Robertson: ‘Witches’ are ‘Cursing’ Babies Through Facebook Pictures

Oh, Pat Robertson. What would I do without you? How much more difficult would my job be if I didn’t have you regularly spouting some of the dumbest things imaginable. The latest: He says witches can curse your child if you put an ultrasound picture of them on Facebook.

In an email to Robertson on Monday’s 700 Club, a viewer explained that her daughter was pregnant.

“Young parents now regularly post fetal ultrasound photos as their Facebook photo,” the woman wrote. “From a spiritual point of view, is there any harm in doing this?”

At first, Robertson said that he didn’t think that posting ultrasound photos was harmful, but then he seemed to change his mind.

“There are demons and there are evil people in the world,” he said. “And you post a picture like that, and some cultist gets a hold of it or a coven and they begin muttering curses against an unborn child.”

“I just don’t think this business of posting photos of the most intimate parts of your body on Facebook, I just can’t see it,” the TV preacher added. “To me, it’s abhorrent. But it isn’t necessarily unbiblical. It’s just abhorrent.”

And they would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for that pesky TV evangelist!

httpv://youtu.be/7Yfmi3rIA3k

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • dingojack

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW_02k7LRMo

    What more is there to say?

    @@ Dingo

  • Mr Ed

    Whats the difference between Pat Robertson and Kim Kardashian? Nothing, the both crave and profit from being in the spotlight and they both do something outrageous when the feel the spotlight leaving.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    One thing I’ll say for witches: they seem to have an uncanny ability to get hardcore reich-wing Christians to believe their spells actually work.

    Whats the difference between Pat Robertson and Kim Kardashian?

    I’ve seen no evidence that the latter is even one-tenth as malicious as the former.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Pat Robertson does know that there are photos of Pat Robertson on the internet, right?

  • raven

    Robertson is stating that witches, demons, and curses are stronger and more powerful than his gods, angels, and prayers.

    And using his reasoning, nobody should ever post pictures any where. If witches can use pictures to curse people, what is to stop them from cursing all the users on Facebook? What is the difference between an ultrasound and a picture of you with your dog?

    I can see where this is going. Facebook will have to hire an army of prayer warriors to keep spam, malware, demons, and witch curses from infecting it.

    PS if witch’s curses had any power, Bush and Romney would have long ago been vaporized.

  • dingojack

    Or perhaps

    Dingo

  • dugglebogey

    If pressed I believe Pat would expose that he is anti-ultrasound. They are way too “sciency” for him.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Raging Bee “I’ve seen no evidence that the latter is even one-tenth as malicious as the former.”

    She’s got a malicious booty. Or maybe I misheard.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    At first, Robertson said that he didn’t think that posting ultrasound photos was harmful, but then he seemed to change his mind.

    At first Robertson was about to give his caller some common-sense advice, but then he remembered that no one calls him for common-sense advice — they call him to hear outrageous tales of magic and demons that only he can protect them from, if they give him money. So he changed his mind and gave the caller what she wanted.

  • Kevin Kehres

    @5 Raven

    Facebook will have to hire an army of prayer warriors to keep spam, malware, demons, and witch curses from infecting it.

    For the modest price of $29.95 a month, of course.

  • John Pieret

    It must be weird living in the 17th Century and still have to deal with the internet, television and smart phones. Do you suppose he thinks they are magical too?

  • dingojack

    “‘More weight’ he said and then he died — he was a fearsome man was Giles Corey”

    Dingo

  • matty1

    So which witch cursed Pat with stupidity?

  • eric

    @4: my thoughts exactly. A televangelist is claiming putting your image out in electronic media is a spiritual no-no?

  • colnago80

    Re dingojack @ #6

    Rolf Harris likes him some underage girls.

  • Akira MacKenzie

    Welcome to the 21st Century where we have abandoned ignorance and superst… FUCK!

  • Sastra

    “There are demons and there are evil people in the world,” he said. “And you post a picture like that, and some cultist gets a hold of it or a coven and they begin muttering curses against an unborn child.”

    In addition to the advanced thinking of the Middle Ages, Robertson here seems to be magnifying the importance of him and his followers. Why yes, there are scads of witches and demons out there focused like a laser on finding and cursing ultrasound photos of Christian wombs. It’s like Biblical fan fic.

  • cptdoom

    Whats the difference between Pat Robertson and Kim Kardashian?

    Um, there’s no one on earth who would want to watch a Pat Robertson sex tape?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    cptdoom “Um, there’s no one on earth who would want to watch a Pat Robertson sex tape?”

    Revenues to my website, hotpatroberson.com, say otherwise. People love it. Black and white makes it seem classy. Plus, hipsters dig the silent era.

  • Loqi

    Um, there’s no one on earth who would want to watch a Pat Robertson sex tape?

    Oh, I don’t know, I could come up with a few things people might want to see…

    Pat being pegged by a gay pagan trans man wouldn’t do anything for me sexually, but I’d be lying if I said some of the darker parts of my mind wouldn’t derive some small amount of perverse pleasure from the poetic justice of it.

    Which probably says more about me than anything.

  • Loqi

    For the record, Irealize my comment can be read as Robertson getting raped. That was not intended. I would relish him being humiliated by his own hypocrisy, not raped.

  • U Frood

    Strange that Robertson is portraying “witches” as more powerful than his own god.

  • D. C. Sessions

    At first, Robertson said that he didn’t think that posting ultrasound photos was harmful, but then he seemed to change his mind.

