Duck Dynasty Dumbass Has Lurid, Violent Fantasies

Phil Robertson, the weapons-grade dumbass who leads the Duck Dynasty family (or as some call them, Ya’ll Qaeda), spoke at a prayer breakfast in Florida and shared with attendees this rather lurid, violent fantasy he has about an atheist family being raped and murdered — but not being able to call it morally wrong because, of course, atheists can’t have morality.

“I’ll make a bet with you,” Robertson told the religious gathering. “Two guys break into an atheist’s home. He has a little atheist wife and two little atheist daughters. Two guys break into his home and tie him up in a chair and gag him.”

“Then they take his two daughters in front of him and rape both of them and then shoot them, and they take his wife and then decapitate her head off in front of him,” Robertson continued, “and then they can look at him and say, ‘Isn’t it great that I don’t have to worry about being judged? Isn’t it great that there’s nothing wrong with this? There’s no right or wrong, now, is it dude?’”

He then imagined the assailants cutting off the atheist’s penis.

“Then you take a sharp knife and take his manhood and hold it in front of him and say, ‘Wouldn’t it be something if [there] was something wrong with this?’” Robertson said. “’But you’re the one who says there is no God, there’s no right, there’s no wrong, so we’re just having fun. We’re sick in the head, have a nice day.’”

Funny how the same guy who worships a God who commands atrocities at least this horrible thinks that atheists have no moral code. That sounds like moral relativism to me.

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  • Pierce R. Butler

    So, uh, Phil – what exactly is the bet you’re making with us?

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Did they serve sausages at this prayer breakfest? With ketchup?

  • celcus

    So he’s announcing that if wasn’t for his fear of divine retribution, he would be some kind of sadistic serial killer? I’d watch my back around this one.

  • gshelley

    I have to wonder if he has thought this through. Does he really think the only reason the scenario is wrong is because he thinks his god would disapprove? Does he fantasize about it happening to him, and he replies “Hey, I don’t care on a personal level, but God objects, so I have to as well?”

  • raven

    For any xians out there. If all that is keeping you from being a violent serial killer is your religion, whatever you do keep believing!!!

    Normal people don’t have that problem so they can just use their common sense.

    FWIW, what Duck guy is describing isn’t morality. It’s obedience and fear.

  • Chiroptera

    Whoa! So the point of having the wife and daughters raped and killed in this story…is to guage the reactions of the father? That seems like yet another level of wrong to me.

  • dugglebogey

    The bible actually endorses rape. But it does prohibit men from wearing long hair.

  • Mr Ed

    He goes to great length to tell us the victims are atheist but does not say anything about the religion of the perpetrators. Is his point bad things happen to atheists. It really sounds like he has taken his persecution complex to violent rape/ murder fantasies.

  • wreck

    The only way Phildo’s fantasy could be any worse is if the victims has to watch Duck Dynasty during the rapes and murders.

    What. An. Asshole.

  • Chris J

    Hey, Phil, remember Job? The guy who had countless horrors and needless death visited upon him and his loved ones for no particular reason other than because Satan convinced God it’d make for a good test of faith?

    Remember how Job kept telling himself that this was God’s plan, that everything was fine because God willed it? Remember how, eventually, Job finally realized “something about this just ain’t right,” but when he finally spoke out in anger and misery God basically told him “Aren’t I great and all knowing, and the only one that can judge? Don’t I get to decide if there’s something wrong with this? I made you along with this whole creation and know every inch of it, so you can’t question my judgement now, can you dude?

    Is your issue that only God gets to be the amoral bastard killing children and mutilating your body? Inquiring minds wish to know.

  • John Pieret

    So he came out with this at a prayer breakfast? Those things usually have kids attending. I wonder what the audience’s reaction was? If they thought it was fine and dandy or even “uplifting,” that just goes to show how prayer affects one’s morality.

  • theguy

    Yesterday I accidentally confused Pat Robertson with duck guy here, so I won’t repeat myself. Duck Quack is definitely disgusting, though. My morals are certainly good enough to condemn a heinous, vicious crime that traumatizes and debilitates its victims. Ducky would praise such action if it was commanded by his “God”

  • busterggi

    So Phil, this sort of thing (and worse) happens pretty often in the real world and your god does nothing to stop it – what does that say about his morality?

