The Life of a Former Fetus

Texas Right to Life has been distributing signs to state legislators there declaring them to be a “former fetus.” Like Rep. Jonathan Strickland, who put this sign outside his office:

plaquejpg

But why would you want to be a former fetus? Only fetuses matter. The moment you’re born, you’re useless and evil. It’s all that original sin shit. Like right now, Christian groups are trying to prevent young immigrant women who were raped on their journey to America from getting emergency contraception. The moment the kids are born, of course, they’ll be part of the invading immigrant army trying to destroy America by bringing in terrible diseases and becoming Muslim, or something.

If you have a choice, stay a fetus. The Christian right loves fetuses. Former fetuses they hate.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • John Pieret

    Former fetus … present moron.

  • mudskipper

    It would be really tempting to add “and future corpse” to those signs, but iundoubtedly they’d misunderstand and take that as a death threat.

  • raven

    #2 already beat me to it.

    Why don’t they put up a sign, “Future dead body”. It’s accurate.

  • raven

    The fundies are big fans of their instruction manual, Orwell’s 1984 and Newspeak.

    For a while they were calling zygotes and fetuses “preborn children”.

    Meaning, they name things after what they will become.

    Cars are now known as “pre-scrap metals. People are pre-deads. And summer is pre-fall. Day is pre-night.

  • raven

    The moment the kids are born, of course, they’ll be part of the invading immigrant army trying to destroy America …

    More specifically, they will be anchor babies.

    Be careful what you wish for. There are some downsides to forced child bearing.

  • dingojack

    “… and – eventually – compost…”

    Dingo

    ———

    JAQUES:

    …’Good morrow, fool,’ quoth I. ‘No, sir,’ quoth he,

    ‘Call me not fool till heaven hath sent me fortune:’

    And then he drew a dial from his poke,

    And, looking on it with lack-lustre eye,

    Says very wisely, ‘It is ten o’clock:

    Thus we may see,’ quoth he, ‘how the world wags:

    ‘Tis but an hour ago since it was nine,

    And after one hour more ’twill be eleven;

    And so, from hour to hour, we ripe and ripe,

    And then, from hour to hour, we rot and rot;

    And thereby hangs a tale.’

  • raven

    …from getting emergency contraception.

    On the basis of lies.

    The fundies claim the morning after pill is an abortion pill. It’s not.

    Slimemold Green of Hobby Lobby used that lie in his Supreme court case attempting to encourage female slavery and forced child bearing of his employees. The Supreme court noted that bc pills and emergency contraception are not abortion pills. They then said that religious beliefs didn’t have to be true.

    It’s OK to believe lies as long as you claim a sincere religious basis for it.

  • dingojack

    Or perhaps:

    Hamlet: … Where be your gibes now? your

    gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,

    that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one

    now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?

  • John Pieret

    raven:

    It’s OK to believe lies as long as you claim a sincere religious basis for it.

    OK? It’s pretty much a prerequisite.

  • llewelly

    Watch out women! You might be aborting a theocrat!

    I’m not sure this is an example of successful political messaging …

  • dingojack

    llewelly – something along this line, perhaps?

    Dingo

  • Thomas Everett

    Raven

    In case you didn’t hear, Diaper Dave Vitter just introduced legislation to deal with it.Of course Vitter the Shitter is too stupid to realize it will require an amendment to the Constitution to fix it,so it will do nothing

  • Deacon Duncan

    Hey can I get a T-shirt that says “Former gamete” on it?

  • John Pieret

    BTW, one former fetus is likely to stay a present Federal prisoner for a while.

    Kent Hovind was convicted of one of the four counts he was on trial for and the jury hung on the other three. The prosecutor has not indicated if she will seek a retrial on those counts. The charge he was convicted on was for contempt of court. After the court forfeited certain real property of Hovind to pay the IRS for his back taxes and penalties and after he had exhausted his appeals of that order, he continued to make certain filings in the county clerk’s office to delay of stop the IRS from selling the property. In 2012 he was ordered to cease all such filings and he promptly filed a lis pendens warning potential buyers that there was pending litigation over the IRS’ title to them, which there was not, as a way to discourage any sale.