    He’s slipping. Remember, Pat, it’s all about fear. Keep dialing up the fear, loathing, and hatred.

  • pixiedust

    “Um, there’s no one on earth who would want to watch a Pat Robertson sex tape?”

    My impression is that the market for sex tapes/pornography is apparently limitless. I’d guess that there are millions of people who would watch a Pat R. sex tape. I’m not one of them and don’t care what they do with their free time, but of their existence I have no doubt.

  • lorn

    “Whats the difference between Pat Robertson and Kim Kardashian?”

    Silicone.

  • grumpyoldfart

    What do you reckon his family will do when Pat snuffs it? Will they follow the money and continue preaching the ‘oogedy-boogedy’ nonsense? Or will they tone down the sermons and settle for a little less cash?

  • yaque

    Uh, people, remember rule 34.

  • dmcclean

    I didn’t think Pat Robertson recognized a difference between the categories “things that are unbiblical” and “things that are abhorrent to Pat Robertson”.

  • raven

    …“things that are unbiblical” and “things that are abhorrent to Pat Robertson”.

    There is nothing in the bible about witches using images to cast spells. In the bible you pray to god, imprecatory prayer, to curse your enemies. This is still done FWIW in parts of Africa, Arizona and Missouri. Several xian ministers publicly tried to kill Obama with xian witchcraft, Drake and Anderson. Overrated, it didn’t work.

    Robertson is confusing xianity with…Voodoo. Or at least the modern cartoon version where they take hair and fingernails and construct a doll and then stick pins in it.

    Not bad for a leading xian minister. Pat’s version is Syncretic, where he just takes odds and ends, frequently pulled out from his murky brain, and mixes and matches them in an ever changing mess.

  • mordred

    So that’s the deal with Haeckel’s embryo pictures. Embryos actually look like tiny people before witches turn them into newts! They get better later.

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    Ah! The mummy’s curse: ” You F-ing, children!!!”*

     

    ________________________

    *for our non-US readers only

  • U Frood

    Several xian ministers publicly tried to kill Obama with xian witchcraft, Drake and Anderson. Overrated, it didn’t work.

    Was God too busy fixing sporting events?

  • busterggi

    Good thing the curses won’t take effect until the children prick their finger on a spindle.

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    What is the difference between an ultrasound and a picture of you with your dog?

    In Pat’s primitive mind, ultrasound pictures are already magic. They allow you to see what otherwise would be invisible. That makes the baby more vulnerable to a witch’s curse.

  • caseloweraz

    As Raven says (#29), this is quite similar to the method of cursing in the religion sometimes called Santería, which works by sympathetic magic: you affect the person by cursing or damaging an object representing that person — such as a photograph.

    Which gives me an opportunity I have awaited for years and years: a chance to quote the woman in The Horror of Party Beach who declared, “It’s the voodoo, I tells ya!”

    And for those wondering whether all images are subject to cursing, I suggest that, to be cursable, the image must: a) show the complete individual; and b) cannot show more than one individual. Thus, a picture of a boy and his dog would be safe. (The question of group-cursing is above my pay grade.)

    But seriously, this is not Pat Robertson’s first foray into such matters. Wikipedia says:

    In 2010, following the 7.0 earthquake that devastated Haiti, negative attention to Vodou also followed. One of the more notable examples would be […] televangelist Pat Robertson’s televised discourse on the subject. Robertson stated that the country had cursed itself after the events at Bois-Caiman because he claimed they had engaged in Satanic practices in the ceremony preceding the Haitian Revolution. “They were under the heel of the French, you know Napoleon the third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said ‘We will serve you if you will get us free from the prince.’ True story. And so the devil said, ‘Ok it’s a deal.’ And they kicked the French out. The Haitians revolted and got something themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after another”.[51][52]

    I remember that Ed had a post about this.

  • caseloweraz

    @Dingojack (#6):

    The Knob Lick Upper 10,000 did that one better.

  • Kermit Sansoo

    ArtK says: What is the difference between an ultrasound and a picture of you with your dog?

    .

    In Pat’s primitive mind, ultrasound pictures are already magic. They allow you to see what otherwise would be invisible. That makes the baby more vulnerable to a witch’s curse.

    .

    Probably for half the population there is real magic, although they don’t call it that. Spooky, mysterious stuff that some people can perform. It sometimes works, but sometimes doesn’t. They all want your money, and because they’re rivals, they all bad mouth the others. These categories of incomprehensible powers include, but are not limited to:

    Divine miracles, and diabolical curses.

    Astrology.

    Witchcraft.

    Santeria.

    Science.

    Alternative medicines.

    Lesser ones, less accessible to most, or limited in scope, like martial arts, ancient knowledge of First Nation peoples, etc.

    .

    So in our current example we have the example of science making God’s miraculous baby (the 20,355,189,284th little miracle, I believe) available to witchcraft (which Robertson is conflating with Satanism).

  • Crimson Clupeidae

    What about the real threat here? I’m talking about dingoes that eat babies through the interwebs!!!

  • dingojack

    So Patty-cake — Napoleon III got the keys to Obama’s Time-machine & Mind-control Device ™, travelled back in time 61 years (17 years before he was even born) to declare himself Emperor of France on the island of Haiti? And what did Legislative Assembly & Citizen Robespierre have to say about that? Did they guillotine the “Emperor’s” uncle? @@

    ‘True-story’ my ass!