Vander Plaats: God Might Get Us for Allowing Wiccan Prayer

Last week the Iowa House of Representatives had an opening invocation given by a Wiccan priestess and, naturally, the Christian right is flipping out about it. Bob Vander Plaats of the Iowa Family Leader told an event he hosted this weekend that it might cause God to exact some retribution.

In the end, the group responded by holding a voluntary alternative prayer service in the capitol for legislators who wanted to skip what ended up being a fairly mundane invocation from the priestess. Family Leader president Bob Vander Plaats warned that it was a “stunning development” with a potential “spiritual ramification” and quoted a verse from Ephesians about spiritual warfare against the “forces of evil,” but didn’t go so far as to say that the Wiccan priestess didn’t have the right to pray at the capitol.

But in a speech that evening to a forum that included likely GOP presidential contenders Rick Perry, Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum and Bobby Jindal, Vander Plaats — after declaring the supposed threats to the religious liberty of conservative Christians would be “the key issue of the 2016 campaign” — made it clear that while it was “totally within the religious right” to invite a Wiccan to deliver a prayer at the capitol, it might in fact give God reason to withdraw his blessing from America.

Wait, I thought he already did that? Isn’t that what caused 9/11? And Hurricane Katrina? And the recession? And every other bad thing? People like Vander Plaats are always telling us that God has lifted his hand of protection from us because something bad happened, but then they also tell us that he might hypothetically do that if we don’t kiss his ass enough. Make up your damn minds.

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  • http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Modusoperandi Modusoperandi

    It must be awful for them, temporarily feeling what it’s like to be a minority. Kudos to them, though, for going through it and completely missing the lesson. That takes skill.

  • birgerjohansson

    Isn’t christianity a recently modern invention, considering homo sapiens sapiens has been around for 300 000 years? So why did not Zod wipe us out back when we were praying to Grolf the thunder-spirit?

  • dingojack

    Vander Plaats

    😀 Dingo

  • D. C. Sessions

    Bob should take comfort that at least we didn’t put any rights for pagans and heretics into our Constitution.

  • Pierce R. Butler

    People like Vander Plaats are always telling us that God has lifted his hand of protection from us because something bad happened, but then they also tell us that he might hypothetically do that if we don’t kiss his ass enough.

    Obviously Vander Plaats’s god is Vishnu, who had hundreds of hands that he lifts whenever he wants (or when the music gets to that hot “wave yo’ hands in the air, like you just don’t care!” riff).

  • D. C. Sessions

    So why did not Zod wipe us out back when we were praying to Grolf the thunder-spirit?

    It did — but have you ever considered that its notoriously bad aim is also off in time as well as space? Eternal beings, after all, could just as easily miss by being 65 million years early. Yucatan is, if anything, closer than usual in space.

  • raven

    after declaring the supposed threats to the religious liberty of conservative Christians would be “the key issue of the 2016 campaign

    Naw.

    It will be between outright pawns of the economic oligarchies and those who want to slow down the rise of inequality and shrinkage of the middle class.

    Vander Plaats is just an useful idiot for the economic elites.

    Bill Clinton: It’s the economy, stupid!!!

    Karl Marx got one thing almost right. Economics underlies almost everything.

  • raven

    VAnder Plaats overestimates how much anyone cares about his primitive perverstion of xianity.

    Fundies only make up 26% of the population and that has been declining for years.

    A lot of people do care enough about kooks like him to oppose them including many other xians.

  • whheydt

    Of course God is going to punish Iowa for that. He is going to send a Plague of Republicans to them. Just you wait and see.

  • kennew142

    I guess it’s never occurred to Vander Plaats that his god is an evil bully.

  • Larry

    Well, if your god is that petty, Bob, you ought get to sacrificing some chickens, or virgins, or virgin chickens to appease him. Or, shoot, I don’t know, leave some cookies on the fireplace in case he gets hungery delivering them presents. Then, when nothin’ happens, you can take the credit for your quick thinking.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Fundies only make up 26% of the population and that has been declining for years.

    But they are all Republicans, which would make them a majority of the Party even if they didn’t vote in higher proportion to the other Republicans. Which they do. Especially in primaries.

    And when you consider that Republicans are extremely loyal to their Party, voting Republican regardless of the issues, that puts those 26% in charge of both the Senate and the House.

    Until the fundies lose their edge in the primary voting or else the Party loses its disciplinary cohesion, that’s not likely to change.

  • John Pieret

    birgerjohansson @ 2:

    considering homo sapiens sapiens has been around for 300 000 years

    Silly atheist, humanist, secularist, Marxist, everybody knows (because the Bible tells us so) that humans have only been around (with the rest of the universe) for only about 6,000 years. And Zod did wipe out everybody except for 8 people about 4,500 years ago because (take your pick) gayhomos were getting married, even non-gayhomos were worshiping the wrong god, and people obeyed Zod and stopped executing (the right) criminals.

    The constitutional principles are clear … while everyone has the right to be sinners and heretics, they don’t have the right to come out of the closet and talk about their sin and heresy where innocent Christians might overhear them and be made the slightest bit uncomfortable.

  • kenn

    “…after declaring the supposed threats to the religious liberty of conservative Christians would be “the key issue of the 2016 campaign”

    Hey, if they want to run on that, who am I to tell them it’s a sure loser in a general election?

  • sirhc58
  • hunter

    “People like Vander Plaats are always telling us that God has lifted his hand of protection from us because something bad happened, but then they also tell us that he might hypothetically do that if we don’t kiss his ass their asses enough.”

    I think that’s closer to what VanderPlaats wants.

  • coragyps

    “a forum that included likely GOP presidential contenders Rick Perry, Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum and Bobby Jindal…”

    Holy. Fucking. Shit.

  • D. C. Sessions

    Holy. Fucking. Shit.

    You left one of them out.

  • marcus

    @^

    Holy. Fucking. Shit.

    You left one of them out.

    Asshole?

  • lorn

    These are the same folks who see a Christian centered government as a good thing.

    Given that the wrath of God is supposed to be bad, and painful … and their private nightmare is of a Godless government of liberals efficiently governing a Godless country and …

    Doesn’t that mean the wrathful God might inflict a Democratic landslide of secularists upon the believers to punish them?

    Is it okay for a Godless atheist to cheer for the vengeful wrath of a nonexistent God?

  • anubisprime

    awww!…how cute…little Bobby got a little puddle at his feet and wet rompers up to his bum…bring the talc!

  • jnorris

    Hey Bob Vander Plaats, is there any chance that God’s retribution on Iowa will involve tornadoes?