    Federal courts get rather peeved at such conduct and the sentencing guidelines indicate he could get a sentence on that charge of 21-27 months and even up to 31-37 months in prison.

    http://ytmp.blogspot.com/2015/03/kent-hovind-likely-to-be-sentenced-to.html

  • dingojack

    “When people believe that they have absolute knowledge, with no test in reality, this is how they behave. This is what men do when they aspire the knowledge of gods”. – Jacob Bronowski. Ascent of Man.

    Dingo

  • Chiroptera

    They’re claiming to be former fetuses? I want to see the ultrasound images or I won’t believe it.

  • Loqi

    I want one that says “former drunken grope fest and hasty cover-up marriage that ended in abuse and divorce.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1246980039 caseyboucher

    If anything, the fact that dominionist Republicans are former fetuses would seem to be an argument for abortion, not against it.

  • busterggi

    Hmm..wouldn’t that make all the criminals that Texas loves to execute also innocent former fetuses & thus make all executions state-sponsored abortions?

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Reportedly, F.F. Strickland put that sign up specifically to greet Planned Parenthood supporters when they did a lobbying day.

  • matty1

    Reportedly, F.F. Strickland put that sign up specifically to greet Planned Parenthood supporters when they did a lobbying day.

    This is something that confuses me, opponents of legal abortion seem to think that those who do want it to be legal are motivated by a general dislike of fetuses and would be outraged by someone taking pride in having been one. I’ve never heard anyone actually take that line so why do they think it is common?

  • anubisprime

    Are they not the most ridiculous clowns on the face of the Earth?

  • moarscienceplz

    I consider that sign the best PRO-abortion argument I’ve seen.

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    “If you’re pre-born, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re fucked.” — G. Carlin

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    @ raven #5,

    I’ve been reading that Latinos are the fastest-growing group of religious “nones” in the U.S.

    So they are the young people who are having more babies than whites, plus more and more of them are heathens and they’re bringing more potential heathens into the world in the U.S.

    (Plus, the fundigelicals really don’t think Catholics are “real Christians.” Especially the darker-hued ones).

    We are for some interesting times in the next couple of decades.

  • felidae

    I hope the former fetuses in the Texas Lege are proud of their state’s number one status in REPEAT teen pregnancies due in a large part to their support of abstinence-only sex education and opposition to easy availability of contraception and abortion. Also, I’m sure the fact that the number of brown fetuses exceeds the number of white fetuses in Texas is distressing to those fine Republican folks

  • llewelly

    matty1:

    This is something that confuses me, opponents of legal abortion seem to think that those who do want it to be legal are motivated by a general dislike of fetuses and would be outraged by someone taking pride in having been one. I’ve never heard anyone actually take that line so why do they think it is common?

    That’s what happens when people believe the strawman they invented to defame the opposition.

  • http://festeringscabofrealityblogspot.com fifthdentist

    Well, llewelly, you gotta figure people who think that the Man in the Sky, who, after a few thousand years of being such a total dick that he killed 40 children with ravenous bears because they laughed at a bald dude and ordered quite a few genocides decided to take anger management classes and go vegan — in order to enact his new system of forgiveness without slaughtering critters, impregnated a teenage virgin with himself, hung around in a backwater region of the Roman Empire for 33 years, had himself crucified and then reanimated himself; and then waited some 40 years before bothering to have anyone even write down the whole fantastic and miraculous saga, and even then took his time getting word to all of the world’s inhabitants over the course of more than 1,500 years — will believe lots of other ridiculous shit.

  • lorn

    Living proof of the need to extend the allowed time for abortion of a brain dead fetus up the 133rd trimester.