  • http://kamakanui.zenfolio.com Kamaka

    http://www.diffen.com/difference/Ethics_vs_Morals

    This guy goes this far astray because of his “morals”. His morals are mostly opinions he really wants to impose upon others. In other words, another fucking bullyboy pretending to know what gods think.

    @ 9

    What. An. Asshole.

    Not all assholes are bullies, but all bullies are assholes.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    On the other hand, this is least bizarre prayer breakfast speech ever given in Florida. Afterwards, things went back to normal, and they settled down to a feast of meth, before the ceremonial watching-a-python-eat-an-alligator.

  • teawithbertrand

    The fact that Robertson’s head is filled with the stuff of nightmares is disturbing, to say the least. His ghoulish use of it to make a bullshit point about atheists being incapable of morality is offensive, but not surprising, and more than a little ironic. I’d love five minutes to explain empathetic reciprocity to him, or the harm principle, or maybe just the idea that not everybody is a psychotic asshole whose raping and killing urges are kept in check only by the threat of make-believe hell fire.

    Fuck you, Phil. Fuck you, fuck your idiotic show, and fuck your tasteless, crappy Walmart merch.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    He seems to be saying it’s okay for ANYONE — Christian, atheist, whatever — to do evil things to atheists, because atheists don’t have morals from God. Which is pretty close to saying his own Christian morals allow him to do evil things to atheists.

    This deranged self-righteous piece of filth should take a flight to northern Syria — he’d fit right in, beard and all.

  • anubisprime

    That sounds like moral relativism to me.

    More like psychopathic mania let lose to titillate the hard of thinking audience.

    And you credit the bozo with an intellectual fallacy that he would neither understand or indeed admit to if by some divine miracle he did.

    The message to take away from this sorry tale is that it would seem some jeebus sunbeams are so fuckin’ scared of atheism they have to concoct bullshite snuff level pornographic images in some bloodsoaked detail to make themselves feel better, and presumably for the teller to gain street cred from the simpering fucktards that ostensibly see nothing wrong in such a graphic depiction of a family being brutally murdered and blaming the family’s atheism on the fact.

    It is chick tract drenched in extreme pornography that masqueraded under the guise of some fuckwit inspired allegory…it was in actual fact fuckin’ sick and depraved hedonistic wish fulfillment.

    Besides is that not after all what they all would really like to see happen to atheists, it would seem so, no one that attended the circle jerk, has apparently objected to the filth they were presented with.

    Can anyone imagine the fallout if it was an atheist at such a gathering that related the tale with an xtian family as the victims, the story teller would have been lynched by the media by now, if not by a group of screaming imbeciles for Christ, doing his holy work, in reality…!

    It was destined to be not so long after they started to give up more or less on teh ghey conspiracy as a lost cause, and instead focused on other legally available vulnerable victims…matter of time, they did not disappoint.

    But it would seem obvious the clown circus is rattled by atheism and atheists…they just have not got the wit or wisdom to deal with their fear on a more rational level.

  • Sastra

    This is religious porn of the “atheist gets their come-uppance” variety. In addition to lascivious fantasies involving nonbelievers screaming in Hell and lamenting every single time they ever snickered, rolled their eyes, or failed to respect a Christian, there”s this crap.

    It’s standard boilerplate theism: Good and Evil are transcendent spiritual values. Right and wrong are only “objective” if they’re imbedded into the nature of Reality. Without God, there’s no way to distinguish good from evil. Religion owns morality.

    Now, let’s fantasize what happens when the atheist realizes that ethically speakin’ … they got nothin‘! Hee Haw!

  • lofgren

    I’ll forego my usual defense of people who use colorful or evocative rhetoric for effect and just say this is some fucked up shit.

    Honestly what strikes me as most frightening isn’t the level of detail. This statement reflects a thought process that is so sloppy and imprecise that it may be.literally impossible to reason with him. He doesn’t have any notion of morals, ethics, values, social norms, or laws and that such things might be different from each other or interact in ways more complex than “God told me so.”

    There is an ongoing debate in atheist circles over whether atheism must remain an elitist position because the rabble need religion in order for society to function. The existence of this rant is such a persuasive argument that I’m almost considering adopting that position myself.

