Wingnut: Flee the Country, God is Going to Destroy It

Deranged bigot Rick Wiles of TruNews radio brought on a man named John Price, who told his listeners this week that the time has come to leave the United States because the Supreme Court is going to force same-sex marriage on the country and then God is going to destroy it.

Price told Wiles that other Americans should consider leaving the U.S., which he said is “truly is the daughter of Babylon” as a result of the upcoming Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage.

“For Christians, there’s a really major troublesome thing coming and it’s going to be set loose on the country sometime between now and the end of June,” he said, predicting that the Supreme Court will “prohibit any state from establishing the parameters of marriage” and make “same-sex marriage the law of the land.”…

The two Religious Right activists agreed that once the Supreme Court strikes down bans on same-sex marriage, God will unleash His wrath upon America in the form of an “old fashioned paddling.”

“I honestly believe this is going to be the ruling that America crosses the line,” Wiles said. “What would a human father do with a son or daughter that had been blessed, had been a fairly good child most of his or her life and then suddenly just goes off the rails and becomes evil, wicked, rebellious, defiant? What would that father do? He would strip away that child’s blessings, and that’s exactly what our heavenly father is going to do to the United States of America. We’re about to get an old-fashioned paddling that is going to be extremely painful for this nation. ”

He recommended that “people who don’t want to be paddled” choose to “flee” the country.

Price concluded that God will permit widespread “persecution of the church, pastors being arrested” in order to encourage Christians to flee: “He’s a loving God and he would allow persecution for a good purpose.”

In the immortal words of David Spade on Saturday Night Live: Buh bye now.

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  • colnago80

    That’s a great idea. Where are they planning to flee to? Iran, Russia, Saudi Arabia? Certainly not Canada, or most of Europe.

  • John Pieret

    While I would feel some pity for wherever they go (Uganda is nice this time of year, I’m told, and has laws about gays you’ll like) just don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

  • anubisprime

    Please Please let that be so..almost worth praying for!

    (I did specify ‘ALMOST’ ;-))

  • whheydt

    If only he and his followers will take the advice…

  • raven

    Cthulhu, this would be a dream come true.

    1. Isn’t going to happen. These are just xians getting their hypocrisy sacrament in. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

    2. If the fundies would flee the USA and renounce their USA citizenship, the rest of us would cheerfully pay for their one way plane ticket to anywhere.

    This would be one of the easiest fund raising opportunities in about forever.

  • cjcolucci

    Why would God wait to vent His wrath until the United States fell into sin? What are all the other countries, most culturally Christian, that already have same-sex marriage–chopped liver?

  • birgerjohansson

    I don’t even live in USA, but I would gladly contribute to the ticket fund rainsing.

    They can settle down in… I dunno. Russia? The Vatican? Andorra is a tiny feudal place that might appeal to them. Also, far from any influence.

  • Johnny Vector

    God will unleash His wrath upon America in the form of an “old fashioned paddling.”

    Well hey! As the girls said to Sir Galahad, “A spanking! A spanking! There’s going to be a spanking!”

    And we all know what comes after the spanking.

  • besomyka

    Could we be so lucky?

  • matty1

    Wait I thought international migration was bad?

  • petemoulton

    Leaving won’t help ’em. Their pathetic deity is notorious for its miserable aim.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Unfortunately, these dire warnings aren’t getting the press coverage that they deserve. It’s a pity that they aren’t making the evening news on all of the major channels.

  • dmcclean

    Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.

  • caseloweraz

    Wait a minute! If acceptance of same-sex marriage is a viler sin than murder or genocide, as someone insisted a few days ago — so vile a sin that it nullifies the Christian deity’s promise of forgiveness — then surely said deity wouldn’t wait until the sin had been finally committed, damning everyone in the country to eternal hellfire. He would destroy the USA beforehand, in order to save at least some of its immortal souls.

  • theguy

    “old fashioned paddling.”

    Translation: Genocide from a “loving” God!

    “What would a human father do with a son or daughter that had been blessed, had been a fairly good child most of his or her life and then suddenly just goes off the rails and becomes evil, wicked, rebellious, defiant? What would that father do? He would strip away that child’s blessings”

    And beat the child half to death? To make the analogy consistent, that’s what would have to happen. Legalizing gay marriage would make us better than we were before; certainly better than a homophobic God who commits mass murder.

    “He’s a loving God and he would allow persecution for a good purpose.”

    The fuck? What do you even say to suck a sick mindset?

  • moarscienceplz

    Can I help you pack?

  • teawithbertrand

    @8

    Yes, extra points to Price for the creepy paddling metaphor. Because this shit wasn’t weird or off-putting enough.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    “Talking out of turn? That’s a paddlin’. Lookin’ out the window? That’s a paddlin’. Staring at my sandals? That’s a paddlin’. Gay marriage? Oh, you better believe that’s a paddlin’.” ~ Jasper Beardly

  • Larry

    Could we possibly be so cruel as to push this infestation of fundy RWNJs onto other countries.

