Pat Robertson Has a Birthday Party

Pat Robertson had a huge bash celebrating his 163rd birthday (I’m rounding up) and it was attended by a who’s who of the wingnut set. Pat Boone, Donald Trump, fellow televangelist con man Kenneth Copeland, all came to pay their respects. Ben Carson even gave a speech.

Carson thanked Robertson for his “positive” outlook on life, seeming to ignore Robertson’s regular pronouncements about America’s imminent destruction at the hands of gays and the Obama administration.

Oh yes, Pat Robertson’s positive outlook on life. Like all the horrible calamities he predicts — sorry, “prophecies” — every year that never come true. He’s predicted global economic collapse several times, none of which actually happened; he’s predicted earthquakes and tsunamis and hurricanes that never happened; he’s predicted that America would get nuked several times. The only thing “positive” about Pat Robertson’s outlook is that he’s positive he can keep bilking the credulous out of their money if he sells them a vision of a dystopic future that only he can prevent. And that’s the only accurate prediction he’s ever made.

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  • dingojack

    Did Patty invite Zombie Ray-gun?

    :) Dingo

  • DaveL

    Donald Trump was there, of course, in his capacity as the personal representative of Mammon.

  • John Pieret

    What? Only Trump and Carson … only one and a half presidential candidates? How did Ted Cruz miss this?

  • http://www.holytape.etsy.com holytape

    Why couldn’t this have been a roast in the most literal meaning of the word?

  • Larry

    #3 John

    A Pat birthday party only merits the “B” list candidates. Think of it as the difference between a roast of Johnny Carson and one for Adam Sandler.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Like all the horrible calamities he predicts — sorry, “prophecies” — every year that never come true.

    To be fair, he did predict that the kids these days would enjoy music that’s just noise.

  • dingojack
  • John Pieret

    Poor Pat has a sad:

    Today on “The 700 Club,” Pat Robertson fielded a question from a viewer who asked what he should do about his son who plans to have a child with his husband.

    The dejected televangelist said that while it would be “wrong” for his gay son to raise a child, he conceded that there wasn’t much the viewer can do — besides praying and speaking out about it — because the courts have largely sided with gay rights advocates.

    “This so-called lifestyle — I just can’t believe it, they have tried to destroy marriage,” Robertson said. “Marriage is between a man and a woman and they’ve now brought cases to the Supreme Court saying, well, the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional and so forth. So what should you do? You better get on your knees and pray and let the Lord take care of it because there isn’t a whole lot else you can do.”

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/pat-robertson-so-called-gay-people-have-destroyed-marriage

    And so soon after his birthday!

  • Pierce R. Butler

    Pat Robertson had a huge bash celebrating his 163rd birthday (I’m rounding up)…

    Is even Robertson enough of a blowhard to huff out that many candles?

  • cry4turtles

    Pat Robertson wants to grow up and be a duck dynasty Robertson. If it walks like a duck…

  • dingojack

    John Pieret — Well, to be fair

    Dingo

  • Sastra

    Carson thanked Robertson for his “positive” outlook on life, seeming to ignore Robertson’s regular pronouncements about America’s imminent destruction at the hands of gays and the Obama administration.

    Technically speaking, from within an apocalyptic mindset that IS a “positive outlook,” since the worse things get the closer we are to the time when Jesus comes back and purges the world of the wicked. Hallelujah!

    Robertson’s Christianity is the apex of positivity, since even bad news is Good News. He can’t lose.

    And as for the failed prophesies, Robertson no doubt coasts along on the same rationalizations people give for failed psychics. If they weren’t wrong some of the time then they would be cheats. The fact that they make mistakes only shows how honest and trustworthy they really are.

  • moarscienceplz

    Pat Robertson had a huge bash celebrating his 163rd birthday (I’m rounding up) and it was attended by a who’s who of the wingnut set. Pat Boone, Donald Trump, fellow televangelist con man Kenneth Copeland, all came to pay their respects. Ben Carson even gave a speech.

    There’s never a meteorite around when you really need one.

  • lorn

    Pat Robertson’s cash flow is very positive.