Marco Rubio: One More Into the Clown Car

Marco Rubio has become the third Republican to officially declare his candidacy for the Republican presidential nomination. Like everyone else who runs for president, he’s only doing it because he cares so very much about your problems and for the United States and he could not live with himself if he denied the country his unique ability to save it from…something.

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) formally announced on Monday evening that he would campaign for president in 2016, rushing to cast Democrat Hillary Clinton as “a leader from yesterday.”

“Yesterday is over,” he said. “And we’re never going back. We Americans are proud of our history, but our country has always been about the future.”…

The senator also portrayed the upcoming election as a “generational choice.”

“I’ve heard some suggest that I should step aside and wait my turn. But I cannot,” he said. Because I believe our very identity as an exceptional nation is at stake, and I can make a difference as president.”

How generous of you to offer your services as savior. Like Rand Paul, however, he’s still a candidate searching for a coherent position on many issues. He’s flipped and flopped on issues like immigration and the debt ceiling fights, seeking to find and ride the political winds. This is exactly why I hate stump speeches from any politician and I’m absolutely baffled by anyone who can scream and cheer at shallow applause lines (and I don’t care what the party is).

The positions they take will shift depending on whether it’s the primary or general election and in response to the latest poll and focus group results. They hire teams of professionals to hone their message to tell audiences exactly what they want to hear. None of it is an indicator of what they will actually do once in office. Want to know what a politician will do in office? Ask yourself which groups are responsible for their election. What interest groups or constituents are they beholden to in their winning coalition? There’s a 99% chance that they’ll do the bidding of those groups nearly all the time.

POPULAR AT PATHEOS Nonreligious
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • http://www.holytape.etsy.com holytape

    “Yesterday is over,” he said. “And we’re never going back. However, let’s pass policies to drag us back there.”

  • http://www.skeptimusprime.com Skeptimus Prime

    Like the last two elections they are going to spend a year of primaries trying to out conservative each other, then they will have to spend the actual election trying to live down all the crazy things they said to appeal to the centrists. It didn’t work the last two times but surely this time it will right?

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    (and I don’t care what the party is).

    Even if the party is over here? What if it’s over there? What would get you to wave your hands as though you didn’t care? If you were at a party on the West Coast, would you be aware that it was unlike other parties, or that it wouldn’t stop on account of its location? How about if all the ladies shouted “Aw, yeah!”? What if all the people in that place, all of the people in that place, and all the people in that place followed, voicing their agreement?

  • dingojack

    The latest cunning PoG strategy:

    ‘Doing exactly the same thing over and over again, yet hoping for a better result’

    @@ Dingo

  • Evan Brehm

    “Yesterday is over. And we are never going back.”

    Such an articulate statement of policy. Of course, the GOP policies seem to be locked in the past by several decades.

  • jimmyfromchicago

    rushing to cast Democrat Hillary Clinton as “a leader from yesterday.”

    Combining an overt criticism of Hilary with a subtle dig at Jeb. 8/10.

  • Trebuchet

    Considering the age of the GOP base, this may not be a wise strategy, at least for the primaries.

  • scienceavenger

    I’d not write off Rubio so easily, he could win this thing. Perry, Santorum, Cruz and Carson are the clowns. Rubio has the American-story background, ethnicity and visual appeal (don’t laugh, that last one has been relevant in every TV-era race – ask Nixon) going for him, not to mention having Florida in the bag, thus evening up the Big 4 states (CA, TX and NY being the others). If he can pull a W-esque 40% of the Latino vote, look out.

  • http://helives.blogspot.com heddle

    I don’t have a horse in this race (I don’t vote) but I don’t see how the OP doesn’t apply to all candidates, both parties, always. I don’t understand, for example, how flip-flops are even worth mentioning as a distinctive. The current occupant, for example, flip-flopped on FISA, public financing, Guantanamo, same-sex marriage, etc. And they all give shallow speeches with well-crafted applause lines. It’s political expediency all the way down.

  • eric

    not to mention having Florida in the bag

    Yep, that’s definitely a selling point (for the GOP establishment). Still, Jeb is going to have that too, so it may not be enough to propel him to the nomination.

    Heck, if his campaign doesn’t do well and he doesn’t win (or come second in) enough of the early states to continue, being able to deliver FL also makes him good VP candidate. I guess that’s also true for Jeb, but for some reason I can’t see him wanting to be VP.

  • He Who Shall Not Be Blamed

    Forward! Not Backward.

    Upward! Not Forward.

    and always twirling, twirling, twirling to freedom!

    – Kodos (or was it Kang?)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyaJ8eR9tzw

    Makes about as much sense.

