Trump Could Have Negotiated a Better Iran Deal

Egotist and raging asshole Donald Trump says he could have negotiated a better deal with Iran than President Obama did. After all, he wrote a best seller called The Art of the Deal. Sure, it was mostly a get rich quick scheme sold to ignorant losers, but still.

Continuing to pretend that he is running for president, Trump took on President Obama’s negotiations with Iran, which he insisted he would have been able to handle better because he wrote “the biggest-selling business book of all time,” his get-rich guide “The Art of the Deal.”

“The deal is terrible, it’s going to lead to nuclear all over the place and everyone’s going to want to have it and it’s a disaster for Israel, I can tell you, it’s a disaster for this country,” he said. “And they just don’t know what they’re doing.”

Wouldn’t you love it if he’d been on a radio show with someone intelligent so they could have asked him specifically what was wrong with the Iran deal and how he could have negotiated a better one? I’d love to have listened to him stutter and stammer like an idiot and try to change the subject.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    The deal is terrible, it’s going to lead to nuclear all over the place and everyone’s going to want to have it and it’s a disaster for Israel…

    Yeah, everything was going so well for Israel until Obama started negotiating this deal.

    Trump seems to think that the minute anything gets labeled a “deal,” that automatically makes it something Trump knows about. The title of his magnum opus had that word in it, therefore he has to be the king of all things that that word describes. I suspect that if Obama and all other officials had agreed to keep on calling it something else, like a “framework” or an “agreement” or an “understanding” or even a “treaty,” then Trump would not have even noticed anything was happening at all.

  • http://www.holytape.etsy.com holytape

    What was wrong with the deal? Well, obviously the whole ‘nuclear all over the place’, because that shit’s dangerous. They’re going to get cancer or giant radio-active mutant spiders. They should at least put all the nuclear in a lead box or something.

  • blf

    It sounds to me like Teh Turnip thinks the president — Mr Obama, or TurnipWorld, him — personally negotiates the deal.

  • http://motherwell.livejournal.com/ Raging Bee

    blf: he probably does, or at least pretends to think that when talking to his millionaire-worshipping fanboys. He certainly won’t be the first ridiculous huckster to pretend he’s a brave lonesome cowboy eager to cut through all the big words and bureaucrats and stodgy ossified diplomatic functionaries to personally lay down the law and impress the other guy with his superior persuasion skills.

  • colnago80

    Re Raging Bee @ #2

    Actually, it isn’t strictly speaking a deal. It’s a framework for negotiating a deal. AFAIK, nobody has actually agreed to do anything except negotiate.

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    Look, if Trump negotiated it, Iran would give him all the nuclear.

     

    Raging Bee ” I suspect that if Obama and all other officials had agreed to keep on calling it something else, like a “framework” or an “agreement” or an “understanding” or even a “treaty,” then Trump would not have even noticed anything was happening at all.”

    And you’d be wrong. The operative term isn’t “deal”, it’s “Obama”. Plus, since this is the big story of the day, and Trump is still seriously running for president (for real! seriously!), and Trump talking about this gets Trump’s face on TV, he can’t help but stumble in like a rutting moose and rub his Trump all over it.

  • scienceavenger

    Who cares? All this life support system for a toupee wants is attention. Why give it to him?

  • busterggi

    The worse thing about Trump as POTUS is that he’d still be better than any real Republican candidate.

  • weatherwax

    #4 Raging Bee: “He certainly won’t be the first ridiculous huckster to pretend he’s a brave lonesome cowboy eager to cut through all the big words and bureaucrats and stodgy ossified diplomatic functionaries to personally lay down the law and impress the other guy with his superior persuasion skills.”

    ‘When I tell the yes men I surround myself with to do something, they do it, so when I tell the Iranian government to do something, they’ll do it or I’ll threaten to fire them.’

    Works for me.

  • dmcclean

    Actually, it isn’t strictly speaking a deal. It’s a framework for negotiating a deal. AFAIK, nobody has actually agreed to do anything except negotiate.

    And yet, I won’t let this stop me from using the snazzy nickname I thought up for Obama, which is based on the premise that he’s already done the deal and that it was a terrible one. Because, hey, look how snazzy? And look at all the attention it gets me from people who actually bother to give a fuck about the consistency of their arguments. Oh, it riles them up real good.

  • John Pieret

    “Look, Mr. Ayatollah, or whatever your name is, if you give up all this nuclearating and centrifuging, I’ll build you a world-class casino right here in Tehran, with all the finest wines and liquors and some showgirls who leave little to the imagination. And you and your buddies will all get comped for everything! Waddayasay?”

  • felidae

    Trump would have tried to screw the Iranians like he has screwed his investors–fat chance of Donald out bargaining people who have honed their negotiating skills in the souk for millennia

  • http://sidhe3141.blogspot.com jy3, Social Justice Beguiler

    On the one hand, I kind of want to see how Mr. “I Bankrupted Three Casinos” would do better.

    On the other hand, I kind of don’t.

  • matty1

    @13 It’s simple the Iranians would be so overawed by his ego they would instantly convert from Islam to Trumpism and beg to be allowed to be an American colony (but only when Republicans are in charge).

  • sigurd jorsalfar

    The Donald is confused. A deal that results in him declaring bankruptcy isn’t a ‘better deal’ in this instance.

  • gshelley

    I was curious as to what they think might be a better deal. My suspicion was that many would have no idea,, as they aren’t interested in the actual deal, and for the rest it would be some sort of total capitulation by Iran to all demands, of the sort that would never happen

    http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/14/us/politics/senate-leaders-and-white-house-make-their-cases-on-iran-deal-legislation.html

    Some examples they are trying to push in the Bill Obama is going to veto

    *Certify every 90 days that Iran is not supporting terrorist attacks against Americans

    *Prevent the president from waiving any sanctions until the expiration of a 60-day congressional review period.

    *Making any Iran deal dependent on Tehran’s recognition of Israel’s right to exist

    *Compensation for the 1979 hostages

    *Make it a formal treaty

    Netanyahu also wants recognition of Israel to be part of the deal, as well as “shutting down illicit nuclear facilities”, but given he is also claiming this gives Iran an easy path to nuclear weapons, I wouldn’t trust a word he says on the matter.

  • DaveL

    Sure, and I’ll bet he could have written a better Rubaiyat as well.