    Yes. Yes we could.

  • Nick Gotts

    *phew*

    At least they won’t flee to Scotland! We instituted marriage equality in time.

  • kantalope

    Loving god as child abuser. Well ain’t that special?

  • Synfandel

    I plan to organize a tailgating party on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls where we’ll get a good view of the wrath unleashing. Beer, poutine, and a show. What could be better?

  • http://johnm55.wordpress.com johnm55

    Where ya gonna run to? I don’t see you being over welcome in the UK or anywhere in Europe really, not that you would want to come, we have marriage equality here. The ISIS controlled areas of Iraq and Syria are reasonably welcoming to homophobes I hear.

  • Crimson Clupeidae

    Can we start a gofundme campaign to buy a lot of one way tickets? They can choose their own destinations. Of course, we can’t guarantee the reception they’ll get….

  • http://mostlyrational.net tacitus

    At least they won’t flee to Scotland!

    You mean the future socialist republic of Scotland? Yep, I doubt they will find a welcoming home there.

    Fact is, if they were being honest, there is nowhere on Earth these wingnuts would find acceptable. Even the most conservative democracies in the world, like Switzerland and Singapore, have national healthcare systems and strict gun control laws.

    I believe that’s why you normally hear more about secession than fleeing the country. They want to leave, but they want to take piece of the country with them.

  • Michael Heath

    The bigots leaving could eradicate the pending funding shortfalls for Social Security and Medicare.

  • llewelly

    It’s wrong to wish these characters on other nations. After all, that’s how things like the Lord’s Resistance Army got started – Christians travelling to other nations.

    But perhaps they can be encouraged to settle on abandonded offshore oil platforms.

  • grumpyoldfart

    I’ll bet Price was on a fee plus a percentage of donations that came in that day.

    If you want to earn big money you’ve got to make big statements.

  • shadow

    This has the possibility of freeing up all the property currently held by the tax-exempt churches. Also, thanks to global climate change, they could colonize Antarctica! Think of it — they can created their own “paradise” and, because their god is so loving, it could prove it’s might by making it a viable location for their fundie hell-hole.

  • busterggi

    Mr. Wiles, as the quote says, “You’re gonna need a bigger boat. “

  • dingojack

    theguy (#15) – Nah, in order to get it right you’d have to drown your ‘wayward’ child in the bath, along with any number of innocent animals and plants…

    @@

    Dingo

    ———

    Oh BTW Rick, Australia doesn’t have marriage equality laws (Our ‘fearless’ Leader won’t allow a vote on it). But don’t even think about it – ‘We decide who comes to this country and the circumstances in which they come’.

    Welcome to Stalag-Nauru!

  • lorn

    They say they are ‘going Galt’ and leaving, but they never do.

    It is very frustrating.

  • dingojack

    lorn – perhaps we could try Arthur Conan Doyle’s trick. Email them a message simply saying:

    “FLEE AT ONCE. ALL IS DISCOVERED!!”.

    My guess is, at the very least, 80% will flee.

    :) Dingo

  • anubisprime

    busterggi @ 30

    “You’re gonna need a bigger boat. “

    Ken Ham has got it covered…no sweat!

    Might have to extend it to a sizable fleet though…the devil is in the detail, but I am sure tax credits can be granted for this very worthwhile project hell failing that we can even have a whip round…sorted…rejoice xtians…we got ya back!

  • birgerjohansson

    Maybe Australia could sell off the “Nullarbor” region to them so they can start a new country in the desert?

    And they can buy water from the Australians…at a price the Australians decide (evil laughter).

  • lorn

    anubisprime @34:

    busterggi @ 30

    “You’re gonna need a bigger boat. “

    Ken Ham has got it covered…no sweat!

    Might have to extend it to a sizable fleet though…the devil is in the detail, but I am sure tax credits can be granted for this very worthwhile project hell failing that we can even have a whip round…sorted…rejoice xtians…we got ya back!

    LOL. The thought of the lights of the right stuffing themselves onto Ham’s ersatz boat for an oceanic voyage, and the hilarity that ensues as the non-boat falls apart and sinks, despite the free-market confidence and Christian faith that all will be well, brings a smile to my face and a song to my heart.

    It might look something like this, but with O’Reily, Hannity, Palin, Backmann, Limbaugh, and as many of the rest of the clown car cavalcade of mindless ignorance and self-serving partisan viciousness as can be shoehorned in:

    http://si.wsj.net/public/resources/images/PT-AM296_MPMEDU_G_20090814130119.jpg

    I may need to get a framed copy and hang it on my wall so I can regularly cheer myself up.