  • Hoosier X

    I saw a baby’s juice cup with Phil Robertson’s face on it. This is a real commercial product that I saw at an Albertson’s grocery store.

    For parents who want to make sure that everybody knows their baby is a racist, homophobic, intolerant fanatic who is potentially a murdering sociopath.

  • grumpyoldfart

    Unsurprisingly, the Christian News Services have decided to keep quiet about the speech.

    Nothing at Religious News Service

    http://www.religionnews.com/

    Nothing at Charisma News

    http://www.charismanews.com/

    Christian Headlines actually quotes part of the speech and adds this comment:

    The speech garnered a wide variety of criticism online.

    http://www.christianheadlines.com/blog/phil-robertson-claims-atheism-leads-to-violence-in-controversial-speech.html

    Nothing at Christian Post either

    http://www.christianpost.com/

    Christian Post does have a story about Phil Robertson:

    http://www.christianpost.com/news/phil-robertson-and-bill-maher-should-be-imprisoned-for-hate-speech-human-rights-activist-says-135983/

    But it refers to an article which appeared on March 18th on another site about a different subject

    http://thoughtcatalog.com/tanya-cohen/2015/03/the-first-amendment-should-never-protect-hatred/

  • hexidecima

    Cue the “moderate” Christians whining that we shouldn’t consider these assholes True Christians.

  • Michael Heath

    Ed writes:

    Funny how the same guy who worships a God who commands atrocities at least this horrible thinks that atheists have no moral code.

    “[A]t least this horrible” isn’t even remotely accurate. The Bible has the Christian god, i.e., Jesus, instead promising infinitely worse atrocities than what Robertson imagines here.

    We non-Christians fail miserably at accurately describing the evil of the Christian god as described in the Bible.

  • raven

    It’s Weinberg’s Law.

    Good people will do good

    Bad people will do bad.

    But it takes religion for good people to do bad.

    FWIW, Phil Robertson falls into case 2 Bad people do bad things. He doesn’t need religion.

    PS As a few have noted, the difference between Phil Robertson, psychopathic wannabe killer and any ISIS follower slaughtering unamed civilians is…well, about as thin as saran wrap.

    It isn’t that he wouldn’t do it so much as that he knows society in general and us in particular won’t let him.

    PS And to reiterate what Ed Brayton said on a different thread today, the media ignored this. They have a strong bias for xians and against atheists and we see it often.

  • iangould

    You’ll notice that although the supposed ppint of Phil’s homily is all about the father he feels the need to make the point that the wife and daughters atew atheists too.

    Because that’s how you know the bitch-whore-cunts were Asking For It.

    You lniow, Phil we all beat off to different stuff but most of us keep our masturvatory fantasies private.

  • http://itsmyworldcanthasnotyours.blogspot.com WMDKitty — Survivor

    His little “fantasy” there is oddly specific…

  • karmacat

    You could do a complete psych article on this guy’s fantasy. There is projection, reaction formation, some paranoia. He even is displaying both penis envy and castration anxiety

  • http://drx.typepad.com Dr X

    Grandpa won’t be babysittin’ the Robertson grandkids anymore.

  • eternalstudent

    Worst. Aristocrats. Ever.

  • theignored

    I posted a comment over on Pharyngula when Myers had this topic.

    Long story short, Robertson is not the only fundy with a messed-up sense of “morality”.

  • billyeager

    @eternalstudent Actually this is a pretty good contender for the construction of the main body of the original ‘Aristocrats’ gag: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats

    Maybe that’s what he was going for. Who am I kidding, nope, he is just a disgusting theist with child-rape and murder/mutilation fantasies.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    I’ll forego my usual defense of people who use colorful or evocative rhetoric for effect and just say this is some fucked up shit.

    Wow, you know you’ve crossed a line when the guy who defends rape-apologist professors (starting @197) won’t stand up for you.

    Lofgren, it really says a lot about you when you’re so quick to wave off even the most sadistic, sexualized, misogynist violent fantasies as “colorful or evocative rhetoric for effect.”

    Honestly what strikes me as most frightening isn’t the level of detail. This statement reflects a thought process that is so sloppy and imprecise…

    You really care more about his sloppy thinking than the extent to which he’s developed his fantasies of rape, torture, mutilation and murder of innocent people? What the ever-loving FUCK is wrong with you? Do you really think that “sloppy thinking” would do more harm to people than the long-nurtured desire to inflict such violence for the lulz?

