Robertson: Gays Will Make You Like Anal Sex, Bestiality

Ol’ Pat Robertson apparently got all hopped up on tapioca pudding and some of those “age-defying shakes” he sells that will make you be able to leg press 2000 pounds and gave this delightfully dopey answer when asked about the Indiana RFRA law and the push for LGBT equality.

“It doesn’t matter what custom you’ve got, it doesn’t matter what holy thing that you worship and adore, the gays are going to get it,” Robertson said. “They’re going to make you conform to them. You are going to say you like anal sex, you like oral sex, you like bestiality, you like anything you can think of, whatever it is. And sooner or later you are going to have to conform your religious beliefs the group of some aberrant thing. It won’t stop at homosexuality.”

Robertson said that polygamy and “sex with animals” will “come next” as a result of the gay rights movement: “They’re going to be saying, ‘You’re intolerant, you’re intolerant, you’re trying to mitigate against these nice people who like dogs, what’s wrong with you?’”

It’s time to put Pat back to bed, kids.

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  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    What’s he got against polygamy? All the cool blokes in teh babble had it.

  • Al Dente

    You are going to say you like anal sex, you like oral sex, you like bestiality, you like anything you can think of, whatever it is.

    But I like anal and oral sex. Someone should tell Pat that heterosexuals can be kinkier than he thinks. Have him talk to Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart and Tony Alamo, they’ll explain sex to him.

  • John Pieret

    I can’t understand why Pat and his ilk are so against polygamy when all those holy people in the Bible they so revere, like Abraham, David and Solomon, among others, were polygamists.

    Then he rants against Muslims because the man in a marriage can divorce a woman just by saying “I divorce you” three times (don’t know if that’s true and RRW raises questions about it) but it is certainly true among Orthodox Jews (for the men only, of course).

    Somehow those escaped the “Judeo-Christian values” America was supposedly founded on.

  • Trebuchet

    I haven’t seen statistics, but I’d guess many more straight people than gay people practice anal and especially oral sex — simply because there are so many more straight people.

  • http://www.ranum.com Marcus Ranum

    PS – if the gays made me like oral sex, who should I thank?

  • Pierce R. Butler

    … you’re trying to mitigate against these nice people …

    Leave those nice people’s mittens alone!

  • anubisprime

    You are going to say you like anal sex, you like oral sex, you like bestiality, you like anything you can think of, whatever it is

    Pat …is that your petticoats showing? is that really where your mind is at?

    Seems that diatribe has revealed more about Pat and his sexual id then he might, possibly, if not justifiably, feel uncomfortable with…wingnuts 4 jeebus always appear extremely curious about what happens in other folks bedrooms, in fact so smitten and excited, they have been known to invent lurid and quite pornographic scenarios when the actual deeds are somewhat private to everyone else, mainly because everyone else does not give a tinkers damn what goes on elsewhere, the linguistic invention is always accompanied by an unmistakable stench of xtian resentment and pure envy.

    So now his proclivity for such sexual desires are known, by his own Freudian slippage, maybe someone should consider informing his fan based audience, they might well be interested themselves!

  • blf

    Indeed. We should, ah, whatever to all those icky gays. In contrast, there’s no problem with one. ah, servicing, one’s own slaves, or contributing children to the priest’s harem.

  • DaveL

    Would somebody please clue in ol’ Pat here that oral sex these days is considered about as deviant and transgressive as non-matching pillowcases?

  • tfkreference

    Pillowcases are supposed to match? I’ve been doing it wrong.

  • thebookofdave

    Have him talk to Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart and Tony Alamo, they’ll explain sex to him.

    For the love of humanity, Al Dente, ask them to hold that conversation where it won’t be overheard. Also, your comments should be prefaced with a trigger warning or at least a bottle of brain bleach.

  • thebookofdave

    it doesn’t matter what holy thing that you worship and adore, the gays are going to get it

    Gays are after his money? I must have missed the memo.

  • felidae

    Note to Paddy: it don’t take no gays to get me to liking oral sex

  • Synfandel

    …you’re trying to mitigate against these nice people who like dogs…

    Mitigate against?

    “I do not think it means what you think it means.”

  • lorn

    At some level I don’t think the fundamentalist are really afraid of homosexuality, not as such. What they really fear is heterodoxy and freedom, people deciding what to think on their own and making their own choices.

  • anubisprime

    lorn @ 15

    Absolutely…cos without the quiescent sheeple they ain’t got a herd and without a herd they ain’t got a support structure and without that they ain’t got influence and without that they have no income…

    It all starts with the ‘gathering’ of the dimwitted and the ignorant, a tactic shared equally between politicians and religious nuts, from there tis but a hop skip and a jump to opening theme park scams based on zombies and extinct critters…to being a Republican presidential candidate with god on your side and a bigotry to match, but you need the dimwitted to begin with and preferably without freedom, and the ability to make own choices, and what is more the ones doing the ‘gathering’ can be equally as dimwitted but with a strong streak of manipulation, irrational fear, hatred, ignorance and arrogance with a large dollop or two of self interest thrown into the mix, being a good liar helps.

    That is what separates the herd from the herd masters, just the eye on the potential advantages provided, if the herd are herded just right.

  • yoav

    John Pieret

    but it is certainly true among Orthodox Jews (for the men only, of course).

    Actually, since around 1000CE or so, the wife’s consent is required for a get (jewish religious divorce) to be issued.

    The system still favors men since if the wife refuses to grant a divorce the man can start a new family, and while he won’t be able to get married he won’t suffer any consequences other than disapproving looks. On the other hand, if it’s the husband who refuses to grant a get, the wife is trapped since if she start a new relationship she is considered an adulteress and any children she have would be considered mamzer (bustards) which are excluded from the community and are not allowed to get married according to jewish law up to their 10th generation offsprings.

  • busterggi

    At least he hasn’t spoken out against vacuum cleaners yet.

  • Akira MacKenzie

    busterggi @ 18

    And every neglected housewife and curious teenage boy is thankful for that.

  • https://www.facebook.com/alexander.croutonskitch Alexander Crouton-Skitch

    That Pat, always up to something. All I can do is laugh and stretch the truth just a teeeeny tiiiiiny bit. http://nationalreport.net/televangelist-pat-robertson-85-forges-signature-dies-touring-factory/

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