CPAC Shows Us How to Journalist

If there’s one thing CPAC can teach us, it’s how to do the kind of hard-hitting journalism that Fox News is known for. The conservative wankfest included partisan hack Sean Hannity doing a sit-down interview with Ted Cruz and asking him tough questions like this:

After Sen. Ted Cruz’s speech at CPAC today, Sean Hannity came out to interview him, asking him such hardball questions as “Why does Ted Cruz love America?”

He followed that up with, “How did you get to be so dreamy?” Then fellow Fox talking head Laura Ingraham interviewed Chris Christie and lobbed this softball at him:

“How do you survive this onslaught day in and day out?” Ingraham asked.

Christie responded that the “elite folks from the media” don’t like the fact that he decided to “take on a lot of these special interests frontally, that they support.” “They just want to kill you,” Christie said. “That’s what they try to do to me every day.”

Is there anything more absurd than a hugely powerful political figure with close ties to the richest people in the country calling other people “elites”? It’s pandering to the inane grievances of the dumbest people in the country. Christie also said he doesn’t read the New York Times, which separates him from Sarah Palin, who reads “whatever newspapers they put in front of me.”

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  • Michael Heath

    Ed writes:

    The conservative wankfest [CPAC] included partisan hack Sean Hannity . . .

    I don’t think ‘partisan hack’ sufficiently describes Sean Hannity. I would also add ‘dim-witted’.

  • John Pieret

    Yeah, poor Chris Christie needs to get back with the “common folks,” like Jimmy Jones and just go see a football game!

  • Al Dente

    If Christie wants to visit the little people he should stay away from Fort Lee, where even some of the middle people do not hold him in high regard.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    “How did you get to be so dreamy?”

    And Hannity didn’t follow that up with a marriage proposal??!?

  • Mr Ed

    CPAC has gone full on Poe, can we really be sure it isn’t performance art?

    I read that email scammers intentionally make their come ons obvious to filter all but the most gullible. I wonder if the conservative movement isn’t doing the same sort of thing with donors.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    In fairness, most red lectroids take years of training to pretend to be people.

  • ehmm

    Starbursts? Please tell me there were “thousands of little starbursts”.

    Now I’m going to go scream into a pillow for a few hours.

  • Larry

    Other hard hitting questions Sean might ask:

    1) In your opinion, how much does Obama suck?

    2) Give me the number of ways Benghazi has destroyed America?

    3) As a follow-up, how many times more than Obama do you love, love, mind you, not like, America?

    and finally,

    4) Governor Christie, if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Marcus Ranum “In fairness, most red lectroids take years of training to pretend to be people.”

    It’s too bad John Bigboote isn’t running for the nomination this time.

  • http://saltycurrent.blogspot.com SC (Salty Current)

    And how to comedy.

    (To be perfectly honest, I think Santorum’s quip would have been funny if told by someone on the Left who’s obviously not a birther. As it was, it sounded like he was stupid, like he was trying to pander to what he thought was a stupid audience, or like he was mocking the birthers in his own party.)

  • ehmm

    Please, please, please let Santorum be on the ticket in 2016.

  • http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

    CPAC- it’s like Comicon for assholes.

  • http://drx.typepad.com Dr X

    Italian-America guy from NJ does not use the word folks in that way unless he’s a pandering, disingenuous jackass.

  • http://www.literateperversions.com Chris Hall

    Of course, let’s not forget that CPAC also showed us how to atheist. Apparently you do it by kicking the poor to the curb and shrinking government.

  • lorn

    “Christie also said he doesn’t read the New York Times, which separates him from Sarah Palin, who reads “whatever newspapers they put in front of me.””

    Who knew that Sarah Palin would turn out to be the thinker in the GOP? Color me flabbergasted.

  • generalfactotum

    “Ted, if you were a tree, what tree would you be?”

  • generalfactotum

    Oops – sorry. Already done.

  • abear

    I’m curious as to what Jamila Bey has to say about CPAC.

  • sunsangnim

    It seems like there’s always some sort of conservative conference in the news: CPAC, Value Voters Summit, and whatever other hatefests they have. What are the progressive equivalents? Some of the stupidest people in the country get all this free press and we’re here talking about them. Can you imagine an alternate universe in which Hillary Clinton has to show up and defend her progressive credentials to a group of single-payer advocates? Or one in which all the major news networks are discussing a major speech by Bernie Sanders?

  • anubisprime

    lorn @ 15

    Who knew that Sarah Palin would turn out to be the thinker in the GOP?

    Ssshhh!!!,,,they have been trying to keep that one a secret!..now you have ruined the surprise!

  • http://saltycurrent.blogspot.com SC (Salty Current)

    It seems like there’s always some sort of conservative conference in the news: CPAC, Value Voters Summit, and whatever other hatefests they have. What are the progressive equivalents? Some of the stupidest people in the country get all this free press and we’re here talking about them. Can you imagine an alternate universe in which Hillary Clinton has to show up and defend her progressive credentials to a group of single-payer advocates? Or one in which all the major news networks are discussing a major speech by Bernie Sanders?

    That’s a very good point.

  • marcus

    “They just want to kill you,” Christie said. “That’s what they try to do to me every day.”

    Ninjas!

    Stay strong, Chris, stay strong.

    PS Never try to attack ninjas “frontally”. You’ve got to be stealthy!