Carly Fiorina Slanders Government Employees

Carly Fiorina, the former CEO of Hewlett-Packard who says she’s 90% sure she’s going to run for the Republican presidential nomination, threw some red meat to the right wing by casually slandering a few million government employees by claiming they just sit around watching porn all day.

Former Hewlett Packard CEO Carly Fiorina, who is expected to announce a campaign for president, said over the weekend that she could improve the economy by cutting federal worker pay because they were “watching porn all day long.”…

“Washington, D.C. has become a vast and unaccountable bureaucracy. It’s been growing for 40 years,” she opined. “We have no idea how our money is spent.”

Fiorina said that she had two prong plan for boosting the economy by reforming the federal government.

“One, zero-based budgeting so we actually know where money is being spent, and we’re talking about the whole budget and not just the rate of increase,” she remarked. “And two, pay for performance in our civil service.”

“We have — how many Inspector General reports do we need to read that say, you know, you can watch porn all day long and get paid exactly the same way as somebody who’s trying to do their job?”

There are about three million employees of the federal government and nearly 15 million employees of state and local governments. The Inspector General report she refers to is about a single EPA employee who had downloaded porn to their work computer. One. On that basis, she just casually slanders millions of people who work their asses off. Wanna bet there were more than a few people at Hewlett-Packard when she was CEO who were downloading porn?

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  • wreck

    I doubt they’re all watching porn all day. I’m sure some of them are playing solitaire.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Wanna bet there were more than a few people at Hewlett-Packard when she was CEO who were downloading porn?

    I know plenty of people who worked for HP then (and I suspect plenty of stockholders, too) who wish she had just been spending her days on porn.

  • Trebuchet

    I bet there are plenty of people using HP products to GET their porn, too. She’s an enabler!

  • Mr Ed

    When I look for someone to run this country I’m not looking for someone who will make informed decisions I want someone who has no problem with stereotypes. All government workers are Patty and Selma from the Simpsons, all soldiers John Wayne and union workers are collecting triple double overtime and not even showing up. At least thats how they are in the movies.

  • Larry

    No wonder she was so beloved by all her peonsemployees at HP.

  • blf

    Amusingly, there was a report in The Grauniad some time ago about staff at UK’s GCHQ (the equivalent of USA’s NSA) complaining about the amount of porn they “had” to watch. Apparently, a surprisingly(?)-high percentage of the FarceBork, webcam, and similar traffic intercepted and monitored by the goons is, basically, porn…

    There’s no reason that I am aware of to think the NSA, or people’s habits, are significantly different in the USA, so I would suggest that if there are federal employees / contractors out there who do watch a lot of porn, it’s the NSA. (Yes, there are supposedly some restrictions on the NSA, unlike GCHQ, but you’d have to be dumber than a very stooopid eejit to even consider the possibility that the NSA pays the slightest bit of attention.)

  • http://artk.typepad.com ArtK

    @Mr. Ed

    You forgot to mention: You also want a titan of industry as president because running a country is just like running a company.

    (Bonus points if said “titan,” like Fiorina, was a miserable failure.)

  • daved

    Exactly, Art K. She decided to do the HP merger with Compaq, thus ensuring that the resulting HP would be heavily into a low-margin business. It’s actually a little surprising HP is still in business after that.

    Still, it probably won’t hurt her. I mean, it’s not like George W. Bush was a real big success in business and that didn’t stop him from becoming Governor of Texas and President of the US. On the other hand, I don’t think Fiorina has ever won elective office, so why would we think she’d be good at that, either?

  • blf

    Ye Pffft! of All Knowledge reminds me of something I’d forgotten:

    … In 2008, Infoworld grouped her with a list of products and ideas as flops, declaring her to be the “anti-Steve Jobs” for reversing the goodwill of American engineers and for alienating existing customers. … Fiorina has often been ranked as one of the worst CEOs of all time.