  • scienceavenger

    It’s a real blow to our political process that “flip-flop” has come to mean “change of mind”, instead of the original of changing one’s mind (the flip), and then back again (the flop). It de facto stands in the way of progress, by giving succor to the idiot’s worldview of absolute, never-changing truth.

  • coronat

    “Yesterday is over. And we are never going back.”

    If he’s the new generations candidate why is he quoting old Fleetwood Mac lyrics?

  • daved

    “Yesterday is over. And we are never going back.”

    If he’s the new generations candidate why is he quoting old Fleetwood Mac lyrics?

    Because, hey, don’t stop thinking about tomorrow.

  • daved

    Also, I wouldn’t assume Rubio is such a shoo-in for Florida. According to the April 2 Quinnipiac University poll, his support is down at the noise level. Jeb Bush is miles ahead. Of course, there’s only about 80 weeks till the election, so I suppose there’s a possibility things could change.

  • jasonspaceman

    Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) formally announced on Monday evening that he would campaign for president in 2016, rushing to cast Democrat Hillary Clinton as “a leader from yesterday.”

    Unlike when we name drop Ronald Reagan in every speech, who totally isn’t a leader from yesterday.

  • felidae

    It’s going to be fun to watch as the GOP clown show wastes money, time and political capital denigrating each other and grasping for market share among the base by proclaiming how ideologically pure each of them is, all the time losing the votes of centrist and minority voters

  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    jasonspaceman, Reagan exists outside time and space.

  • http://kamakanui.zenfolio.com Kamaka

    heddle @ 9

    I don’t have a horse in this race (I don’t vote)

    You don’t vote but you still comment political? Spare us, please.

  • http://helives.blogspot.com heddle

    Kamaka

    You don’t vote but you still comment political? Spare us, please.

    Who is the us for whom you presume to speak? Fuck you.

  • StevoR

    “Yesterday is over,” he [Marco Rubio] said.

    Wow, an accurate statement from a Republican klown prince!

    “And we’re never going back.”

    Not without a time machine anyhow. Or however hard you keep trying to turn back the decades on abortion, women’s rights, LGBTQI rights, labour rights , civil rights etc ..

    “We Americans are proud of our history, but our country has always been about the future.”…

    Guess that explains why you’ve only just normalised relations with Cuba and taken it off the terror list then. Also while the USA has much in its history to be proud of, there are other aspects like, y’know the whole slavery thing, the treatment of its First Peoples and the recent Iraq war that need to be recognised as far less worthy of pride.

    (Not that the USA is exceptional in that regard, Aussie history has much to recall with shame as well as pride too. Reckon it applies to all nations and people to varying degrees.)

    Out of the 3 klowns in the Republican race Klown car Rubio strikes me as slightly better than Cruz and Rand – but that’s really not saying much nor do I think any of the trio presently declared are going to win either the R nom or the POTUS race.

  • D. C. Sessions

    It’s going to be fun to watch as the GOP clown show wastes money, time and political capital […] all the time losing the votes of centrist and minority voters

    There are no “centrists” and “minority voters” don’t vote (one way or another).

  • D. C. Sessions

    Out of the 3 klowns in the Republican race Klown car Rubio strikes me as slightly better than Cruz and Rand

    So what you’re saying is that incompetence is preferable to malice and delusion?

  • dingojack

    D. C. Sessions (#22) – Citations required.

    Dingo

  • scienceavenger

    You don’t vote but you still comment political? Spare us, please.

    Right. And no complaining about the debt unless you’ve personally sent the government a check (over and above what was required).

  • abb3w

    One of the analysts over at Five Thirty Eight seems to make a sane argument that Rubio may have non-laughable prospects of taking the GOP nomination. (Not that he’s a shoe-in, but more that he’s at least plausible.)

  • Chiroptera

    heddle, #20: Who is the us for whom you presume to speak?

    Not me! I like Heddle commenting here.

  • http://helives.blogspot.com heddle

    Chiroptera,

    I like Heddle commenting here.

    Wow, thank you!

  • http://twitter.com/#!/TabbyLavalamp Tabby Lavalamp

    Rubio’s running? Call my broker, I want EVERYTHING into bottled water futures!

    If he wins the nomination, could we see Julian or Joaquin Castro on the Democratic ticket?

  • Michael Heath

    I second liking David Heddle posting comments here.

  • bybelknap

    I also like heddle posting here. I’ve learned some interesting things from some of his posts, and others have prompted me to look stuff up. Like why the Christian sabbath is on Sunday. There’s plenty of NT justification for the change.

    I rarely comment myself but I’m here every day. Paid for ad free content and will renew next year.

    I pretty much like reading all the comments every day: Bee’s rage, Heath’s erudition, and I’m guaranteed to literally laugh out loud at one or more of Modus’s comments.