  • grumpyoldfart

    Rep. Jonathan Strickland voted into office by the wise American people.

  • dingojack

    grumpyoldfart — “Rep. Jonathan Strickland voted into office by the wise American people ex-feti”. FIFY.

    @@ Dingo

  • StevoR

    How about former zygote, embryo, fetus, baby, infant toddler and more latterly nappy er make that diaper-wearing tantrum throwing toddler instead?

  • StevoR

    Adding other life stages where appropriate if they have shown they’ve sufficiently grown up. Given US congresscritters and pollies notorious behaviour not so sure any qualify much beyond that last stage listed above.

  • caseloweraz

    @Raven (#4):

    Likewise, politicians are “pre-defeated” or, if they’re lucky, “pre-retired.”

  • Pierce R. Butler

    matty1 @ # 21: I’ve never heard anyone actually take that line so why do they think it is common?

    It seems to be a feed-in for the schtick about “Where would you be if your mother had aborted?”

    I’ve sometimes replied, “Where would you be if she’d had a headache that night?”, but that misses the point that, to them, it’s all about the magic ensoulment at “the moment of conception”.

  • bluentx

    Reading this I wondered, as a taxpayer in Texas, who paid to manufacture and install these inane Frames of Funditude . The answer:

    Right to Life… [spokesperson] Melissa Conway… said the group worked with a “few” legislators to produce the signs and let them decide how they wanted to put them to use.

    Followed by Rep. “Former Fetus ” [now “Lame Liar”] Strickland claiming:

    “It’s just been ripped down and thrown in my staffer’s face by Charlie Geren … intimidating my staff,”…” referring to the Fort Worth Republican who chairs the House Administration Committee.”

    Calling Stickland’s account inaccurate, Geren said he simply removed the signs because they were in violation of rules from the State Preservation Board, which is responsible for making sure the Capitol grounds are maintained.

    So, not only can Pro-Lifers not get their facts straight (about ANYTHING apparently) but they eat their own (fellow Rethuglicans) over stupid shit.

    https://www.texastribune.org/2015/03/11/former-fetus-signs-cause-stir-capitol/

  • http://saltycurrent.blogspot.com SC (Salty Current)

    Yes, we’re former fetuses in the same sense that War and Peace is a former “E.”

    This whole idea is so silly and stupid it’s physically painful. Of course people were once fetuses. But if a pregnancy is aborted, no one is born. There’s no army of ghost people milling about, angry that they weren’t born. There are, however, real women who suffer and die because they’re denied basic rights by assholes like this.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    How about if I call myself a “former sperm cell?” Hmm, that’s not impressive enough…how about “former winner of the Amazing Vagina-to-Uterus-to-Fallopian-Tube Race?” Too bad about all the losers…

  • eric

    I’m a past, present, and future collection of atoms. Therefore we should value all collections of atoms!

  • samgardner

    … and – eventually – compost…”

    LOL.

    I suspect their brains might have rushed to the end game already….

  • DaveL

    Does this actually work on some people? Are there actually people out there who see that and think “Gee, how terrible it is that my mother bore me out of love. If only the government would have stepped in and forced her!” ?

  • http://howlandbolton.com richardelguru

    “The moment you’re born, you’re useless and evil”

    For some people this is true…

  • https://www.facebook.com/joseph.sexton.7 Joseph Sexton

    Looks like lots of “former fetuses” peaked too early. It’s been all downhill since birth for Texas legislators. Some of them haven’t passed a test since the APGAR.

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com WMDKitty — Survivor

    Joseph Sexton

    Some of them haven’t passed a test since the APGAR.

    Oooh, ouch!

    Well, as a former fetus, I never asked to be born.

    These are the same asswagons that insist that terminally ill patients suffer until the long-overdue end, and won’t provide decent pain-relief because someone who’s already dying might become addicted to morphine in their short time left. (Because the War on Drugs is what’s really important when your body is shutting down or being eaten away by cancer…)