    That is, of course, disputed, but (as far as I am aware and can recall) mostly citing various individual actions, not refuting the general theme of her time as HP’s CEO being that of “one of the worse CEOs of all time.”

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Things like this piss me off. Government employees watching porn at work? Come on! Government offices are practically on dial-up! And don’t get me started about everything being monitored, not to mention the sizeable blacklist and the hold on my supervisor is watching over my shoulder.

  • caseloweraz

    blf: That is, of course, disputed, but (as far as I am aware and can recall) mostly citing various individual actions, not refuting the general theme of her time as HP’s CEO being that of “one of the worse CEOs of all time.”

    Wikipedia: The company’s stock jumped on news of Fiorina’s departure.

    This would seen to confirm the validity of the ranking.

    Her performance at HP aside, I cannot imagine how this woman thinks she has a chance of getting the GOP nomination.

  • colnago80

    As I recall, ole Carly was fired for almost taking the company into the tank. By the way, Carly, in her first venture into electoral politics, ran against California Senator Barbara Boxer, losing badly.

  • dugglebogey

    I worked for an excellent software services company that was purchased by HP and immediately went straight in the toilet. The company would have been better off if this jerk had been watching porn all day instead of buying decent companies and ruining them.

    The first thing she did was cut everyone’s salary by 20%. Every good employee found another job immediately. Those who stayed only did so because they were unable to. A group of chimpanzees would have been more effective. Eventually they were spun off into their own business again, never to be as prosperous as they once were.

    This was common, my brother’s employer went through the same ordeal. We’re both HP refugees.

  • scienceavenger

    Wanna bet there were more than a few people at Hewlett-Packard when she was CEO who were downloading porn?

    Yeah, but that’s private sector waste, which is way less important than government waste for reasons that…well reasons.

  • whheydt

    Re: daved @ #8…

    She ran for the US Senate…against Barbara Boxer, and lost. I’m not much of a fan of Boxer, so as near as I can tell, Fiorina’s run may have actually *helped* Boxer win the 2010 election.

  • howardhershey

    When she ran against Boxer, didn’t she run the infamous “Satan’s sheep” ad?

  • doublereed

    Wait, what? Zero-based budgeting? Pay for performance? What exactly is the policy she’s promoting? I don’t understand.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Her performance at HP aside, I cannot imagine how this woman thinks she has a chance of getting the GOP nomination.

    I’m not sure how her net squares against Mitt’s, but they’re not all that far different. And unlike him, she’s never been tainted by being in government. That, of course, on top of running more than one top-notch American company.

    And finally, she is on all the right boards and isinvited to all the right parties. Where, unlike Mitt, she actually drinks.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    She did such a great job as CEO of HP, which is pretty much a company that resells Chinese-made laser printers, and toner cartridges, I’m sure she’d make a great president.

    On the bright side, she might outsource the US military to China or some similar bit of brilliance. But Wall St will surely notice the possible advantage of having a capitalist tool in The Oval Office.

  • moarscienceplz

    Ahhh yes, the ol’ GOP two-step. Step 1, Blame all problems everywhere on government waste or government overreach, using 1 or 2 anecdotes, which may not even be true. Step 2, when you get elected, prove step 1 correct by gutting every government agency that is actually effective. Lather, rinse, repeat.

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    “We have no idea how our money is spent.”

    There’s only one part of the federal government about which this is true. And it happens to be the part that Republicans want to increase funding for by $190 billion because reasons.

  • eric

    Ed:

    There are about three million employees of the federal government and nearly 15 million employees of state and local governments.

    Um, no. I believe DOD alone has more than 3 million employees, about half of that uniformed. Not all of them are feds but if a person (like Carly) thinks they’re going to reform federal government costs by looking only at people on the GS scale, they have no business being president.

    Carly:

    “We have no idea how our money is spent.”

