friends, a retaliation that was incomprehensibly cruel even at the time.

    .

    A proponent of humane criminal codes for whites, he advocated harsh, almost barbaric, punishments for slaves and free blacks. Known for expansive views of citizenship, he proposed legislation to make emancipated blacks “outlaws” in America, the land of their birth. Opposed to the idea of royal or noble blood, he proposed expelling from Virginia the children of white women and black men.”

  • eric

    StevoR:

    Colombus – although if it hadn’t been him someone else probably would have later.

    AIUI, pretty much any reasonably-sized group from Europe would have qualified. Even noble and well-intentioned groups, because IIRC the native americans suffered a massive, continent-wide die-off from multiple epidemics in the 1500s-1600s. Guess the source. This is not to excuse the intentional barbarism and cruelty of the conquistadors and later US government towards the natives, or our later biowarfare against them (i.e., distributing smallpox blankets in the mid 1700s). Its just to say that European diseases may have killed up to 90% of the native population prior to European violence and conquest killing or enslaving most of the remainder.

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    “The League of the South looks to the present and future. However, from time to time we do look back at our past.”

    “Actually, we mostly look at the past, because the present and future scare the shit out of us.”

  • Kermit Sansoo

    Dan4 – Wikipedia:

    “Antisocial (or dissocial) personality disorder [sociopathy] is characterized by a pervasive pattern of disregard for, or violation of, the rights of others. There may be an impoverished moral sense or conscience and a history of crime, legal problems, and impulsive and aggressive behavior.”

    .

    Someone without a conscience, who may mimic but actually has no empathetic connections with other human beings. Such a person would not likely celebrate somebody’s death who was generally held responsible for other people’s suffering or contributing to a more lawless norm. Even Hitler is not considered to have been a sociopath by a consensus of mental health care professionals.

    .

    Were all the munchkins sociopaths?

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    I did NOT cheer when Falwell died — his legacy is still alive and his death didn’t really improve anything.