    There is an ongoing debate in atheist circles over whether atheism must remain an elitist position because the rabble need religion in order for society to function. The existence of this rant is such a persuasive argument that I’m almost considering adopting that position myself.

    Actually, the existence of this rant — along with, oh, a few centuries of sectarian violence and hatred, give or take — should make you discount that position altogether: religion clearly does NOT serve that noble purpose, and it sure as hell didn’t make this reality-TV-redneck even a decent person, let alone a good one. (And it’s not exactly a civilizing influence in Syria, Afghanistan or Iraq these days either, in case you haven’t noticed.) Your failure to appreciate this shows some pretty sloppy thought processes of your own.

  • Saad

    eternalstudent, #29

    Hah!

  • matty1

    It’s Weinberg’s Law.

    Good people will do good

    Bad people will do bad.

    But it takes religion for good people to do bad.

    I’m not convinced by this, based on my limited knowledge both history* and things like the Millgram and Stanford Prison experiments suggest it is disturbingly easy to get good people to do bad. Either that or good people are a very small minority.

    *You could argue that all motivations for violence are really a kind of religion but that gets uncomfortably close to circular reasoning – defining religion as what motivates people to do bad.

  • http://drx.typepad.com Dr X

    Take the same story, but make the storyteller a liberal TV star, the tied up man and his family Christians and have the criminal confront the tied up man with the question: “where’s your all-powerful God now?”

    Stir, pour and watch conservative Christian world go berserk with demands to fire the star . Watch a not insubstantial percentage of liberals agree. Watch the star lose his job.

  • oldskoolnyc

    What I also find fascinating is, under his fantasy said killers would only have to accept Jesus, and they would be forgiven, and enter heaven. While the victims of his twisted vision, would not only be brutally murdered but, tortured for eternity, simply for not believing as the killers do. And this is his vision of morality?

  • samgardner

    Dr. X @ 35,

    You know what, in that scenario I would *desperately* want that person off the air. In fact, more so than Robertson. Robertson is one asshole collecting a paycheck and possibly influencing others who already think basically the way he does already (and for others, it’s probably turning them off of Christianity, which would be a plus).

    A liberal, or an atheist in particular, would be pointed to as showing the “true values” of atheism were they on TV. It would be a horrible statement.

    Dawkins (and PZ at times, and Silverman) are kind of jerks sometimes, and people will use even their comparatively mild statements to paint all atheists as arrogant pricks. I can’t even imagine if there were a loudly public and popular atheist telling lurid murder-rape tales. It’s bad enough being public as an atheist as it is.

  • caseloweraz

    Oldskoolnyc: What I also find fascinating is, under his fantasy said killers would only have to accept Jesus, and they would be forgiven, and enter heaven.

    I’ve assumed Robertson imagines the two intruders to already be Christians. Otherwise, his fantasy has non-Christians killing atheists. How does that show the superiority of Christianity?

  • StevoR

    @7. dugglebogey : “The bible actually endorses rape. But it does prohibit men from wearing long hair.”

    Er, really? Where does it say that and what about Samson?

  • StevoR

    ^ The long hair bit anyhow. I know there’s a few places where the Bible at least appears to condone rape.

    @1.Pierce R. Butler : “So, uh, Phil – what exactly is the bet you’re making with us?”

    If you listen to the audio included with the OP here you’ll find the bet is supposed to be that the atheist here would “probably say something about this just ain’t right!”

    To which l can only say, well yeah – like Ducky’s whole (il)logic and misunderstanding of what atheism actually means for starters along with his assumption that the atheist home owner is going to be male and married to a woman etc .. Plus so much more.

    Hint Beardy Grandpaw Ducky : Just because someone doesn’t believe in a god (even especially your god), it does NOT automatically also mean that they don’t believe in ethics and the existence of right and wrong and / or good and evil. In fact, many people (I’m one of them) would argue that someone who is an atheist and knows that spewing hateful crap like what Duckykins here has said is actually a lot more well developed ethically and of better more admirable moral character than some one who says the kind of crap Duckykins here does.