    So go read the FY13 and FY14 appropriations. They have thousands of pages describing how Congress details the money be spent, in some case going to absurd and ridiculous specifications. This is just the argument from incredulity: someone fallaciously believing that “I don’t know how our money is spent” = “nobody knows how our money is spent.” Bzzzzt, wrong. Ms. Fiorina, your ignorance is not the world’s ignorance.

  • grumpyoldfart

    Many millions of those government employees are probably devout Christians who would never look at porn while working.

  • Artor

    Carly Fiorina should campaign on her strengths, not her weaknesses. Since she catastrophically tanked HP, she should shut up about her “business acumen.” Instead, she should make more of her wildly popular “Demon Sheep” campaign ads. That’s how she can get more name recognition!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKWlOxhSIKk

  • gerryl

    True story about HP and porn: While working as a research analyst at a high tech firm, I identified a paper produced by the research arm of HP that I wanted to get my hands on. I searched the HP website and found a link to the paper, but when I clicked on the link it took me to a porn site. (Freaked me out since this happened at work.) Epilogue: I was able to track down a phone number for someone at HP Research and alerted them to the problem.

    Probably just a problem of someone at HP not renewing ownership for a web domain, but … who knows?

  • http://www.pandasthumb.org Area Man

    They have thousands of pages describing how Congress details the money be spent, in some case going to absurd and ridiculous specifications. This is just the argument from incredulity: someone fallaciously believing that “I don’t know how our money is spent” = “nobody knows how our money is spent.” Bzzzzt, wrong. Ms. Fiorina, your ignorance is not the world’s ignorance.

    As I mentioned above, there is one major part of the federal government for which this is not true. A law was passed in 1990 (that’s a quarter century ago) requiring all government agencies to meet a yearly audit, but the Pentagon has never once actually met their legal obligations under this law, and has continually been rated as “unauditable” for that entire time, meaning that they don’t even have coherent bookkeeping that can be audited, much less actually pass one. Literally tens of billions of dollars go poof in any given year and no one can say why. Notoriously, one billion in Iraq reconstruction funds was supposedly sidelined into someone’s private vault in the mid-east. A lengthy government investigation couldn’t say whether it was true or not, but that money and way more remains unaccounted for.

    Needless to say, Fiorina and every other Republican candidate aren’t going to say a word about this, because the “small government” brigade is busy bending over backwards to throw vastly greater amounts at the Pentagon, money that could easily fund nearly all discretionary programs for decades with plenty to spare. And why bother? The whole point here is bully middle-class workers. Anyone who thinks they care about spending needs their heads checked.

  • comfychair

    I am intrigued by this concept by which paying workers less money will improve the ecomony. In fact, that would mean paying them nothing would super-improve the ecomony. And followed to its logical conclusion, charging them a fee to work would result in a twin turbo nitrous-injected ecomony multiplied by an infinite number of infinities. Zoooooooom!

  • raven

    am intrigued by this concept by which paying workers less money will improve the ecomony.

    They always forget that those workers are also consumers. Without consumers, you don’t have much of an economy. It really doesn’t help to have workers producing cheap stuff if no one, including the workers themselves, can afford to buy that cheap stuff.

  • colnago80

    Re raven @ #28

    Apropos of this, I recall a conversation between the president of General Motors at the time and UAW president Walter Reuther. The GM president pointed to the factory floor as to the dearth of workers who had been replaced by automation and said, “Walter, where are your workers”? Reuther replied, “where are your customers”?

  • labman57

    Carly has such a high regard for our public sector working class civil servants. I wonder what denigrating thoughts permeate her mind regarding private sector wage earners.

    I can’t imagine why HP decided to kick her ass to the curb …

  • ianken

    Carly just wants to do for America what she did for HP: run it into the ground in a flaming ball of failure…

  • comfychair

    They don’t forget that workers are also consumers, they reject the notion. In Supply-Side Trickle Down World, such things are dismissed as the ravings of insane Marxists.